Intuitive Attractions

Being Conscious About Attractions

When we learn how to creatively respond to others, it is because we have accepted our own unique Creativity. It is also the result of integrating both our masculine and feminine sides. For example, Aliveness is the result of embodying Acceptance, Innocence, and Sexiness. Wisdom is the result of embodying Personality Self Rejection, Strength, and Smarts. What confuses many individuals is how Aliveness can represent the masculine expression on a lower skills level yet be the embodiment of feminine attractions on the Intuitive level. This occurs because when we integrate the Aliveness of our masculine with the Wisdom of our feminine, they switch positions, as they are polar opposites of each other. The same is true with Wisdom being the completion point of masculine development. This makes sense when we consider that women become stronger and more individuated as they consciously evolve, while men become more team oriented as they evolve.

Ken Wilbur would call these two a Holon because as we embody our masculine it requires us to keep engaging our feminine, and vice versa. The difference between this circular holon and the silo holons we have previously talked about, is that it indicates that there are two paths to get to the same solution. In effect, what we are saying is that every individuals has a masculine and feminine side, which will become integrated in order for them to become complete Human Beings. Another way of imagining this is that on a personality level, we gravitate toward our Strengths (either masculine or feminine) and then attempt to remedy or heal our weaknesses. This is why we, in Higher Alignment, use and acknowledge strengths rather than focus on problems clients state they have. Attractions on the Personality level are always the result of integrating our masculine and feminine nature (on a horizontal basis), which is where we go when we acknowledge our lessons at each step. The higher set of attractions integrate us vertically and help us to become more conscious and therefore, less defined by our Personality attractions. We will be discussing how Cellular Affinity, Vibratory Response and Vibratory Expansion are the primary ways we address these vertical holons of masculine, feminine, and combined masculine and feminine expression. Ultimately, what we are most attracted to in each other is our Creative embodiment, which trumps our Personality perspective. This is why Aliveness, Wisdom, and Awareness are the most powerful attractions when we are conscious.

Combining Aliveness, Wisdom and Awareness is what empowers our Creative Nature to contribute and respond to the Universe. Aliveness is also the result of neutralizing our defense styles to express a balanced masculine embodiment. Wisdom is the result of neutralizing our defense styles to express a balanced feminine embodiment. Finally, Awareness helps us to become more Pioneering and definitely distances us from the role-playing of Distant Defense Styles because it helps us to be more inclusive and present to whatever occurs around us. The more we find positive expressions of our masculine and feminine that do not discount either our masculine or feminine, the more we are moving into a Pioneering position where our attractions become a matter of choice. It is important to remember that defenses themselves promote the appearance of strength while denying our weaknesses. When this occurs we feel compelled to take positions where we are denying some aspect of our possible Truth. Now that we are working with the pure masculine or feminine qualities, there are no distortions, withholds, or limitations that would keep us from making the best choices for us.

In the diagram we see there are core conscious attractions that help us to integrate ourselves between our masculine and feminine. Aliveness is initially a masculine attraction, which becomes a feminine attraction as it evolves. This is why women are initially attracted to Aliveness. Wisdom is initially a feminine attraction that becomes a masculine one. This is why men are attracted to Wisdom. Awareness becomes an attraction the more conscious we become and able to integrate both our masculine and feminine aspects. Without a degree of embodiment of both Aliveness and Wisdom, Awareness would not show up as a powerful tool to facilitate creative processes (guided by Aliveness) and relationship development (guided by Wisdom).

Aliveness is most powerful on the Instinctive level because it is activated by our physical Intent. We embody it by internally defining ourselves in terms of how we wish to express ourselves. Any fantasy or Excitement patterns inhibit the expression of our Intent, and thereby, diminish Aliveness. Aliveness shows up externally as an ability to respond consciously to what is needed in an environment. This requires an ability to see and engage others as they are without judgment or fear. Growth, Playfulness, and Mutual Learning are all skills that promote Aliveness.

