Mutual Learning | HA events

Mutual Learning

Lesson 10: Owning Our Contribution


Mutual Learning enables us to integrate our experience with others. Ironically, when we are bonded we can internalize this experience as both personal and transpersonal. This is because we have a self-reflective partner who can help us illuminate the differences and similarities between both of our perspectives. Mutual Learning is a process of building insights together to create a larger picture. It is an accelerated way of learning because when we are in alignment with an individual doing this with us, our energetic exchanges increase our assimilation. It is easy to notice when we do not have this connection. When our partners take Unilateral Action without consulting us it cuts us off from being able to support them. In this case, we do not sync up, we cannot seem to get in alignment and we keep out of balance in our perceptions of what is going on in the moment. The result is that we step on the other’s discoveries and minimize our joint authorship.

Mutual Learning is really a state of being responsive to Universal Intent. To initiate a Mutual Learning process we need to engage in a co-authoring manner. This means we need to be 100% committed for the entire process, without taking any ownership of the final result. Otherwise, we get drawn into power struggles where taking credit discounts our partner’s contribution. Mutual Learning engages Playfulness and Paradox to effectively create solutions not immediately apparent.  Our authorship needs to be open-ended so we can explore a number of ways to solve a problem. Usually, the process needs to go through several generations with different insights from both partners helping it to evolve. This is why we experience a state of Mutual Accomplishment and Aliveness.

Owning Our Contribution requires that Mutual Accomplishment is possible, that the group of individuals we are working with want to be Alive and Conscious for the process and Mutual Learning is a Skill that the group can engage. We have now entered a level of Connection where working with others is the best way to facilitate our development.  The reason this is true, is that we have fundamentally completed our personality lessons, so the only lessons remaining, are those dealing with making a more clear and sustainable life contribution. Some people would call this shift moving from operating as either an Actor, Performer or Dreamer, to being a creative contributor that can go beyond our own history. The capacity to engage a group wanting to make a common contribution is greatly facilitated by a sense of Aliveness and connectedness between the people in the group. This occurs when others can listen and respond and make the adjustments necessary to serve the larger possibilities the group represents. At this stage of development any ExcitementIntensity or Anxiety is an uncommon aberration that goes against our basic Experience. This Experience what is focused on is using our Life Energy to bond with others for a common outcome or goal.

Please remember from our previous discussion, that the goal is really just a placeholder that indicates the direction we are going. In actual Experience we learned to make steps toward the process that further refines and clarifies what is needed. This is how the Universe works with us to build out its internal plan or vision. The key to Mutual Accomplishment is that we automatically are Co-Measuring our development process. This means we are actually making trade offs of who is doing what and where and how, in a way that reflects what we encounter as we engage it. In the discovery of how to work together there is Mutual Learning as well. Mutual Learning helps us to build a stronger foundation of how to best work with each other. We continue to refine our interactions and development building greater capacity into the way we serve the world. This process is greatly facilitated because everyone is engaged and willing to grow. It is our co-measured interconnection with others that provides the guidance and support needed for Growth. Owning our Authentic Life Expression means recognizing how we are interdependent with our constituency. Ultimately, it is our enthusiasm and Joy in doing things together that confirms we are working in Alignment with Universal Intent.

Owning Our Contribution is not difficult if we are not idealizing it. What we need to do is make it a practical daily expression of our being. The more we are grounded in our in the moment Experience, the more it will transfigure our view of our world and ourselves. Operating at this level also means that we have reached a degree of self-actualization where we are not worried about the future or concerned about a particular goal. Instead, our complete Joy and satisfaction comes from our in the moment Joy of being our contribution. The more we evolve, the more we attract people who are evolving in the same way.  It is our internal congruence that helps us to confidently engage whatever shows up, recognizing that it will lead us deeper into the fulfillment of our mission. Participating in a group in this manner is profoundly healing, because any group operating consciously at this level is creatively potent and powerful. As a result, we will begin to see changes in our world that reflect people honoring and valuing their own innate creative contributions.

