Personality Detachment:

Lesson 5: Transcending Our Attachments

Introduction

Personality Detachment means freeing ourselves from our Conditioning. It means not listening to the voices inside that tell us what to do all the time. It means letting go of the idea that we always need to protect ourselves. When this occurs, we discover our Creative Nature. We find ways to connect with others creatively that are not based on Fears or frustrated Desires. Are we ready to consciously sacrifice the pain and drama inherent in our survival programming? What keeps us from doing this is fear of the unknown. Who would we be if we gave up our Excitement, Intensity and Anxiety? What if our natural Awareness was not capable of running our lives? Could we even trust ourselves to not make a mess of things if we did not have the fear of failure to drive us forward?

Like the last skill, Personality Detachment is a feminine skill that sounds masculine but has feminine obstacles; namely a Motive of Personal Dominion and a personality attraction of Innocence. The core issue is to release self-limiting attachments to objects, falsely believing they make us more safe and secure. These attachments are the result of distortions in our thinking, where an association with a particular object because of its familiarity reinforces our personal identity. When we start to see how these are false feelings of Safety and Security we start to reject the need for instinctive crutches. Personality Detachment is just the acknowledgement that these associations are not real and to count on them can only let us down. The lesson is we need to transcend the perception that thoughts themselves will protect us.

The more we can internally reference our experience and feel unified in our ability to make sense of ourselves, the greater is our personality development. This personality has not only a defensive identity, but also a perspective about where it is relative to others. It is this boundary-making capability that makes it valuable. The downside is it fragments us into many sub-personalities that seek attention; each that wants to express itself differently. Over time, this part of us builds upon our ‘me’ space so we identify with ourselves and become an ‘I’ space. When people attack us we naturally react from the ‘I’ space and hide the ‘me’ space. We differentiate the ‘me’ space as what we believe about ourselves but are afraid to share (out of fear of rejection). The ‘I’ space is what we put forward in the world, even if it is an idealized version of who we are.

Eventually, we start to realize that our need for Safety and Security is in fact compromising our creative expression. It is this point where we want to recognize that our personality needs governance by our Creative Nature. This promise is more easily fulfilled if we begin to actualize our Primary Creative Expression. When this occurs, we realize that our Creative Nature, where we express the best of who we are, is at odds, and even in conflict with, our personality programming. The easiest way to deal with this is to affirm our Creative Nature and put the control of our personality under it. For a number of reasons, this could prove difficult. An alternative is to de-emphasize the personality Safety and Security program by recognizing its limitations. Others work on healing their Defenses, which has a similar impact in diminishing the overt power of the personality structure. As personality power is only based on fear, by healing our fears we transform our personality protection mechanisms. 

Personality Detachment is a Skill, like others, where if we do not connect to our own Creative Source, there is little opportunity to joyfully connect with others. By using the presence we have developed with the Skills of Aliveness, Wisdom and Growth, Personality Detachment becomes easier. Ironically, Personality Detachment is where we accept that our programming is what makes us survive and succeed. What if it were our Creative Source that actually empowers us to be who we are? This is about going beyond our comfort zones, to explore new ways of connecting with others where we do no use standard rules and expectations to guide our choices. What we fear is that others will not trust us if we go beyond the norms established for safe and secure interactions. In short, we fear we will lose the support of others if they do not agree with us.

We focus on our feminine side, and allow ourselves to take the risk of others not understanding or accepting us because of our differences. The key is to put ourselves in a position where we challenge the status quo and are willing to stand alone (if necessary) because our Truth is valuable to us. Otherwise, compromise becomes the default modality and we have to live in a limited world of rule making and rule-following. The problem with this is we are often stuck in the dilemma of wanting to be more, fearing others will not accept us if we speak out. We need to learn to distance ourselves from these reactions to affirm our true creative knowing. When this is accomplished, we can create a true sense of stability based on our own experience, where others can get to know what makes us unique. This stability comes from Cellular Affinity, Vibratory Response and Vibratory Expansion. These become the primary ways we experience our Truth.

We realize that who we are, at least in an intellectual sense, is a combination of experiences that have a unique identity not related to our conditioning or programming. This means we learn to make distinctions between what is real to us and what we have learned theoretically about the world. What has relevance to us is who and what we are. All the negative experiences are part of who we are but not the rules or conclusions that have distanced us from others. This means we no longer use absolutes or rules to distinguish ourselves. We know that our defenses are not useful in improving connections to others. Our conditioning and defensiveness needs to be put to the side if we are to have balanced, informative interactions.

Personality Detachment is about calm, clear, easy-going exchanges of information without being attached to how much we know or why we know a particular thing. When we are balanced in ourselves, we do not need to push our Truth on others. We also do no need to be on the receiving end of taking on the Truth of others to make them accept us. Instead, it is a choice for them to accept or deny what we believe. Personality Detachment is the quality where we emerge from confusion and can simply state what our experiences or perceptions are. For some, it is about consciously sacrificing Defenses and Pretenses so we can have a fulfilling, creative interaction. Another way of describing this is that between conscious sacrifice and confusion there is a distinct Truth or integrated framework of knowing that we seek to express to be seen and accepted for who we are. If we cannot express this Truth without worrying how others interpret it, we are still stuck in distortions of our experience.


Personal Dominion initially originates from a sense of entitlement. It is the Commitment to take ownership of your own space and everything in it. The more we become attached to the things in our life that conveys a sense of status and power to others, the more we are out of Balance in a way that invites change. When we separate who we are from what we want, we create a false sense of Security by identifying completely with what we want.When others are not in Alignment with us or do not support what we want, our natural reaction is to distance them with Intensity.Usually this change is a readjustment in our lifestyle where we have to reset our expectations. Getting back to the simple pleasures of life can be a wake up call extraordinaire. When Personal Dominion is combined with the Attraction of Innocence, it leads to the façade that we don’t want to soil ourselves by having to deal with the realities of life. Most of the time, this means that we adopt different Beliefs about how we are better than the common people around us because they don’t have our elegance, refinement or understanding about the finer things in life. Innocence is an attraction based on an outdated notion of purity where we falsely believe that we can elevate our Partners and protect them from all the rudeness or raw aggression that life contains. What this ends up doing is setting ourselves up to attract those who believe they need to be there to take care of us. In this way, the attraction of Innocence is the polar opposite of Strength where we see people amplifying both of these qualities to play out a certain role with each other.


Until we confront our imbalanced expectations about our Partner we do not actually see their imbalanced expectations about us. If we do not confront these issues, we get caught up in codependent patterns where our Fears and Desires are merged and confused. Personal Dominion is also the opposite of Personal Achievement that further defines how we should take care of each other by performing in certain ways. The individual doing Personal Dominion has certain obligations around the house, and perhaps children as they perform a nurturer role. The individual doing a Personal Achievement role has obligations as provider and performer that is worthy of their Partner. All of these patterns create a social etiquette and set of expectations of how interactions should be. Until we recognize that the world treats us in many different ways, we do not get over this sense of entitlement. Recognizing that Innocence is a way to hide out and not take responsibility for our true Desires, we learn to speak up for our needs. The more we lose ourselves in our needs, the less effective we are at manifesting them. The key thing is to not be afraid to be ourselves. The more we are caught up in playing the role, the less effectively we will be expressing what we need in appropriate ways.

Like Personal Achievement, to go beyond Personal Dominion requires that we take responsibility for what we truly need. We need to separate what we want from what would serve others and us in our life. Instead of losing ourselves in our things (house, cars, possessions) and patterns of behavior we need to cut through and clarify what is truly a way to benefit us and distinguish what is actually a distraction. We see the effects of this choice when individuals having great wealth become overly fixated on maintaining it and deny any sense of Intimacy and Growth interpersonally.  The lesson here is always to consider what is the most important? Do we pay Attention most to the infrastructure of our life, or to the development of our life? When we Sacrifice the old to engage the new, we are regenerated. This is called Personality Detachment. It allows us to move in to a new way of expressing ourselves moment-to-moment without reference to the past.Personality Detachment is the capacity to distinguish ourselves from the comfort of Safety and Security patterns to the possibility that we may enjoy and be fulfilled by making a creative contribution. What is needed is to be able to prioritize who we are versus what we Thought we had to be to be appreciated. Letting go of Beliefs about what we need allows us to create a true relationship with others in that it opens up possibilities for manifesting true Connections. Ultimately, it is not what we have that matters to others, but how we uniquely express ourselves with them.

Personal Dominion

Personal Dominion is a state of conditioning where we use a personal environment, relative position or possessions to command Respect and justify our choices over those of others. In Personal Dominion, the Feminine pole of Intellectual Motives, we project our power by using possessions to get Respect. When we operate in a state of Personal Dominion, we are so attached to getting the Respect of others that we do not even realize when others have taken control of the situation. As long as we are being respected, we do not really care about the results. When we engage Personal Dominion, we are most upset when others change their plans without consulting us. Personal Dominion reflects our wish to be honored for our personality needs. We fear being discounted or denied in our potential. In effect, we attempt to solidify or strengthen our position by associations with people who are considered powerful or by using wealth, material possessions, or even education to distinguish ourselves from others. In Personal Dominion, personal identity and personality emerge more forcefully, particularly if we feel frustrated. We believe that others have more power than we do, thus we force Respect by expecting others to confirm what we are due.

