Start Here

You have engaged the most outrageous relationship training site you could possibly imagine. If you are not interested in this topic, you are in the wrong place. Go away. If you are interested, the first thing we would like you to do is provide us your email address so you can get a free sixteen-page booklet about relationship patterns. All you need to do is submit your information on the front page and we will keep you informed as to other training opportunities. Here is the hot-linked site map to help you navigate the site quickly. It provides an overview about what is available on this site.

We provide a suggested systematic pattern for engaging this work. As we move vertically down the site map, we engage deeper content. As we move to the right, things become more contextual. If you do not know what your Defense Style is you might want to go there first (third topic down on the third column). This means that Dynamic Defense style individuals can move from the top to the bottom and Disarming Defense style individuals can go from left to right to understand this work the fastest. The Distant, Disnamic and Pioneering individuals may mix their approach by moving diagonally. Or, you can start with the problem then read the solution, order an assessment and be done before lunch.

The Site Menu Explained

It is important to understand what is available in the different menus across the top of the page. The Purpose statement is about who we are, what we do, and who we serve. It provides a clear definition of the problems we have in relationships and the way we need to address them. The Factors section contains a drop-down menu of all fifteen Compatibility Factors. They are mostly ranked in order of importance from top to bottom. What Compatibility Factors tell us is how to recognize and affirm our unique way of doing things. It is also valuable to understand what makes others different than us so we are not attempting to change them. This helps us to build our Autonomy, and it provides a framework for seeing how differences with others can be addressed.

[Note: when you click on Motives, Attractions and Skills, a chart will come up that has hot links for each box. Not only are there twelve clickable items within the chart, but there are eight more clickable header sections.]

The Motives section discusses twelve different types of Motives and how they are organized on four levels in terms of Instinctive, Intellectual, Idealized and Intuitive. You will see three columns identifying masculine, feminine and combined approaches. The more we recognize our Motives, the easier it is to see Motives in others, which makes life less chaotic because we can predict others’ actions more effectively. When we have vast differences in Motives, it is rare that we will trust the other person or want to work with them. We discuss how we can uplift Motives in our partners and in ourselves to increase the range of responsiveness we have to the universe. The thing to realize is that we are not limited by our Motives if we know who we are as a Creative Being.

The Attractions section is organized in terms of twelve basic Attractions, but this actually reflects a larger hierarchy of nine weak Attractions and nine strong Attractions. Attractions tell us what we are trying to learn. Each Attraction is either an imbalance where we seek to get something from others, or where we have creative tension with something that needs to be resolved on a larger level. A lot of people get stuck thinking of Attractions as the way to get certain experiences, which means they end up repeating themselves and over time, become crystallized in their life. From our perspective Attractions are ever changing, moving and expanding, if we want to be growing with the universe. Everywhere we can see people who did not grow with the universe and how they became stuck in their past. For example, we can see this in the older generation’s computer phobia. If we do not keep evolving with society we become less relevant.

The Skills are in some ways the most important aspect of the Higher Alignment program. By building Skills, we supersede our conditioning and build more unified connections with partners because we know how to work together. There are twelve Skills, but few of us have activated more than two or three. This means that finding partners with similar Skills is difficult can be co-dependent. What is even more challenging is finding people who have activated many Skills. However, these people are the ones who attract partners with many Skills. Learning about and activating Skills is one of the most unspoken opportunities in relationship technology.

We went to town on the CNG section and probably have more material in that section than you need or want. It is a personal account of how we grow in certain ways and learn relationship Motives, Attractions and Skills as we embody our Authentic Life Expression. It has many practices that support us in deepening our ability to be with partners, and particularly talks about how we can re-create the experience of our partners in a way that supports both of us in embracing larger opportunities. Common Neutral Ground is the unifying framework for the Higher Alignment program.

We promote certain Classes that are currently being offered, as well as providing an inventory of all of our free Intro Night videos and downloads. This section will eventually be expanded and enhanced. You can also view our full offerings at our online store: haevents.us.

As we build out the next nine websites, we will add links to other sites as we go so you can stay informed about any additional information we are providing.