Wisdom is the most powerful on the Intellectual level because it is activated by our ability to speak our truth harmlessly. It is destructive to Pretenses, Defenses, and other self-limiting Beliefs because we cannot be petty when we operate in the Context of Wisdom. It is constructive because it allows us to build transpersonal truths between individuals, which permit us to be unified in terms of who we are and what we want. Intensity and displaced desires create obstacles for the expression of Wisdom. This is due to the fact that when these patterns exist, we feel the need to assert our personal differences over our common similarities with others. Paradox, Personality Detachment, and Intuitive Discrimination are all skills that support Wisdom.

Awareness is both Reflective and Receptive. Our Awareness is receptive when it is undefined and operates from the space of constant discovery. Awareness is Reflective when we are able to describe what is going on in a way that mirrors the perceptions of others. It empowers us to balance our internal experience and see how it is aligned with our outer perceptions. This is a state of constant refinement, which is only undermined when we entertain Anxiety and self-pity. It is enhanced to the degree that we are able to distinguish between what our Truth is and yet be supportive in terms of a shared, mutual Truth. Personality Detachment, Intuitive Discrimination, and Physical Discernment are all required to promote conscious Awareness.

Cellular Affinity, Vibratory Response & Expansion

Previously, we have discussed how Self-Love makes possible conscious attractions. We have suggested that finding the neutral third point of view beyond our personality perceptions can free us from unloving expressions to our self and others. The more we can Love ourselves on a Creative Level, the more we are able to provide the higher Safety, Security, and compassion that our personality needs to express itself in the world. To the degree we still seek love through sexuality, defensive opposite chemistry, and idealizations of what we think we should be, is the same degree we are sabotaging our Creative Self-Love. When we operate with loving integrity between our Creative Self and our Personality our perceptions of reality shift. To this point, we have focused on Co-Creation as the ideal behind all attractions. Now we will provide descriptions of higher levels of attraction that transcend our personality perspective. In the diagram Unconscious Attractions, we delineate how imbalances in Sensations, Feelings, Emotions and Thoughts manifest as Excitement, Repulsion and Intensity. We also suggested thereafter that balancing these experiential frameworks neutralizes our negative outer attractions and produces Aliveness, Awareness and Wisdom, respectively.

In the diagram Conscious Attractions, we now discuss how accepting our Aliveness, Awareness and Wisdom internally connects us to Beauty, Goodness and Truth, so we are able to perceive the conscious attractions of Creative Congruence, Creative Tension and Creative Harmony. Remember, what is in the way of seeing Conscious Attractions is our perceptual distortions where objectification, subjectification, and idealization distance us from Connecting, Communication and operating in a state of Co-Measurement. Co-Measurement is our ability to see beyond these distortions and respond in an Autonomous and Intimate manner. Since our sensory attachments and unbalanced experiential framework distort our ability to see Beauty, Truth, and Goodness when it shows up, it is obvious why we are not able respond authentically. When these lower level channels are cleared of these distortions, we discover a new world of Conscious Attractions. We know we have entered this domain when we experience Communion with another. This is when the value of being Co-Creative with others actually manifests. Until this point, we are constantly in a state of effort without results, analysis without true understanding and personality desires that prevents us from being present with our true needs.

You may have noticed in the diagram Unconscious Attractions, that from the personality perspective, all attractions are located in lower areas of the body. Unconscious personality attractions are mostly located below the diaphragm. Attractions, on a creative level, reflect explorations in connectedness, communication, Co-Measurement and creativity above the diaphragm with others. When we are conscious about attractions we are not attached, positioned, or polarized regarding our connection to others. What distinguishes unconscious from conscious attractions is acceptance and inner embodiment. While the heart represents the positive pole of Concrete Thinking, in Higher Alignment, the throat represents Abstract Thoughts (the negative pole) where we learn to communicate authentically. When these two are combined, the paradox creates cohesion and clarity, when we are aligned with our Creative Being. We call this attraction Creative Congruence because our ability to manifest our inner alignment

allows us to release outer attachments to particular ways of being. This can be validated because we no longer care about maintaining or building a better self-image. We simply realize that others’ ability to perceive us will produce what it does. Why should we waste valuable energy explaining our actions, intentions, or attempting to influence another’s perception of us? The energy is better spent actually contributing to others who will be able to respond in a congruent manner.