In the motive of Personal Dominion, we operate from the false perspective that others will not Respect us unless we can affect them. As a result we emphasize the nature of our power or position so others will realize there may be consequences to ignoring us. We believe that others will not pay Attention to us or take us into Consideration without these external reflections of success. In effect, we believe we need the right car, house, clothing, etc. to make an impression so that others will treat us right. This is reinforced because we tend to justify the treatment others get by the outer indications of success they manifest. Another aspect of Personal Dominion is the subtle belief that others will not appreciate me if they actually know me. Ironically, by concealing who we are we actually create situations where they do not know who we are, which means they are uncertain about how to treat us. In this way our fear actually generates the negative response we are seeking to avoid. One way of validating that we are operating in a state of Personal Dominion is how we falsely believe that others need our protection (either physically or Emotionally), when in fact, we act this way to reinforce our perception that they need us.

The hidden belief of Personal Dominion is that if I do not demand Respect, others will walk all over me. In this motive, we typically react to this belief by asserting that others take us into Consideration because we are someone important. By asserting this belief, we actually distance our self from others, which reinforces our belief that we are being excluded or defined by others Beliefs about us. We naturally rebel against any categorization of who we are because we want our potential honored. As a result we frequently categorize others so that we do not feel at the effect of their perceptions. When we are uncertain about our self, it is likely that we will operate as if our Beliefs are unassailable so that others will not catch on to how our Fears are affecting us. We are easily identified by our desire to make an impact on them, while outwardly believing that others will not grant us what is due to us. Personal Dominion is where we begin to acknowledge our self yet are unable to believe hat others will honor us as we are because we are as yet not fully honoring our self.

Now we will address how to heal our Personal Dominion conditioning. Let us recognize that who we are is more than what we possess and is not naturally reflected in how others treat us. Instead of demanding Respect, let us create Self-Respect within ourselves in a way that others would naturally pay Attention to. Let us create this possibility by recognizing and honoring our innate potential, thereby supporting the innate potential in others. Let us imagine ourselves expressing our more freely in our everyday lives so that others delight in our Presence. Let us consider how our openness and lack of attachment to how others relate to us can actually be a freeing Experience where the truth of others emerges alongside our own. Let us consider that every interaction is more revealing when we do not place our expectations upon others. Instead of wanting others to treat us well, let us release any attachments to how they treat us so we can discover more about how they honor themselves. When we are operating at this level, graciously Respect others without being asked. This will naturally uplift us to the Idealized Trust level. In this way, we create more honest and direct relationships with others. This will all occur when we accept our natural vivaciousness and allow ourselves to be truly adored.

When we release ourselves into the chaos of all possibilities, the larger, more magnificent options emerge. Fear contracts our options, and the more we demand that others Respect us, the less Respect we actually receive. Instead of insisting on outer Appreciation of our situation and needs, let us invite others to respond based on their perception of what they can appropriately contribute to us. When we step into this possibility, let us not do it seductively. This supports us in releasing our fear of not being seen as special and being excluded. It is Paradoxical that the less special we are, the more others can respond to us in unique ways. Personal Dominion is fully Experienced when we let each individual choose the appropriate degree of Connection they seek with us.

What we are learning in the Experience of Personal Dominion is to honor our Boundaries so that we can begin to see and appreciate the Boundaries of others. Any time someone acts in an egregious way with us, we can use our greater Contextual awareness to meet them where they are. When we can respond without reacting, they will be intrigued at our ability to be present with them, despite their attacks. This Mystery is merely our ability to be present with ourselves, empowering us to use any additional energy to be present with them. We can use our supplemental energy to help them to be present to their own truth so they can heal. In this way, by honoring the Dominion of all people, we can effectively honor our own without diminishing theirs. In listening and mirroring their Experience, our honoring of their space will support them in honoring our space as well.

The three belief structures of Romance, Motives, and Love assert their power whenever we are not Conscious of our true choices. Personal Dominion is the assertion of our personal ownership (both of our possessions and our position) that empowers us in our mind to dispose of certain issues in the manner we choose. It allows us to use our “self Beliefs” to distance our Personality Self from others. This way our superiority Beliefs (either Conscious or Unconscious) can prevail. In effect, we believe it is our right to operate in whatever way we wish and we believe others should meekly accept our decisions.

The word “Dominion” has its history as an expression of legal authority. Usually it is an assertion of an undisputed right in some area where we avoid being challenged or questioned. In our personal lives this typically reflects our past mistakes and requires that others Respect our process (even if they do not know it.) Personal Dominion reflects a belief in our own sovereignty when we are, in reality, not yet Respecting the sovereignty of others. This shows that we Consciously or Unconsciously, through our possessions or position, to expand our sphere of influence by getting others to define themselves in terms of us. We can see examples of this by unilateral expectations that others should treat us in a “particular way.” This is not to suggest that we do not have the right to request natural dignity, but many unilateral demands are out of Balance to the circumstances and situation. Our demand that they Respect us without us Respecting them illustrates how our past wounds are defining our interactions. Without the assertion of Personal Dominion, we would realize in any Conscious relationship, that we have to find ways to honor others to effectively engage them.

There are two primary ways we gain this ascendant position in our own minds.  The first is through covert manipulation and secrecy by which we take a position that does not immediately challenge others but, over time, becomes leverage to extort greater influence for ourselves. This is the covertor stealth path to dominion where through our familiarity and consistent effort we make it unattractive for people to oppose us.

The second is to take possession of some position or thing and, by right ownership, to stir up the current way things are done in an effort to stimulate confrontation. In this overt confrontational process, we keep pushing our agenda until we cannot push any further. This second path assumes others who want something from us will actually be subject to our rule. In both of these situations, there is an emphasis that implies the subordination of others, either overtly or covertly. We can tell if a person is operating in a motive of Personal Dominion because they operate in a unilateral belief that they can dispose of the situation independently.

The core issue behind Personal Dominion is the false belief that their possessions or position give them the right to impose their will on others. See Diagram 15: “Related Personal DominionBeliefs”.In effect, authority is derived from their belief in their superiority over others. This makes it hard to work out co-creative solutions because people operating in Personal Dominion find it difficult to listen or be open in any real way. Major examples of this are women and their attachment to their homes or men and their attachment to their offices and having these places be the way they want them to be. More recently in our history, our cars have represented a state of Personal Dominion for us. In this way, our possessions become seen as a reflection of our power to manifest and our potential to influence others. In actuality, it expresses how many of the people around us are in a greater state of denial than we are. When they are in a greater state of denial, they are willing to believe they need to conform to us to maintain our friendship.

Personal Dominion is supportive to the degree that we begin to tell and express our authentic truth. The problem is when we believe we have to make an impact and not just tell our truth, but assert it over others. This usually reflects that we were not listened to or taken into account in our past. Being able to make others listen to us offsets some of the pain we felt when we were not listened to in the past. Unfortunately, we typically feel justified in making these assertions only when there is some external support or justification for our statements. This means we fall back on the belief that possessions are what make us valuable and deserving of being listened to. This becomes an obstacle because then we evaluate what we are willing to say based on the position and possessions we have to substantiate our Thoughts.

The irony is that this logic would dictate that only people who own everything would have a right to say anything they want. This means those with possessions are the ones with power and those without them have no right to say anything. While this may be the prevailing trend among the exclusive, upper class as a way to justify their Beliefs, it is not a useful framework to employ in any democracy. We heal these perceptions by seeing that many people have brought great new ideas to humanity and had them accepted despite their social status. It is the clarity and power of our Thoughts that makes them undeniable. When we begin to take responsibility for how our self-expression has been limited unless we believed we could substantiate it with position or possessions, we awaken to how much of our

Truth has gone unsaid and even denied within our self. Instead, we probably have fallen into trying to convince others by appealing to their Fears or Desires rather than to their sense of Truth. The degree to which we compromised our self is the same degree to which we have been unable or unwilling to reveal our Truth. Secrecy becomes an artificial power when we know more than others and use it to make them aware that we can influence their image (particularly with others). Even when we do not know others, we sometimes are reluctant to speak our truth for fear of judgment. Instead, we fall into the need to seek agreement with others and to make our self “right” through the Acceptance of our Beliefs by others. Wherever we could not assert our belief, we used either secrecy or the need others have to agree with us as a way to expand our sense of influence. Over time, friends, associates, and partners increasingly reflected our stories.This further reinforced the idea that we needed them to agree with us to assert our larger reality in the world.