Mutual Accomplishment

Mutual Accomplishment is a state of being where we create our own Security through a Co-Measured solution, where Mutual Esteem, Cooperation and Thought Unity produce Synergy. Mutual Accomplishment reflects a degree of Intimacy that comes from cooperating in fulfilling a larger purpose. With Mutual Accomplishment we discover our goal-fitness for any task and Paradoxically discover that we do not have to fulfill any goal in order to manifest our contribution. It is enough to be part of a larger process and to respond to circumstances so that our goal expands to fit the universal need of the moment. This is also true regarding how our ideas blend and compliment each other to build a larger, more fulfilled vision. With Mutual Accomplishment there comes a natural Co-Measurement where each participant determines, as part of their Connection to the Universe, their optimum contribution to the situation. When all participants are doing this, they create a harmony and bliss that is beyond typical companionship Experiences. To maintain a state of Mutual Accomplishment we need to maintain personal Security within ourselves. This means we need to learn to Trust that the future will provide what is needed. We realize in the Experience of Alignment with others how we generate a synergy that can exceed our perceptions of previous, self-imposed ceilings. Thus, everything is taken care of and provided.

Everyone is now invited to operate in a more unified manner. Mutual Accomplishment is the most inclusive Masculine expression and it occurs only when we Experience a Unity with our contribution so our Creative Self fully emerges. For most of us this means that we have had the opportunity to imagine concentrating on an area of contribution that brings out the best in us. When we accept and honor our natural contribution, we can more easily align with others in a way that produces a synergistic Experience. This requires the ability to assess our creative differences and similarities so we can effectively identify who can best perform any part of the activity at any particular time. Co-Measurement is the unifying capacity to dynamically imagine responding to the needs and circumstances of the moment. It occurs when we are no longer attached to being seen and valued by others and are not fearful that we will be overwhelmed in the process of bringing the solution together. This reflects that we are operating with the perspective that the goal is to function together effectively as a team. While we may have a specific outcome in mind, the process is more important than the result. With Mutual Accomplishment, we are able to adapt to the circumstances and we may implement an effective solution as a result of our creative discovery.

Mutual Accomplishment expands as we learn to see the natural gifts of our Partners and can honor these gifts in a way that transcends their current understanding of their talent. Imagine that each individual has an authentic contribution or “a custom goal-fitted opportunity to shine” that empowers him or her to take maximum risks to explore their potential. Let us acknowledge and honor the gifts of others as a means to see and accept our own gifts. Imagine sharing with others what qualities of being show up when they are around. This usually does not what they are externally doing, but what processes and creative insights emerge when they are present. Can we identify the inherent value of each person that shows up in our life? Mutual Accomplishment is the desire to see these qualities and connect with them as method to be more conscious of our creative nature. We know we have reached a place of Unity when we have eliminated the need to acknowledge each other for our mutual endeavor. Let us enjoy the power that emerges when we Consciously engage mutual problems and are able to manifest clear solutions.

The three belief structures of Romance, Motives, and Love lose their power whenever we are present and able to operate from our creative nature. See Diagram: “Mutual AccomplishmentBeliefs”.Beliefs only support and reinforce personality concerns. Beliefs are primarily used to offset Safety Fears and in this way provide a form of artificial reassurance. Mutual Accomplishment reflects the degree to which we have embodied our Masculine side. Our Experience of our masculinity initially evolves from not knowing our Truth, but acting as if we do (Arrogance), to higher forms of self-knowing. Mutual Accomplishment is where we are able to incorporate the knowing, ideas, and Beliefs of others into a larger creative process. For most of us, this requires that we let go of our attachments to our Thoughts and start to appreciate how Thoughts are Universal in nature. We can observe how the “possession” of Thoughts actually inhibits the full expression of our Masculine power. This Experience is reflected in concrete ways when we operate in Personal Achievement and abstract ways when we operate in Idealized Unity.

The lower Masculine Motives all reflect obstacles to developing the maturity needed to be present with others and their Thoughts without being repelled or attached. It reflects the development of a Wisdom where any Thought can be considered and we can Experience how Thoughts can build a Conscious future that works for all. When we are open and available in this way, we Experience greater Unity Thinking. Unity Thinking is an inclusive way to embrace different Thoughts using Paradox to connect them in ways previously unimagined. It is this perspective that every Thought has an appropriate contribution to make when it is aligned with Thoughts that are congruent to it. Unity Thinking reflects that we no longer need to assert who we are based on identification with our own Thoughts. This means we have evolved to the point where our being is larger than the Thoughts we are currently having. Being in Mutual Accomplishment requires us to appreciate the Thoughts of others even when they appear to be in Conflict with the existing process.