Creative Congruence means we are operating in alignment with our true nature and have the capacity to manifest on demand the experience of Communion with others who are also aligned. This creative experience of Communion with another supersedes Excitement, Intensity, and learning through Repulsions (that may arise in the process). The type of bonding that arises in conscious relationships is very different than in unconscious relationships. We come to see Excitement as the incomplete issues with our parents that we can now honor and move beyond. This initially requires that we move beyond previous safety mandates so we discover that we can manifest our safety when we need to. The type of communication that occurs in conscious relationships is very different than in Co-Dependent relationships. We now know that Intensity is a reflection of our own disconnect with the Wisdom that is naturally present within us. This initially requires that we step outside previous needs to be made secure by the way others talk to us. The kinds of interactions that occur in conscious relationships reflect going beyond the safety and security framework of our past so we can grow. We see that repulsions provide an opportunity to complete the lessons of our past, so we are no longer fearful or concerned about them. By neutralizing these personality disconnections, we can be Enthusiastic and Passionate without reservation.

It is important to recognize that while the experience of Creative Congruence has as its basis similar Compatibility Factors, it is our Self Acceptance of our Creative Nature and our capacity to honor the Creative Congruence of others that activates our ability to operate together consciously. When we know who we are as a Creative Being we no longer need to prove who we are… empowering us to engage others in a flexible and fluid manner. In this way our being present to our Truth can be shared with others who are present in their Truth, creating the experience of congruence. For each creative difference perceived by each individual, we need to be comfortable in our Self to meet others as they are. Any reactions where we are carrying past associations about being discounted or denied by this characteristic or quality keeps us from being able to be present when an individuals presents this difference. Paradoxically, our self-acceptance of our “complete Truth” which is able to separate the past from the present that permits us to not react when others attack, discount, or deny us. As long as we are able to love our Creative Self, knowing that our experience supersedes the limited perceptions of others; attacks and rejections can produce great insights and discoveries.

As we are no longer a prisoner to our personality perceptions, we can operate “outside the box” with others. Confronting the unknown both within and without creates opportunities for creative breakthroughs. This is because we are no longer protecting our past and can now grow in our understanding of our Truth. A major indication that we are operating on this level is how we choose to engage pain, disassociation, and discomfort to recover the flexibility and fluidness we had as children. Sometimes the quickest way to release the inner blockages is to place our self in situations where our family pattern can be fully revealed and the energy caught in these patterns recovered.  In this manner we learn to invest in our growing Creative Convergence.

The second level of conscious attraction emerges when we are operating in a state of Goodness, and are able to connect to the Goodness of our partner, because we experience Goodness within. Our abstract Thoughts, connecting to our inner modes of being, inspire the search for new ways of creating. The third eye (lower forehead between the eyes) anchors our ability to perceive our place in the universe. These new co-creative ways of being with each other give birth to the process of Unity Thinking, which transcends concrete ways of understanding our circumstances. This expansive experience is anchored through Right Relationships or other forms of team building. Some would consider the third eye as the focal point in their ability to experience their Self Presence. This is the positive pole that when in relationship, with abstract Thoughts, produces insight and transpersonal understanding about how various elements (in a larger system) will interact. This keynote attraction is called Creative Tension because it effectively utilizes differences and uncomfortable similarities in a way that stimulates new possibilities to emerge.