The Paradox is that we become dualistic in our approach to others by, on the one hand, asserting ourselves in areas where we believe we can leverage our position and possessions and, on the other hand, where we collapse into the need for common agreement and must find ways to compromise ourselves so they will be willing to meet our needs, too. In this way, we are confronted with the codependent nature of Intellectual Motives. In this situation, in a state of Personal Dominion we learn to become clear about what we can and cannot substantiate in our communications with others.  When we no longer seek to substantiate our perspective, we are able to share it as it is, without using it to leverage the views of others. We Respect their truth so they do not have to become wrapped up in “getting it right.” Mutual truths become ways connect and create a foundation for mutual learning.

The hidden denied belief is the default assumption that we operate from when we are Unconscious. Our fear is that we will continue to be hurt by others not listening to us. When we operate with the motive of Personal Dominion, we turn it around this belief so that we hurt others before they hurt us. While initially it appears to relieve the pressure, overall it will create more animosity and struggle in our relationships with others. The ideal of Personal Dominion is to reflect that we have a choice about how to participate. When we shift from being personally repressed in our expression to repressing others in their expression, it continues the inner compromise in a new way. We also attract people who perpetuate this Cycle. This reflects the worst-case Personal Dominion scenario where we are self-identified with our possessions and position and are using them to get our way. Until we recognize that our relationships are not one-way streets, we will not be able to work with others successfully.

The issue of self-denial and recovery from that denial requires us to find a Balance within ourselves. How can we assert ourselves over others without reaping a similar response from them? The Illusion is that we can assert ourselves in such a way that others will eventually have to give up and submit or go away. The reality is that people do give up and we are left without anyone to relate to. Then we need to pay people to interact with us. We can see this in many of the homes of the wealthy who do not Trust any relationship where they are not in charge and, thereby, they feel do not provide them from a superior position from which to speak. As a result, they are more comfortable hiring whomever they need because they do not Trust that anyone would really want to interact and grow with them simply for its own sake. This reflects our own attachment to being superior and how, the more others threaten us with their own ideas of what is right, the more we retreat to using covert or overt attacks on their competence or understanding of the situation.

Whenever we feel threatened by the Truth of someone else, it indicates we have not yet affirmed our own Truth in this area. Instead of using gossip to tear others down, a Conscious person would work to establish their own Truth independent of others. Getting caught up in comparison games indicate we are insecure and are unwilling or unable to confront the parts of us that are not yet complete and whole. Some call this “learning to embrace and love our shadow side”, which seems to encompass all the dispossessed and denied aspects of our self. With investigation we realize that, what we believe to be our weaknesses when compared to other people, have led us to shut down even more in our self-expression. One way to come out of the shadow is to affirm our natural lack of aptitude in some area and play (in an outwardly revealing way) with these issues. When we transcend any need for secrecy or to hide any aspect of our self, we will no longer be attached to our image or outer perception of power. Self-revelation leads to true power and self-expression.

We heal ourselves by learning how to Respect our Truth in all circumstances, realizing that any need to assert it over others is a reflection of our past denials. Instead of reacting to our past and trying to re-make it in a way so that we push ourselves on others, we need to forgive ourselves for our past and find ways to co-create our Truth with others. This means Respecting the Truth of others as much as and simultaneously as our own. It also means we must examine what is appropriate for us and not be stubborn and fixated about getting others to honor us and ways we have not yet honored ourselves. In this way, we will discover that much of our stubbornness is really a reaction to how our over-adaptability was taken advantage of in the past. Personal Dominion is an ongoing opportunity to determine what we need to affirm to find and maintain our own inner power. Unfortunately, we choose to reinforce our importance at the cost of our real value. Recognizing our humanity and authentic nature allows us to create Safety internally so we will not take on the Judgments of others. Releasing our secrecy empowers us to grow and engage with strength any weaknesses. To transcend Personal Dominion we need to see and value our inner Beauty (just as we are) so we do not become trapped in false ways of being.

By putting aside our need for vengeance, our addiction to envy and not buying into our Fears of inadequacy, we can transform our petty views of Personal Dominion into a fully empowered Personal Dominion without “withholds”, secrecy, and gossip.  Rather than hiding our Truth (which is known as withholding), it is time to be more naturally revealing in our Truth without needing to assert it over others. Finding the Balance between speaking our truth and listening to the truth of others develops over time. This releases us from any attachment to our current Beliefs about our Self. In this way we remember that our Beliefs are only supports in our exploration of the Universe, not a substitute for experiencing it. The Freedom to transmute our Beliefs allows us to change and grow with the Universe.

Self Acceptance and greater humility occur when we realize that no one can actually deny our truth besides us. Recognizing that our Beliefs are only a reflection our expression allows us to release our grasp on them so we can breathe more deeply and richly all our natural relationship possibilities. Through Personal Dominion we are not able to embrace these opportunities because we are too busy holding on to our “polished” Personality Self image. We see beyond this façade when we can admit that our truth is merely what it is… an evolutionary point of view that reflects where we are on our path. While it needs no explanation or justification, we only slow down our Growth by any need to assert it over others.

We need to find true self-confidence that allows us to share our Truth without the need for the agreement of others. When we can interact from our in the moment truth without worrying about how other will view our perspective, we will be moving into the motive of Universal Dominion. We need to step out of our Fears that we are not important to recognize that our true importance lies in our ability to express ourselves completely. We do not have to elevate our importance. Our importance in already present in our natural Being. Any attempt to be superior just reflects our Fears that we will be treated as inferior. The only way out of this dilemma is through it. We need to make it a practice to just be ourselves and accept that sometimes people will be responsive and sometimes they will not. Everything does not have to go according to our agenda to be beneficial to us. We can learn to interact freely with the Universe without preconceptions of what others would or should look like. This is true Trust.

Innocence

Innocence is an attraction based on the fact that we wish to regain our own inner innocence. The more we are jaded and wish things could be different, the more we are susceptible to the apparent innocence of others. Our attraction to Innocence is usually based on the inner Experience of Feeling compromised by the circumstances of our lives. The desire is to return to a time when we did not feel compromised, so hope and faith can be regained. This reflects the Feminine side of Intellectual attractions where we can be forgiven for past mistakes and seen for our fundamental potential and the goodness of our initial Intentions. Ironically, individuals who use innocence to attract others are typically the most sophisticated decision makers. These individuals have learned how to create certain perceptions in others, which allow them to not reveal their own true Thoughts and Intentions. When they are able to project a sense of purity or incorruptibility it deflects Attention from their intuitive grasp of circumstances and ability to predict outcomes. They believe that what their Partners do not know cannot hurt them. They become great listeners and are able to support the ego of their Partners by making them feel intelligent and strong. Therefore, it is in their best interest to maintain innocence and the appearance of naiveté to keep the interest of their Partner.

The Thought of Innocence, or being considered “innocent” could repulse us. This idealization places pressure and responsibility on us to live up to others expectations. We are frequently compared in our childhood to the good brother or sister that was always perfect. When this occurs, we make it our duty in life to always puncture the Illusion that others are truly innocent. In a way, we develop an anti-innocence position based on never again Feeling at the effect of others attraction to innocence. The more we buy in to anti-innocence, the more we attract relationships where our Partners have been abused. This confirms our World View that things may not always appear to be the way they are. It is therefore useful to neutralize our positions about innocence and anti-innocence so we truly can recover a spontaneous response to the newly found truthful Experience they are having, otherwise we are trapped in relationship patterns where we Unconsciously reinforce negative history over the possibility of innocent rediscovery.

Personality Detachment

Now, let us find a way to honor spirit over outer appearances. Let us use meditation and self-reflection to detach from our lower reactions. Let us consider that by applying discipline to our lower personality nature we can enhance the experience of our higher spiritual source. This takes a commitment to let go of the attachments, habits and tendencies where we lose Self consciousness. We are more than our thoughts, emotions or behaviors. Instead, let us realize that we are the beings behind our creative expressions; the thinkers behind our thoughts; the doers behind our behaviors. Let us become aware that we are the rulers of our senses and that as we perceive and interpret the meaning of each sense we can hold forth the power to transform each experience moment to moment.

Summary: Personality Detachment is the ability to let go of perceptions that reflect our conditioning and defensiveness. Since we possess the capacity to interpret as we want, why not use this ability to neutralize the distortions of Personality perception. Letting go of needing to be safe and secure in every situation can awaken us to creative opportunities and perceptions that we could not previously see. The practice of Personality Detachment teaches us that many of our projections are the result of our Personality Fears and Desires that we are not admitting within our Self. These distortions reflect attachments to our Safe and Secure way of seeing reality, which prevents us from growing up and engaging it. Balancing how we utilize our sensations, feeling/emotions and thoughts to create our reality is the first step. The second is to see that our behaviors, feeling/emotions and thoughts are expressions of us, but are merely reflections and expression of our Creative Being. Ultimately, to accomplish this we need to let go of thinking our experiences are ours alone.