Being unattached to our Thoughts permits us to see which Thoughts are supportive and which are not. It is critical that we do not get attached to our Judgments about what is best, but allows a consensus viewpoint to emerge through consultation with others. In most situations, waiting for this group Alignment requires not being driven by our Fears to act out lower Motives.

Our ability to be patient and compassionate to others involved in the process is critical to Mutual Accomplishment. We can validate the occurrence of Mutual Accomplishment when things are flowing and in Alignment with our stated Intentions. Whenever there is a mismatch between our Intention and the results, it reflects that lower Motives interfered with the process. With Mutual Accomplishment, we need to learn to wait for this unifying Experience. This state is transpersonal in nature and by honoring everyone involved, it will have a much more positive effect on the world.

Alignment is experienced when every aspect of the process is acknowledged and held in a common Context. One of the most effective ways to sabotage this process is for an individual to try to impose their goal or objective on people around them. This happens Unconsciously when we operate from a motive of Arrogance; Semi-consciously when we operate from a motive of Personal Achievement; and Consciously when we operate from a motive of Idealized Unity. Unfortunately, we often do not know which motive we are operating from until we see how others react to what we say. Any time there is a reaction, it indicates we are likely to be operating from a lower motive. This is an opportunity to shift from a lower motive to a higher one if we can see the benefit of creating a cooperative solution.

Any time we assert our ideas on others around us, it creates a reaction that sabotages our apparent Intention. Mutual Accomplishment is the process of managing time and space so we can come into a larger transpersonal Alignment before action is taken. It requires that we investigate reactions and use them to reveal the Fears underlying the process so that Life Energy can be directed in fulfilling ways. When we are committed to Mutual Accomplishment, we express our Truth in a Common Neutral Ground. Engaging our Thoughts consciously supports others and speaking their Truth so our reactions (because we react to their reactions, too) can be aired and dissipated. The more we are able to discover our deeper Truths together, the more our process can have a positive effect on those participating. Taking a stand for Mutual Accomplishment means recognizing that the path of Cooperation is much more fulfilling than the path of adversity, opposition, or denial.

It is through the Experience of Creative Awareness, where we see and honor differences and uncomfortable similarities, that we can be effective facilitators of the process. The “magic juice” that permits mutual Growth and understanding is an Appreciation of differences and how they could be supportive to the process rather than obstacles to it. Our ability to reframe differences from problems to opportunities is the first step in bringing out our common resourcefulness because we can view everything that arises as part of the solution. As long as we take the time to be with our Fears and the Fears of our Partners, it will transmute these apparent disconnections into a larger Unity that will manifest much more quickly than it could via any other process. With Mutual Accomplishment, we need to see the value of having a Pregnant Duration that will allow energetic Alignment to take place. When we are operating with this degree of Consciousness, our ability to manifest our Intent will occur more quickly.

We need to avoid projecting our own Beliefs or expectations on others so that the process can unfold gracefully.Each individual has a natural, authentic contribution that cannot be imposed upon him or her, but must be a response to a larger possibility they wish to engage. The more conscious we are, the more we recognize what is “goal-fitting” for us to engage. In other words, we come to see and accept what is naturally in our path versus what distracts us from our larger contribution. Embodying our Masculine nature means recognizing our current limitations and being truthful about our capacity to contribute in various situations. Some opportunities provide us the capacity to go beyond our self-perceived limitations. This is how we expand our “goal-fitness”. Paradoxically, it is only by honoring our current capacity that we can expand our ability to meet others where they are. Discovering this inner Balance is what makes us able to more effectively contribute to the world.

Direct engagement of others stimulates them to show up more authentically. In this way, leaning into the process of finding more expansive ways to contribute invokes in others the capacity to more fully engage the process. Our increasing goal fitness evokes greater goal-fitting in others around us. This is the essence of Mutual Accomplishment. It permits us to recognize what is working and what is not and to discover how to Balance the various contributions of others in a way that produces synergy.

