Reserved

Reserved is a circumstance or situation in which a person doing Reserved sets up ways for other people to engage him or her on their terms. It is best identified by the sense of repressed elegance like Cary Grant. It is quiet, contained, focused and encourages self-discipline about what is needed. It also conveys a distant sense of power and restraint. Individuals doing Reserve are withdrawn but interested in others. In some ways, Reserve can come off as sophisticated and suave because it has an air of refinement to it. Reserve is actually very self-disciplined and controlled internally, so that when they do take action, it is with a certain panache and sense of discrimination.

This sense of being tempered, tasteful, and civilized encourages others to give them space and room for expression. Overall, it is the sense of restraint that impresses others because it seems like they do not have to lower themselves to the level of others. This type of activity is based on a minimalist expression, which is somewhat paradoxical because they do more with less. They can also be extremely influential and large in their expression. Their influence is extremely accentuated when they operate as a mysterious person of considerable social position or authority. Underneath Reserve, is a sense of shyness that can be endearing to others. When it is natural, it comes across as whimsical and tender. In this situation, they are developing self-discipline and focus. The fear of those doing a Mode of Reserve is that others will not embrace them. About 2% of the world population is working in a primary Mode of Reserve, while 12% have a Mode of Reserve to some degree.

Reserved imprinting is identified by the way individuals close themselves off from other people, to give themselves time to re-generate. The primary indicators of Reserved imprinting show up as inhibition and suppression where individuals are afraid to experiment. The imprinting itself is more cautious than when doing Reserve in a natural way. In other words, being in a primary mode of Reserved has more elegance and focus in being pulled back as a way to refine their expression. When you are imprinted with Reserve, you are not socially adept and commonly make mistakes. The lack of elegance makes it easy for others to see that you do not have their interests at heart. Those with Reserve imprinting will retreat and withdraw immediately from public contact when they are overwhelmed. Ironically, they are so terrified of being overwhelmed, they frequently try to divert attention from themselves by setting others up to experience difficulties. The belief that is held by those in Reserve is “I do not need to deal with this right now” whenever things become too intense or difficult.

When not natural, Reserve is more superficial and typically used to throw others off balance. In this situation, there is the appearance of more force, tension, and even a sense of desperation could come into play. When a person is imprinted with Reserve over Reserve as a natural way of being, it further deepens the conflict and they seem more inhibited, suppressed, blocked, and depressed. Instead of being expressive, they tend to be more isolating in their activity and keep themselves separate from others. They can even use this isolation to appear aloof, indifferent, and even disconnected from what is normal. This is the way they try to create the illusion of safety. It is this isolation that encourages them to find ways to blame or shame others so they don’t have to deal with their own tension and fears. Ironically, the act of separating themselves from others can actually generate reactions in others by which they infer that they are not good enough, when in fact, it feels the person imprinted with Reserve is not good enough for others. When it is imprinting, it comes across as cold and indifferent. Unlike genuine Reserve, those individuals who are imprinted with Reserve are typically emotionally closed down.

Primary Focus—To approach their goals in a controlled, self-disciplined manner. To be an example of grace and elegance; the true appreciation of beauty.
Responsive characteristics—Restraint, discipline, refined, tempered, elegant, sublime, civilized, tasteful.
Reactive characteristics—Inhibited, suppressed, constrained, blocked, depressed.
Number of individuals primarily using this mode: 2%.
Examples: Fred Astaire, Mia Farrow, Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Ingrid Bergman, Candice Bergen, Grace Kelly, David Niven, Mr. Rogers, Michael Jackson, Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable, Jane Pauley, Allistair Cooke