Essential Questions:
How Do We Support Our Inner Experience of Being Connected to the World?
What Are the Benefits of Personality Detachment?
What Is the Cost of Not Honoring Spirit Over Appearance?
What Are the Three Types of Attachments That Keep Me Stuck?

We become more detached by observing our reactions vs. responses. Our reactions indicate our Conditioning (Defenses, Pretenses, and Imprinting). Our ability to response is a result of accepting and action for our Primary Creative Expression. Separating these tow is what makes Personality Detachment so important. It permits us to invest in the more productive areas of endeavor and minimize our need to act out of our fears and disconnected desires. In short, we learn where to pay attention and what to ignore (basically our conditioning). The second issue is to see that our behaviors, Feeling/Emotions and Thoughts are expressions of us, but are merely reflections and expression of our Creative Being. Ultimately, to accomplish this we need to let go of Thinking our Experiences are ours alone.

Our personality has and egoic component which initially is repressed in childhood. As part of our Growth process the repressed needs of our childhood emerge to support us in being materially successful in life. This Unconscious Growth process eventually becomes revealed to us as we rediscover our personality programming. Taking ownership of this programming means that we can stop demanding from others what is no longer appropriate for us. As a result we can become clearer about our Boundaries and no longer need to react when others are threatening us superficially. Our ability to be present under all circumstances is supported by our creative nature that helps us to optimize how to respond to our life circumstances. One of the first steps in becoming Conscious of our lessons is to detach ourselves from our programming that no longer serves us. We call this process Personality Detachment because is helps us to see that our outer patterns do not reflect who we are as a Creative Being.

By engaging Personality Detachment, we begin to recognize the difference between our higher creative nature and our lower Safety and Security framework, which can support us in knowing our higher truth. Our Defensive Identity reveals our lower Personal Truth, which has protected us from our mistakes when we where Unconscious. The question now is to be able to choose if we want to engage Consciously or Unconsciously with the situation. The Personality we are detaching from is the one that allowed us to operate in an Unconscious way and still survive and succeed. The more willing we are to transcend this protection framework, the more we will see in the moment the differences between what will keep us Safe and Secure and what will actually be the most creatively fulfilling thing to do. When we are detached on a Personality Level, we no longer are concerned about our Thoughts, Feelings or actions, and how we imagine others perceive them. Reactions occur because we have previously assigned our personality the job of notifying us when something may be wrong. Reactions typically do not provide us any time to consider other responses. In this way, our reactions are

Intellectually passive and operate in a subconscious way like automatic reflexes. Responses are, at the least, the result of an active affirmation of our Personality Self. When we react, our conditioning takes charge and we go into action based on our personality programming (provided by our parents’ training, or lack of it). Responses reflect a self-awareness of our internal dialog, which are the conversations we have within us reflecting different aspects of ourselves. Creatively inspired responses occur when we step beyond the internal dialog and learn to Trust our intuitive impulses. When this occurs, we can see and hear our personality concerns while simultaneously listening to our heart’s knowing and acting from our Creative Self awareness.

We shift our awareness from reactions to responses by first becoming aware of our internal dialog. The best way we have found to engage this dialog is to spend two to three days documenting what it is. Our suggestion is to have a notebook that we carry with us so we can write down hourly a sample of the inner conversation. When we have at least 20 pages of this dialog, we can then review the material and use color highlighters to identify the different aspects and give them names. It is powerful when we begin to see how consistent these inner voices are and how they are trying to protect us from aspects of our situation which they see that other aspects of our self do not. Until we can Consciously appreciate all the ways these aspects are protecting us, we cannot integrate them into our Conscious understanding.

Some individuals take this process a step further by journaling. When we spend at least an hour each week reflecting on our inner process and see the underlying Motives that come and go in our day-to-day Experience, it is very informative. The value of this is to have each of our aspects learn how to work together on common issues or problems. The more we can be the observer or creative integrator in this dialog, the easier it will be for us to bring together these separate aspects. Most importantly is integrating our inner Masculine and Feminine aspects so they can be more co-creative with each other. After six to nine months of this process, the journaling will shift from needing to listen to our sub-personalities (because in the past they did not feel seen or valued by each other), to integrating them based upon their Intentions. After a year or more, the personality framework will be integrated, allowing us to shift our Attention to our larger creative natures.

What are the three types of attachment that keep us stuck?

Physical Attachment: When we lose ourselves in our desire for sensory experience we become attached to our bodies without realizing that the body is an instrument of our divine expression. Appearances and self-image become more important because we are conscious only of how we see ourselves and how others see us. Key indicators are a desire for attention and feelings that we need to develop our reputation. This position most reflects the initial perspective of the Distant defense style. This is due to how the parents of Distant individuals sought perfection on the intellectual level believing that it was not real until it showed up in physical reality. The more we over emphasize “physicality” the more it ends up diminishing our inner senses, and produces an unhealthy dependence.

Unfortunately, our desire for comfort can lead us to diminish risk-taking and growth. The more we hanker for ways to expand the range of sensations we experience, the more it establishes us in a cycle where we don’t appreciate what we are experiencing in the moment. Almost all addictions have a sensory component where we are unable to distinguish what is appropriate versus what is inappropriate. Each one of these addictions is in some way a denial of our life energy. We believe that somehow we are going to get something better at the end of the process. Unfortunately, what the universe is trying to teach us is to be present in ourselves and not lose ourselves in habits, which deny our aliveness.

Emotional Attachment: When we seek to control our feeling states we become over-identified with our emotions. Sometimes this means that we appear overly intellectual to others because we hide and protect our feeling sensitivity. Key indicators are desires for adoration and a feeling that we need to develop our self-respect. This position most reflects Dynamic defense styles or the Control pretense because both fear open discussions where emotionally charged subjects can lead to unpredictable, unwanted decisions. Instead, emotional attachments over-emphasize safe, rational decision-making processes as a way to protect themselves from emotional change. Emotional attachments are not from feeling more powerful emotionally, but less powerful in the feeling arena. The more we resist our emotionality, and over emphasize our intellectuality to protect ourselves, the more our defenses run our lives.

We become overly emotional because we are unwilling to experience the full gamut of feelings in our life. By opening ourselves up to our sadness, our grief, our anger, our love and our aspiration and hope, we enrich the experiences that these arise in. We begin to see how all of our experiences are multi-dimensional and require us to have the full range of our feelings to support us in understanding them. This flies in the face of beliefs that somehow we are better off not having bad feelings. When we deny our feelings, we end up closing ourselves down to our intuitive knowing, which reduces our ability to find and identify our life work. The source of much of our illness arises from trying to control or manage our feelings. It is time to recognize that our feelings are a divine part of who we are.

Intellectual Attachment: When we doubt our ability to make a difference in the lives of those around us.  Our attempt to use our feelings to influence others hides deeper fears and over-identification (pre-occupation) with our thoughts. Key indicators are desires for admiration and the feeling that we need to better develop our self-esteem. This position most reflects the Disarming defense style and Romantic Mythology pretense in that we fear better intellectual arguments from others that could take the decision out of our hands. Intellectual attachments are not due to being more prepared, but fearing that we are not well prepared and therefore need more protection in this area. The more we resist our intellectuality, and over emphasize our emotionality to protect ourselves, the more our defenses run our lives.


The more our opinions have been denied in our childhood, the more we get attached to getting them heard now. What we don’t want to do now is be repressed like we were then. This keeps us stuck in a negative way of viewing ourselves intellectually as not being strong, which requires us to present ourselves as very strong. The same is true about our desire to prove to others how much better we are than they believe. The more we are attached to our image, particularly intellectually, as being strong, clear and coherent, the less we are these things. At the least, our image distracts us from our inner knowing. At the most, it allows us to create illusionary beliefs about what is going on in a situation, which are not true. Inhabiting an illusionary thought world requires us to be more attached to our thoughts to support us. We therefore don’t see thoughts as just one element of a larger picture. Instead, thoughts become the whole picture.


Personality Detachment is the process of learning how to listen to our personality concerns while recognizing that the personality is actually the servant of our Creative Self. As long as these sub-personalities are in disharmony, the personality believes that it has the pre-emptive right to define our life and direction. See diagram Taking a Stand for Personality Detachment. When these aspects are integrated in a way that allows them to operate with one voice, we have completed a major portion of our egoic development, and now are able to embark on a transpersonal Growth process. This shift from our personality to our Creative Self also happens in conjunction with the shift in focus from our Secondary Creative Expression (where Survival and Outer Success are predominant) to our Primary Creative Expression (where Creative Fulfillment becomes our main desire). Personality Detachment is the Experience of seeing the choices of our Creative Self as well as the needs of our Personality Self and integrate these in a holistic way.