Mutual Accomplishment naturally deepens our Experience so we move from a superficial Unity to a deep Appreciation of our diversity. This enrichment process only occurs if we are willing to operate in a space of mutual learning and discovery. Can we let go of what our past knowing is to embrace our current knowing in a larger way? This is the dilemma we face on the path of Masculine embodiment. Every repulsion, reaction, and Experience can be grist for the mill of our coming into a more fulfilling way of being. While our history reflects what we have learned in the past, these past Experiences may limit our Appreciation of where we are currently and where we are going. In this way, we need to find an inner Balance that supports engaging the present in a way so that the past is not a burden that limits our current participation. Limited Masculine expressions focus on our track record as a way of validating our current level of self-Esteem. In Mutual Accomplishment, our personal concern about self-Esteem is translated into an Appreciation for supporting mutual Esteem. It is not only important for us to see how our contribution enhances the current outcome, but also how everyone is served in the process.

Co-Measurement is the ability to see in which activities we could make best contribution, while at the same time flexibility honoring other’s natural gifts. It reflects a cooperative way of seeing how our contributions would naturally empower a greater expression of power by the group. In effect, we are building everyone’s ability to contribute more. One of the best indicators of this is mutual Esteem, where our generosity of spirit keeps us examining how best to serve the larger group lessons. Are we willing to take a stand for a larger group expression? Are we as a group willing to be responsible for the group’s contribution to the world? Co-Measurement reflects how we balance our inner integrity with the group integrity so both can be fully and optimally expressed. When we are Unconscious of this and operate from a motive of Arrogance, we are unable to be responsible for our own goals. Initially, in a motive of Personal Achievement, we come to appreciate our personal responsibility to contribute what we have to contribute. When we evolve into a motive of Idealized Unity, we tend to confuse our integrity by trying to make the group accountable to our Intent, thereby minimizing the group’s capacity to maintain its integrity. In Mutual Accomplishment, we can honor our contribution in a way that does not become an inappropriate burden for the group to deal with. In this way, the group can come into a more enriched and embodied sense of self-expression.

To fully manifest Mutual Accomplishment we need to create and maintain our internal Security. Security is created when we are able to take responsibility for our contribution through time. Insecurity is born from doubt and fear that circumstances will sabotage all of our plans. What if we were able to see and accept that everything will work our as it should? Could we imagine that the Universe will support our full expression? Are we attached to being received in particular manner? It is our Projections of what we need that cause the Anxiety that keeps us from Mutual Accomplishment. If we can transcend our fearful in the moment perceptions through optimism, Mutual Accomplishment will be much easier to manifest. Our ability to be at one with the Universe is a very powerful unifier making Mutual Accomplishment a centralizing activity that supports our natural well being. Our Security is handled when we Trust that our expression will be received.

Our Growth in self-awareness and understanding is key to the constant learning that occurs in Mutual Accomplishment. Instead of focusing on old Beliefs as descriptions of our present situation, we learn to create new perspectives so that our evolution occurs with greater flow and power. We start to see how we are constantly in a state of transition and how each thought supports us in engaging even larger possibilities if we do not get attached to any thought. This openness in our inner knowing can then be translated into an outer dance where we recognize how to support others in their movement and Growth. As long as we do not get fixed in a certain belief or form, we will be able to continue to grow and use our self-unifying Experience to create bridges to others in the world. Each interaction will become an opportunity to learn more about our Self and others. We begin to appreciate how “showing up” and getting involved is a tremendous gift to ourselves because of how it enriches our lives. Let us come to appreciate the Light within us so it becomes a blazing torch that can awaken others to their own Light.


Aliveness is the capacity to act fully in Alignment with our authentic truth and Experience. It is captured in the words “Carpe Diem!” which means Seize the Day! It is the desire to live life fully without compromise or withholds. This zest for living is attractive to others depending on their own Acceptance of their Life Energy. As a Conscious attraction, the more we meet each other on this level, the more we naturally empower each other to be present with our Life Energy. When we are afraid, but attracted, to this energy, it indicates that we are currently limiting our life expression and are seeking others who can stimulate us on this level. Aliveness supports us in manifesting our Authentic Life Expression, because it is a Commitment to discover and fulfill our most challenging contributions. The key development process is rhythm. This requires physical detachment and Playfulness to Experience the good/bad without becoming a slave to our behavior and Habits. The terms Self Presence, Transmutation and Cellular Affinity capture the integrity and vibratory Beauty required for Conscious action, which creates within us the Experience of Aliveness. We deny Aliveness by going into Excitement that means returning to the Instinctive level.