Personality Detachment can be sabotaged by: 1) our Intellectual attachments, particularly by trying to get the Admiration of others; 2) attachments to our Emotions so that we can control our Feelings, particularly when we attempt to get the Adoration of others; or 3) physical attachments, particularly when we try to obtain and maintain the Attention of others because we do not pay Attention to ourselves. The more we become clear that we need to honor our Self to transcend these Conflicts, the less we will wait for others to validate us. It is ironic that our desire to be acknowledged by others is perceived by others to be selfish when in fact, it is honoring our selfishness that leads to validating our Self. Part of the requirements of Personality Detachment is to appropriately honor our personal requirements so we do not become entangled. Appropriate selfishness allows us to take care of our Self so we can continue to serve others. When we do not take care of our Self, we become ineffective martyrs that breakdown more than support the process.

The quality of Personality Detachment manifests asthe ability to discriminate between our higher creative expression and our need to survive and succeed in the world. While we all seek to guarantee our outer Survival and success, we need to find fulfillment in ways that do not compromise our Authentic Life Expression. With Personality Detachment, we create Experiences where our inner Alignment is a natural result of appropriately serving others who are our constituents. With this perspective, we can more easily take a stand to communicate our Truth, even if others do not appreciate it. Personality Detachment reflects the reality that we are a Creative Being, not just a mechanism programmed for Survival and success. The result of recognizing this is inner clarity about our true choices.

Operating with Personality Detachment means we are able to distinguish between our conditioning or defenses and our authentic contribution. Personality Detachment is a natural extension of Wisdom, where we create more space from the ‘Content information’ to see what motivates us. The separation of our information structure from our Intent allows us to go beyond our Instinctive and Intellectual frameworks. When transpersonal desire (where we are motivated by altruistic interests) supports us in transcending Personality Desire (where we are motivated by self interest) then Personality

Detachment is a reality in our life. With Personality Detachment we accept that our Instinctive attachment and defensive Intellectual positions may not represent our best choices. When we accept our natural creative nature, we open an intuitive doorway where new choices can emerge.We can transcend personality Survival and success issues when we focus on our higher inner knowing. When we accept our creative nature, we Experience how our being and inner knowing expands beyond our outer knowing. We individuate our Creative Self by affirming our choice to act beyond our Personality programming. The Experience of Personality Detachment is one where we Consciously Sacrifice the lesser for the higher. In this case we give up our superficial attachments and outer positions in order to Experience a new clarity. Unconscious Sacrifice (where we do things for others in order to get them to return the favor) or non-Sacrifice (where we are not willing to compromise our personality in any way to connect) tends to produce Inertia and denies any true Growth in the relationship. When we can see that our behavior, Feelings/Emotions or Thoughts are not serving the larger good, it becomes apparent that we could either continue to assert our selves on a personality level or transcend our conditioning and defensiveness and stop so we can listen to what is really going on. Personality Detachment is the ability to move forward even if it means sacrificing our temporary personal needs in service of a larger creative Connection.

Conscious Sacrifice is the virtue that arises when we fully honor the relationship skill of Personality Detachment. Conscious Sacrifice is the ability to choose new possibilities that we know will bring up internal Conflict for the purpose of reconnecting to our inner knowing. G. I. Gurdjieff was one of the best proponents of constantly changing outer support structures in order to increase inner Consciousness and self-understanding. By eliminating Habitual patterns, our Self is brought back on our creative Source, and able to regenerate itself. When we practice Conscious Sacrifice, we commit to our inner purity and clarity at the cost of outer comfort or the caretaking of others. A Conscious Sacrifice is one where we do not expect any external benefit and, instead, see it as an internal restructuring process that moves our Growth forward. An Unconscious Sacrifice is one where we try to build attachments to others by creating a sense of Safety and Security for them. Personality Detachment, where we release all attachments and positions, supports us in connecting to others entirely on a creative level.

How Do We Support Our Inner Experience of Being Connected to the World?

The practice of personality detachment requires that we reorient attention away from the fixation on outer sensory experiences towards recognizing that spending more time interpreting and digesting the experiences appropriately supports overall well-being. The objective is to change our attitude about the nature of sensory experiences in defining our reality. When we begin to investigate this we discover that most of our beliefs are actually created and reinforced by our defensive egoic, Personality. By taking a stand for our Creative nature, we see how our need to protect our Self was an illusion established by the Personality to empower it to do and relate to others as it wants. Personality detachment permits individuals to stand free because we learn how to seek nothing for the separated self (pretenses and defenses), which allows the universe to support us. 

Personality Detachment begins with separating our higher Creative Self from our lower Personality self. The rules of the Personality are simple, build our self-image, enhanced our Self perceptions of our greatness and make sure we maintain our Safety and Security under all costs. We can identify that we are operating from our personality when we follow this guidelines. It is ironic how   disconnected we are following our Personality proscriptions. It is a great way to do our unconscious growth but a terrible way to attempt to grow beyond our environment. As it uses fears, resentment and revenge as motivations it is all about the past. It creates no future and allows no true growth because it do not allows to consider choices that look dangerous or different.

Since the personality is part of the individuation process, it does assist us in creating natural personal boundaries. The experience of separation promotes the illusion that we need to get back what we lost earlier in life. As long as we are holding on to the past, it traps us in personality development. When we identify with our Personality Self it in effect denies our creative nature and the expression of our potential. Until we honor our creativity more than our defensiveness we do not possess the consciousness to be present simultaneously in our Soul and Personality. In a way, the separated defensive self is all our projections of what we think we need to survive and to succeed in the world that we really do not need. Sometimes it is even the ambition that we have to overcome the adversity in our past.

Usually, it is anchored in four ways:  in our body’s appearance, personality development, work identity and social identity. It is ironic that our separated Defensive self that we created to protect our self ends up consuming us. The more we get lost in our outer sensory experiences, the more we are unable to discern our creative nature from our fears and desires. We become our fears and desires because we have no-one guiding our growth process. As a result, we feel victimized by many of the circumstances that occur, believing that others are doing things to us. We do not realize that we are attracting these lessons, because we are not consciously engaging life. The more we identify with greed, lust and arrogance, the more we are unable to be present with ourselves. Instead, we are lost in our façade and keep doing more to get what we want without realizing that we don’t even need it. The emptiness is caused by our identification with our personality. Our personality was never designed to fulfill our dreams. It was designed to support our safety and security until we could take charge consciously of our own growth process.

What we are recommending is that we start listening to our inner senses to counterbalance our outer senses. The five internal spiritual senses are Vision, Inspiration, Foresight, Mediatorship and Healing. These reflect our higher creative being. We use these senses to offset and compliment touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight. One of the ways we begin this process is to see how we construct our reality in such a limited way, relying on our outer senses instead of our inner senses. This has the added benefit of focusing on our inner creative self so that we begin to align with aliveness, wisdom and awareness in a way that is transpersonal or beyond our normal everyday personality perspective.

Personality Detachment is a practice of doing things in moderation so that we don’t under saturate or over saturate our senses. When we over saturate we are drunk with sensations, feelings, emotions and thoughts. Unfortunately, we are unable to really experience the meaning behind these sensory experiences because of the overwhelming input we are receiving. It is ironic that the more we overdo our outer senses, the more we lose any connection with ourselves. This creates an under saturated experience to counterbalance the process. The problem is that we are swinging from one extreme to the other, not realizing that the optimum place is the middle, where we can be present with ourselves and with others.

The sweet spot is therefore the middle ground where all our senses, both inner and outer are active and available. The more we are attached to our outer senses, the more our fear and desire motivates us to act things out and get lost in the process of doing things to keep our sense of identity. We anchor our Self and our value by our body appearance, our sense of personality development, our work identity and our social status, not realizing that we made all these things up. These things aren’t bad. They are just not who we are. We are now going to discuss how self-acceptance, self-discovery, self-esteem and self-respect help us to neutralize these anchors so that we can start to appreciate how much our inner senses can help us in living a fully empowered life.

  1. Self-acceptance of who we are begins when we start realizing that we are not our outer body or form. Many of us are caught in the position of trying to avoid an association where either we like or don’t like our physical appearance. The more we can accept ourselves as we are and engage the possibility that we are perfect for what we need to experience, the easier it will be for us to enjoy our life. Inner discipline transforms confusion into clarity when we practice not getting lost in external experiences. The key is not to become over-identified with sensations such as pleasure and pain to the point where we don’t understand the lessons they provide. Much of our gender identity is constructed around our body image. When we let go of anchoring ourselves in our appearance, it opens up the door to experiencing ourselves as an energetic being. When we harbor beliefs that are antagonistic to our physical or energetic being, we in effect disconnect ourselves from the higher source of life. This results in our not being present with ourselves.

  2. Self Discovery encourages us to do personality development where we begin to experience ‘cause and effect’ reality. We begin the process by associating different emotional states with different people. People can either have positive or negative associations. We end up living in a world where we unconsciously attract all kinds of situations where we can experience change and new possibilities. Many of these experiences seem to be connected with things outside of us, which we constantly try to understand. Unfortunately, we are using the wrong sensory apparatus to figure this out. We keep thinking that our personalities can manage our lives without our creative guidance. Whenever we are frustrated we go into caretaking and other obnoxious habits where we lose ourselves in meaningless activity. Another favorite on the hit parade is feeling we can change others around us, even though they may be against this possibility.

 

The more we can see the humor in trying to manipulate our reality, the more we can start to let go of these habitual activities connect into our deeper creative nature. Inner serenity transforms anxiety into peace, which allows us to let go of attachments to feelings such as seeking acceptance or feelings of rejection. We do this to the point of not being present to what’s going on outside of us. Since we are projecting meanings onto our reality, we are not actually experiencing it directly. Another issue that comes up at this stage is the desire to avoid rejection at all costs, which also keeps us from being present with others. The underlying issue is seeking acceptance or avoiding rejection, which defines us in a way that is not creative and natural. The key self-discovery to make is that our perception of reality may be very different than the reality around us.

  1. Developing Self-Esteem helps us to anchor our work identity in a way where we feel we are contributing to others around us. For many of us, our work becomes a substitute for engaging life directly because it supports us in defining ourselves in terms of others at the cost of our creative well-being. Since our work identity is so defined by both our emotions and intellect, we try to develop ourselves by using our intellect to control our feelings. The more we pre-define ourselves by our thoughts about ourselves in work, the greater distortions we have in our contributions to others.

We end up doing things that make us feel good about what we are doing without connecting to how we really can be of service to others. Many times we confuse doing what others want us to do with doing what is best for the group. This occurs because we get preoccupied with our contribution and its value to others at the cost of seeing things objectively from a larger point of view. Inner compassion transforms doubt into acceptance and self-understanding, allowing us to let go of our attachments to thoughts that prevent us from knowing our inner truth. Being aware of our ability to distort our reality to enhance our contribution is the first step to neutralizing our attachments to our ambition and pride.

  1. Developing Self-Respect supports us in expanding our social identity so we know how to reach others as friends or family. What we are seeking is a way to get others attached to us so we won’t have to make so much effort in being attached to them. The more we use our higher skills to diminish the power of others to make their own choice, the more the universe sabotages our efforts. Instead, it is good to withdraw our attachment to a social identity because it actually interferes with our developing right relationships where the truth of others can be engaged. Meditation permits us to align the inner thinker, the mind and the physical brain so that we become full with spirit.

Our inner life is enriched and enhanced because we discover the power of our divine connection to others. This leads us to conclude that we are not the result of thoughts, behaviors and actions; nor are we the process by which we get there; rather, we are the being, thinker or doer that overshadows our life expression. It is time now to accept responsibility for creating our life as it is. By doing so, we start the process of seeing the connections in ourselves that are actually thwarting our conscious growth and expansion. This starts the process of dissolving the Defensive Identity we have created, that wants what it wants no matter what the cost. We call the combination of these lower fears and desires where we were identified with our personality as healing, the Dweller on the Threshold. This Dweller is actually our higher knowing coming to confront our previous misidentifications with lower form that kept us operating in unconscious ways.

The How Section

Personality detachment is the process of identifying with our higher creative source and seeing the differences between our being and our need for safety and security. Any fear or Personality Desire is actually not necessarily what we need to deal with right now because it probably reflects how we were denied or discounted in our past. The more we don’t have to react to every fear or desire, the more we are actually able to choose when to confront fears and desires so that we can experience our higher possibilities. When we look at things this way, we start to see that fears and desires anchor us in our lower sensory experiences. Creativity, on the other hand, actually anchors in our inner sensory experiences, which allows us to see the huge difference in results when we are able to separate these two from each other.

The problem is that the more these are confused, the more mixed results we have in our life. The challenge, should we choose to accept it, is to be able to determine what is in our higher interest, versus what is in our lower Personality interest. This doesn’t mean that we want to control our personality by cutting ourselves off from the personality needs, but rather to direct it in a way that it can fulfill its mission. This reflects the fact that we need the cooperation of our personality to fulfill our mission. The more we take extreme steps or

measures, the more likely our defenses are in the mix. Instead, we need to learn to read the subtle energetic indications that we are either attached or not attached to a particular outcome.
The more we are attached in a predefined way to a certain result, the more we tend to externalize our projections and disempower ourselves in manifesting it. The more we rely on outer senses, the more we are swept up in a process where we see no way but our personality’s way to get the job done. Consequently, we need to develop our inner senses to balance out our outer fixations so that we can see more clearly what is motivating our actions. The result of this process is that we will have more Spacious Presence, which is a fancy way of saying that we have space to make choices. The more space we experience, the more room we have to engage all the possibilities. The less space we experience, the more we do predefined actions that have mixed motives in them causing us to attract from the universe that which will sabotage our efforts.

What this requires initially is to have more passionate indifference about believing what the Personality tells us we need. Instead of allowing our fears to be predefined for us by the personality, let us learn how to engage our fears and have fun with them. Let us not be fearful that we cannot succeed just because things look difficult. Let us start to actually use our Vision, Inspiration, Foresight, Mediatorship and Healing powers to deal with our fears, in practical and effective ways. Simply said, we use these inner knowing skills to embrace what the fear represents, which a disconnection from our higher self. The more we can acknowledge fears in this way and take action despite our concerns, the more we will prove to ourselves that our fears are not what we thought. It is important to remember that our personality amplifies our fears in order to have control over us. The more we bust this illusion, the easier it will be for us to engage life directly.

This means we have to deal with the accumulation of our fears and desires and how we have organized them in a way that they could be overwhelming to us. The interesting point we want to make here is that if we could separate out different fears and desires, they would not be so overwhelming. It is how we are holding them as a body of obstacles, which actually makes it seem overwhelming. Breaking down these issues into different elements allows us to break out of the conditioned way we have responded to them. In this way, we learn how to dis-identify with our positions and our ambition to transcend these issues so that we are able to be present. The Dweller on the Threshold is us confronting the combination of these patterns and projections. It is ironic that the more bust our personality delusions, the more we can start to see how others are caught in the same trap. We come to realize that once we have busted out for ourselves, we still have to deal with the projections of others and help them confront their Dweller on the Threshold.

When we have busted out and can see the differences between our outer presentation and our inner well being, we are no longer entranced by our image of ourselves. Instead, our affirmation of ourselves comes from within and is not based on people around us. This provides greater freedom to act in ways that would be the best for everyone around us. Our wholeness and unity thinking starts to wake others up so we continually attract people who are willing to confront their inner demons and realize that they are more than that. By anchoring ourselves in our inner Vision, Inspiration, Foresight, Mediatorship and Healing powers, we create an inner reality that will supersede our outer defensive identity. One of our assumptions is that the greater creative and spiritual insight we have about ourselves,

the more effective we will be in our life. Stepping across the threshold to embrace our inner powers is the first major step we take in living a fully conscious life.
Vision arises when we are not overly attached to our outer senses. The more we release ourselves from our attachments to sensations, feelings/emotions and thoughts the more able we are to channel energy through us so that our connection to the universe is more correct. Vision is one of the powers that arise through our connection. We, in effect, become agents of universal will. We freely choose to engage this process because it is not only in our best interest, but also the best interest of everyone around us. For many people, the power of vision arises through Electric Fire. The experience “eureka! I found it!” is really us finding out that we know everything that we need to at every step of the process. It is actually us finding ourselves underneath our training and beliefs about what we need to know to be successful. It is interesting to note that unless we construct scenarios in our lives where we have to be bigger than what we were, we never consciously grapple with our ability to see and know things directly. Vision, therefore, is part of our straight knowing, which transcend our concrete mind because it comes from a higher source.

Inspiration is another power that arises when we are connected to the universe. Inspiration arises because we are dissatisfied with our outer reality. It is the rejection of our previous interpretations of reality which reorients us to new ways of connecting and thinking that we end up aspiring to a different way of being, one where we are not limited to our outer attachments and beliefs about how things work, one that comes from our inner knowing about our power to create our own reality. Inspiration is that power where we realize who we are as a creative being.

Foresight arises because we can see the immediate future clearer when we are not defining ourselves in terms of our safety and security desires. It is our defensive identity that needs habits, beliefs and personal motivations to maintain its reality. By being attached to what we do, we lose our ability to focus on our inner knowing and we can’t predict effectively the outcome of things around us. Foresight allows us to break through our cause-effect associations and realize that we are the source of all our activities. The more balanced and whole we are, the more we can prevent negative experiences from occurring, first because we can predict them, and second because we realize we don’t have to interpret them in a way that creates problems.

Foresight is therefore based on interpreting reality in a way that gives us the maximum growth opportunity. We can look at a circumstance as the glass is half empty or we can see that it is half full, both of which do not recognize that we are neither full nor empty, but rather a state in between. Our being is that middle ground where everything has a “suchness” quality that allows us to define ourselves as a being in process. Foresight allows us to accept that our process is transitional and we can choose to avoid certain circumstances or not based on where we are going.