Mutual Learning

Mutual Learning is the ability to honor our ‘perfect/imperfect’ Growth process by Consciously defining our lessons as they arise. When two or more individuals align in their learning, their lesson quickly manifests. This supports us in attracting what we need to deepen our understanding. One issue is to honor our mistakes as much as our breakthroughs. Another issue is release our self-Consciousness. As a Masculine oriented skill, Mutual Learning is greatly facilitated when our Intention, Content and Context are brought through Mastery into Alignment. We must be willing to push beyond the accepted appearances to discover what is possible. A Co-Creative learning process requires a considerable degree of Autonomy and Intimacy.

Co-Measurement is the ability of each Partner to determine what they can give abundantly that will further the goals of the relationship. It requires that we are able to assess our own energy, skills and Intentions on a moment-to-moment basis to determine the best way to contribute. This means that each individual is responsible for where they are and if they cannot contribute without compromising themselves that they will withdraw from that endeavor so that others can step into that contribution. Of course this challenges all of our notions about having goals and about people being responsible for doing what they say they are going to do. Instead it requires us to recognize that everything is changing and that sometimes we cannot anticipate how circumstances will impact us. Mutual Learning invites us to be flexible and fluid in our Co-Creation with others. When we can it becomes delightful to participate with others in ways that brings out resources in us that we did not know we possessed.

The quality of Mutual Learning is initiated when our perceptions complement those of our Partner so that we grow together. The more aligned and resonant we feel with each other in terms of what we want to do, the more Mutual Learning lets us build a common foundation where we can share resources together. This happens because we are willing to explore all possibilities and Trust that our mutual interests and transpersonal Desires will guide us in a common direction. By learning how to support each other, we build shared access to problem-solving resources. We are able to build momentum by helping each other to become the best person possible. Our Commitment to support each other’s Authentic Expression will create opportunities and make possible mutual transcendence. It is Mutual Learning that synchronizes and stabilizes transformative relationships.

We deny Mutual Learning by taking unilateral action that we know will upset others. This keeps us from ever learning anything from them. When we operate this way we refuse to share our knowing or Wisdom and instead seek to keep others from getting too close to us. Internally it indicates that we are overwhelmed by relationships and do not want to be open and available at this time. In this situation we are attached to what we know and do not want the input of others to affect our course of action. Eventually when we come to realize how isolating this is, we either engage our Masculine side by pushing others away (so that we can eliminate ours’ or their indecisiveness) or engage our Feminine side by withdrawing (so that they have to deal with limited resources and or support). Both withdrawing and pushing others away are tactics that we use to attempt to keep control of how much we are letting others affect how and what we learn. It is not until we realize that we cannot loose anything by being able to engage that we see how learning with others is actually a gift to us.

The benefit of Mutual Learning is that no one needs to be an expert in order to create the best solution. Any participant can produce a breakthrough merely by paying Attention to the process. Mutual Learning is the natural result of finding and expressing our life work and developing ways to renew and enhance our contribution. The more we are aligned with an intuitive Partner, the more effective the Mutual Learning process will be. This can eliminate fixed positions based on hierarchal professional attainments. Engaging Mutual Learning requires greater personal Intention, Content sharing and Acceptance of a Context that is inclusive. Aliveness, Playfulness and Paradox greatly enhance our Mutual Learning capabilities.

Spiritual Responsibility is the virtue of engaging the Mutual Learning process effectively. In a Mutual Learning situation, we learn how to take responsibility based on our level of awareness. As we grow in awareness, we not only take on greater responsibility for supporting our Partner’s Growth process, but also for creating possibilities in the world that were not previously accepted. Spiritual Responsibility is the term we use to indicate we are committed to fulfilling the transpersonal possibilities around us. It means we are not holding back or limiting our Self to what we can easily engage, but are willing to step beyond what may seem practical and engage what is possible. Spiritual Responsibility is where we learn how to hold space for creative opportunities even if we do not have the resources currently to implement them. When we are successful in a Mutual Learning process, it is because we have learned how to synchronize ourselves with another. Spiritual Responsibility is a natural step where we own how our Transpersonal Desires are also in Alignment.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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