Mediatorship is the power to bring things together and connect things that were apparently separate. It requires us to be able to engage paradox to be effective mediators in many environments. The more people need positions to anchor their reality, the more they are attached to their personalities at the cost of their creative essence. Effective mediators do not try to predefine the choice of others, instead they try to engage others where they are and provide clear reflections so that others can make choices that are more aligned with where they want to go. In this process people come to realize that they have a choice to live in a higher more creative reality or a lower more desolate and demeaning way of operating. The choice to cooperate and to learn with others about who we are is the reason that eventually people will come into alignment with each other. Mediatorship is the honoring of this integration process with people so that we can get aligned with what is the larger possibility around us.

Healing Powers are the natural result of soul connection. The more we are connected to the universe, the more we become a conduit that can respond to what is needed with what is needed. Illness is merely the result of us not being aligned to the higher possibility. It is a dissonance in our creative energy, which is keeping us from seeking the higher possibility. The purpose of all Healing is to realize our Oneness, both within ourselves and with others. As a creative being, our responsibility is to facilitate the larger life, light and love energies around us.

These are the three energies that are used to do Healing.

Interestingly enough, each one can be sabotaged by a different attachment. The more we are physically attached by constantly performing certain habits and behaviors to maximize our pleasure, the more we are subverting and/or denying our life energy. Our constant repetition of activities doesn’t help us with our aliveness. In fact, it makes it impossible to be naturally alive. Our light energy can be covered up by our intellectual attachments. The more we think we know, the less we actually know. Our attachment to thoughts and our ownership of thoughts results in beliefs that reduce our Wisdom. Sometimes we even prostitute our intuition to serve our beliefs, which further confuses our light energy. The more we are attached to certain feeling states, the more these emotional attachments or motivations reduce our ability to love others or ourselves. Instead, we objectify ourselves by thinking there is something we have to do to deserve love. Healing energy helps us to clear out these attachments and see and be able to be with our inner truth. More about this when we deal with Intuitive Discrimination.

One way to clarify what is real for what is not is to see if we can sacrifice our perceived needs for it and be effective in our contribution. Many are so attached to what they believe they need, that they are unwilling to consider letting go of an attachment. Usually this indicates a present or future addiction. Conscious Sacrifice requires letting go of an issue as a way to learn from it. To be a Conscious Sacrifice, it needs to be for our Self not in order to get the attention and approval of others. Unconscious Sacrifice is giving our Self away, believing we are selfish if we take what we need before contributing to others. The most difficult problem is the confusion about what is in our highest interest, and what is not. With Conscious Sacrifice we discover our authentic boundaries and truth.

What are the Benefits of Personality Detachment?

1.   Increased Autonomy – When a person frees themselves from the habits of physical, emotional or mental reactivity that occur with self-identification of pretenses or defenses they transform their inner knowing of themselves, their gifts and their contributions towards others. Greater inner equilibrium increases the ability to be with others while simultaneously holding our creative power in high regard. Personality detachment supports us in seeing and honoring the inter-dependent nature of Autonomy where the ability to be more of ourselves increases other people’s ability to be more of themselves.

2.   Increased Awareness about Energetic States – Personality Detachment increases the perspective that enables us to differentiate our own inner energetic states from the inner energetic states of others. Overall, when we do not get lost in the personality issues of others, we are free to engage them when and where appropriate.

3.   Less Compromiseand Confusion – Compromises come from the acceptance of the false power of pretenses and defenses. Compromise is a giving up of spirit, a denial of our creative nature, and acceptance of entanglement as a primary state of being with others. Personality detachment empowers us to see and acknowledge potential areas where compromise may appear.

4.  Reduction of Personality Desires – Desires arise from feelings of incompleteness or non-appreciation of our wholeness. Instead, our personality desires come from the point of view that we are not complete nor will we ever be complete. As a result, we try to possess everything so that we become satiated in the objects of our desire. Unfortunately, we lose our consciousness in this activity and it ends up ironically making us feel we need more when, in fact, it is never enough. While desire itself is not bad, over identification with personality desire handicaps us from receiving anything. When we believe our personality desires are outside of us, we create polarizations that keep us from what we want. Personality Detachment supports the recognition that over-attachment or denial are two extremes that prevent us from accepting the possibility of alignment and our own power. It’s our consciousness of who we are in our spirit nature that automatically attracts what is appropriate for us.

5.   Reduction of Fear – Fears arise from a disconnection or a discounting of our spiritual or creative source. The more we see ourselves as an agent of the universe, the more we are naturally connected to everything we need exactly when we need it. Over identification with fears or denial of our fears increases their reality and draws them to us. Personality detachment permits us to see where we are out of balance and that we are not our fears.

6.  Ability to See People Clearly Where They Are – When we are not attached to protecting our Self and our own image, we can be playful and available to respond to others in ways that break their conditioning. Along the way, we realize how Personality Differences or Uncomfortable Similarities don’t have a hold on us the way they used to. The more we get into Personality Detachment, the more capable we feel of doing things that serve the larger interest of those around us than to just optimize our own self-interest.

What Is The Cost Of Not Honoring Creative Spirit Over Appearances?

Feeling Stuck, Reactive, Not Knowing What To Do: Confusion over boundaries, ownership issues and personal responsibility generates a disconnect or impasse that prevents us from growing and moving forward. Personality Integration allows us to reconnect ourselves to spirit, allowing us to hear our inner voice and receive guidance and support.

Separation from Others: When people are over reacting to thoughts, feelings, and sensations they are not able to be fully present with others increasing the sense of isolation, despair and loneliness.

Entangled Relationships: With Personality Detachment, individuals can transform excitement and intensity into conscious connections where enthusiasm prevails. Otherwise, compromise, pain and hopelessness are indicators that we are lost in relationships where our truth cannot be heard, where intentions are misunderstood and where our being is not accepted.


Background Reading

Personality Detachment can be tough for some of us because we are so used to habitual responses. We use the roles of our history as substitutes for real experience in the moment. We fall into unconscious patterns of operating more easily than we realize. The key to solving this dilemma is to slow down our process so we can begin to see and unpack the patterns where we lose ourselves in our sensations, feelings/emotions and/or thoughts. For a while, this process is just about letting go and disassociating from the sensations, feelings/emotions and thoughts that reduce our consciousness. Initially, it may feel that we are doing the opposite of what we need to do to heal ourselves. This is an indication that we are on the right track.

Any process that allows us to experience things anew is healthy in this situation because it changes the dynamics that we naturally fall into. Wherever we are denying something, it is time to investigate and spend more time being with the thing we are denying. Whatever we are avoiding, it is time to actually embrace, even if it feels silly or stupid, it is important for us to release our attachment to our past by being with it in the present moment. The important thing to remember is not to get over-saturated where we lose ourselves in the process. If this means, taking smaller sips of the experience, so be it. What we don’t want to do is become drunk on the experience and lose ourselves in the process. For a while, this may take slowing down the processes so we can appreciate what really is the truth of our own experience. Personality Detachment allows us to start to disassociate with our standard ways of going unconscious. When we identify these patterns, it becomes easier for us to create space and to recover a choice that we were denying ourselves.

For a while, we will feel like we are denying ourselves more than we are accepting ourselves. This is natural. The paradox is that we have to get in balance with our own experience so that we are able to be present more with the unprocessed part of our past experience. The more we see how we have overwhelmed ourselves by taking on too much at one time which counterbalanced times when we disassociated from others completely to give us time to process some things, the more we will start to come into balance within ourselves. Remember, the goal is not to over do or under do, but to constantly embrace our experience and if possible, to process a little bit on our past. It may also be important to embrace the possibility that we can’t do it all immediately. Sometimes we need a vacation from processing and it is good to give ourselves a break. When we are really ready to engage the next element, we can. Overall, what we are doing is gradually recovering our


sense of power to choose what we want to experience in the way that would be most beneficial to others and us.

The more we can consciously engage things in moderation, the more space we will have to actually process through what they mean. The more we are able to be fully present on all levels in an experience, the more space we will experience with it. This inner experience of space will allow us to have a reserve in case of some traumatizing experience occurs. This means that we won’t automatically get lost in experiences that in the past would have encouraged us to go unconscious. One of the benefits of doing Personality Detachment is to develop an ability to respond to a situation in a way that honors who we are in the moment. Individuals who do not have any Personality Detachment automatically become reactive and end up losing themselves, which ends up creating more stuff for them to process later. We can either learn to process it in the moment or we can end up being submerged by it over time. The more we are overwhelmed by our experiences, the more naturally we will learn to tolerate this process and actually encourage it over time. You only have to look at some of our parents for an example of how effectively they are able to discount their current reality in many ways.

We create Spacious Presence by releasing the safety and security beliefs adopted by our culture and family. We use these old beliefs to keep us distracted and compromised, and to avoid having to integrate our thoughts, feelings, and actions in the moment. When people are unconscious, they use their beliefs to anchor their idea of who they are, at the cost of being present with what’s going on around them. What makes beliefs self-destructive is how they deny our inner power and creativity. Fear and personality desire are the main sources of the appeal of the old beliefs, the central premise being that we need to band together to protect ourselves from the obvious “bad things” in the world.

A good example is how many of us blame the “terrorists” for our anxiety and concern for our safety. This does not mean that the terrorists are not real, but it does mean that we do not need to take on the mass hysteria and fear that prevails. Instead, we could recognize that we create our reality through our thoughts, feelings and fears. The more we buy into the fears of others, the more we give our power away. The solution is to empower and identify with the creative source within us. By doing this, we separate ourselves from the perception that we need pain and misery to learn our lessons.

Personality Detachment is the skill we use to create Spacious Presence. When we are able to focus on being our higher Creative Self, we let go of our Safety and Security programming. Spacious Presence arises when we are no longer identified with our past fears and personality desires. Instead of holding on to these issues, we need to learn how to create our own safety and security by taking ownership of our reality. This requires that we honor our inner truth and learn to contribute to others, confident that we have a choice about what we attract into our lives. We make this choice by reinforcing either our personality attachments or by affirming our creative nature, depending on our level of consciousness. This occurs first individually, and then collectively. It must begin within us before we can express it in the world.

The first step in Personality Detachment is to question everything motivated by fear or personality desire in our personal lives. Simply stated, this requires us to identify our attachments to see if they are serving us, or reinforcing our conditioning to take care others. These attachments are mainly to Safety and Security issues, but could also be habits, (backed up by imprinting), emotions, (backed up by motivations for a simpler life), or thoughts, (backed up by need to prove our importance). All attachments diminish our ability to be creatively present. The more we take our attachments seriously, the more reactive and non-present we are. Attachments are inherently unsuccessful in authentically protecting or supporting us. The more we become conscious about how much of our energy and activity is consumed by attachments, the quicker we will release ourselves from living under the tyranny of our conditioning.

The second step in Personality Detachment is to challenge the assumptions and expectations of others, particularly when they demand that we interact in a pre-defined way. Learning to make our own choice about what is appropriate for us is part of growing up. Until we can independently choose to engage others, they will not respect us. More importantly, we will not trust ourselves to make the tough choices that seem outwardly to threaten our Safety and Security. What making these choices will accomplish is getting us out of relationship situations or work environments where our truth cannot be told or heard.

When others expect us to flatter them by imitation, acknowledge them at the cost of our truth, or conform to their beliefs or logic, they actually indicate how their parents compromised them. However they were repressed, they now seek to even the score by diminishing the outer power of others. Sadly, this is likely the only way they know how to connect with others. Do we want to carry this tradition on? We can break free of the compromises of the past by making a conscious choice to empower our own knowing, rather than deferring to others. Initially, we must separate ourselves from the truth of others until we know how to put it in the “proper perspective”. We can accomplish this by acknowledging the truth of others while holding our own truth equally. The more we see that we have nothing to prove, the easier it is to find non-compromised ways to work together.

The third and last step in Personality Detachment is to see how our past lessons and wounds do not need to reflect our future reality. The more we are attached to our past, the more we unconsciously define ourselves in terms of the problems of the past, making it difficult to use our new skills. Carrying around the baggage of the past interferes with our ability to be present in the moment. It also colors our motivations, by making the issues of our past live on in our present experience. It is best to forgive ourselves and release our anger, fear and revenge so we are not sabotaging our ability to create the future we envision. Letting go of our need to protect ourselves can be greatly facilitated if we can find a way to trust the universe to provide what we need.

One of the easiest ways to transform past hurts and wounds is to find the positive lessons in each of these experiences. The more we can neutralize our fear that these problems will reoccur, the more successful we will be in creating a different future. The more we complain about or focus on these past the problems, the more likely we are to create them in the future. Personality Detachment begins with neutralizing the negative affects of incomplete lessons by making our choices more apparent. We can begin this process by realizing that every experience, even the ones we feel have been negative; have a positive gift for us in them. We can neutralize the perceived negativity most effectively by acknowledging those gifts. The more we own and embody our lessons, the less we will be blindsided by our attempts to protect ourselves in unconscious ways. We can use our awareness of our fears and attachments to scrutinize anything that appears out of balance. With insight, these distortions will reveal our unconscious compromises, in which we have denied our creative power.

We will know we are being successful with this process by the Inner Spaciousness and peace we create within ourselves. When we cease to be motivated to fix others and instead accept and see others where they are, our reactiveness will disappear. Instead of relating to others through our cloud of ideas about them, we can be present with them. We are no longer intimidated or scared that the beliefs of others will lead us to compromise ourselves again. We recover our freedom to be ourselves and realize that it is only ourselves that can put us back in the prison of creative denial. This inspires us to take responsibility for creating our future in a way that uplifts and empowers us to make an authentic contribution.

Evocation: I declare that I will honor my inner space and accept the possibility that I am the source of my actions, not the effect of my actions. I declare my commitment to detach from situations where my senses unconsciously drive me forward. I will seek to transform my physical attachments to sensation into situations where the sensation is separated from the experience. I will seek to transform my emotional attachments into feelings that are separate from the actual experience. I will seek to transform my intellectual attachments where my thoughts are separate from the experience. Separating these will allow me to be reflective and conscious of them. This process allows me to choose how to construct and modulate the various aspects and empowers me to customize my experience. Personality Detachment, therefore, permits me to escape from the tyranny of mass consciousness where behaviors are expected to be uniform.

Personality Detachment Meditation

As we stand here, allow yourself to get centered in your body. Let us all take a deep breath, connecting in to your heartbeat and allowing yourself to come to that place of inner relaxation within you. Let go of all the tension in your body as you find that place of perfect balance within you. If you find an area of your body that is not feeling fully connected, take a moment to stretch the muscles of your body in that area, releasing any tension so you can be fully at ease. Feel the magnificence of your creative being in your heart. It is time to seek the light within us and become clearer about what is true in our heart. For some of us, this is process will naturally lead us to embody and speak our truth moving our energy into our throat. Imagine our attachments to the old way of being dropping away, level by level.

It is time now to put your attention on your throat. Imagine in your throat a cool blue light that softly grows. Consider this center a higher creative source. Perhaps you could imagine this as a creative center without any attachments to safety or security issues. In other words, it is a personal creative center that is free and open. For some of us it can be a center where we can tell the truth without worry, for others it is a place where we are accepted just as we are. For a moment, consider the creative power of your voice. Follow me and say, “I AM that I AM.” Notice how your voice projects your creative energy as you talk. Let’s say again, “ I AM that I AM.” Observe if you have any blockages or places in you that do not resonate when you say, “I AM that I AM.” Let do this process one more time and imagine that it is your higher creative essence speaking and your body aligning when we say together, “I AM that I AM.” We call this center the anchor point for our soul because it gives voice to our creative being.

When you identify with your creative energy in your throat it can operate beyond your survival and success programming because it no longer needs to protect anything. It is responsive only to its higher nature or integrity. It is a place of limitless choices. Your throat is supported by your heart with its intuition. The throat center has a large space where relationships are clarified and enhanced. Take a moment to link in to this spot and feel a sense of connection with all that exists. Initially this chakra is closed when our hearts are closed and defensive. This center opens up as we trust our hearts knowing and seek to serve others. As you take ownership of this creative energy, it draws other to you that can assist your in your life work. The way to open up faster is to speak harmlessly with respect and esteem. This open throat space can become a place of detachment, where we learn not to over-personalize anything.

In this way you can see the higher opportunities in everything that occurs around you. Imagine using your detachment skills to find creative ways to be with others without triggering their safety and security concerns. Consider the possibility that in this center with the heart, can become a link to aligning with others to produce synergy. Let us begin by practicing how to support our personality by anchoring our detachment in our solar plexus. From the throat, imagine pouring this energy of blue detachment past your heart and into your solar plexus. See this blue energy supporting and refining the yellow energy of the solar plexus so it is more robust and stronger.

Continue to see this energy from the throat pour down and release all the attachments we have to our survival and success programming. Perhaps we can feel this as helping to clarify the real purpose of our solar plexus, which is to manifest our highest creative expression. Allow yourself to release all your fears and attachments to the way our personality has accomplished this in the past. One way of visualizing this is to see that now we are a creative conscious being that no longer needs training wheels. Instead imagine that our lower personal will can be supported by our higher will by making this connection from our throat to our solar plexus. Consider that this may be the way to let go of attempting to control your reality and see ways now to be creative so that we won’t need to control it.
The more we can take charge and own that we are aligned with the creative power of our throat, and imagine cycling the energy from our throat down to our solar plexus and transforming our safety and security concerns, then the less we will be reactive in our day to day lives. Imagine now completing the process by honoring how your personality has served you in the past. Consider now that it is time to take conscious direct charge of our day to day well being and direction. Consider listening to your own voice and recognize when your voice is in alignment with your entire being so that you can heed it when it is appropriate. It is time now to declare, “I AM who I AM”, recognizing that you are sounding forth your note that signals your conscious cooperation with your souls intent. Let us go forth and be who we are.

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