Conscious Creative Tension is different than unconscious personality tension because the former is balanced, present and open to any form of discussion. We do no like to admit our personality tension because we believe it will reveal too much about us. Conscious attractions require that we acknowledge our motivations and fears (when they may interfere with the relationship) so we own our attachments to past personality desires. Initially, it is hard to imagine that our lower motivations, fears, and personality attachments will not polarize our partner. Our personality reinforces the notion that these issues are bad or will drive the other person away, when; in fact, it is our personality’s way of distancing us from others. Conscious individuals recognize that these issues provide the juice and motivation to transcend our Defenses. Conscious Creative Tension supports us in deepening our Truth so that we can come to embody the opposite and owning the complete polarity. Only when we embrace our opposite, can we learn by being present to our wholeness. Creative Tension, when fully engaged, always supports our enlightenment. Uplifting Our Attractions is a step-by-step method to make all of our attractions more conscious.

When there is a commitment to share ourselves with a partner on this level, it supplies the support we need to maintain our consciousness on a creative level. When we can talk about attractions, we provide insights to our partner so they can meet us in a way where conscious creative lessons can emerge. The more we do not speak about our attractions, the more energy builds up and distorts our growth process by discounting or denying what we need. Conscious attractions are also produced when we identify the lessons behind our unconscious attractions and can act congruently beyond personality dualities and Defenses. Mutual Learning and Growth are tools that shift us from petty personal concerns to transpersonal discussions where we can, by honoring our highest Truth, become more integral and whole. When we become aligned about which lessons we will engage, our mutual ability to bring Life, Light, and Love to our circumstances can provide insights and solutions to what was individually considered impossible. When this occurs it permits us to interact consciously to neutralize any internal tension by speaking about it so it can become an external conscious tension that supports our growth and mutual well-being.

Naturally, our capacity to find ways to Transmute, Transform, and Transfigure our Unconscious Attractions into Conscious Attractions depends on our ability to Love our Creative Self. When we fully engage our Creative Being, we consciously seek others who are able to amplify our efforts without compromising themselves. It will create unconscious tension if they are not conscious or creative enough to do so. While only one conscious person is required at a time to create breakthroughs for both partners, eventually, any one person

will be unable to carry the load for the relationship. This means that maintaining a conscious relationship is greatly facilitated by partners being able to consciously contribute. While our ability to Love, Esteem, and Respect our Self lets us interact without a need for Reassurance, Co-Dependence, and pre-programmed personality attractions, we can become frustrated by our partner’s “on-going needs” for these personality reflections. The problem is that when any partner becomes attached to the outer form it brings all relationship growth to a halt.

Getting Off The Fixed Attractions Playing Board

Attractions are a way to identify lessons so that we can address the lessons that are showing up for us. In the beginning of this book when we provided the 12 attractions on the four levels with three attractions at each level, we encouraged you to memorize the board so that you could become clear about how attractions were showing up and potentially what lessons are behind them. The more you have been able to see these lessons, the more comfortable you have become with the entire attractions playing board. The value of this is how you get to see how Attachments, Positions, and Projections have kept us caught in a particular attraction. This has led us either to clarify and acknowledge an attraction within us or to get another person to support us in it. While it is great that we have increasingly been able to see these patterns, the only way to embody the attraction is to actually understand accept the lessons behind it.

Now that we have a more conscious perspective about attractions the game is about how to get off the attractions playing board. How we do this is first by recognizing our attractions perspective is not really what is important. If we actually creatively aligned with our partners, we do not need attractions to guide us. Attractions are therefore the training wheels where we choose more consciously aligned partners. Every distortion in an attraction creates a place in ourselves where we will accept the compromises of others in the choices we make. In others words, wherever we are confused and not being present with ourselves it becomes an opportunity for others to use that attraction against us or we use it against our partners without realizing it. The real indication that we have reached a point where we do not need the attractions playing board any more when we are attracting into our life those who actually value and support us.

Of course, the challenge is that some of us will think we are off the playing board because no one has responded to us or repulsed us by their approach. Some people will think the value of knowing attractions is that we can identify how locked in to lower lessons potential partners are. This means that if they are doing a lot of instinctive attractions we may think they are not an opportunity. The only problem with this is that we do not know how they will respond to us. The dilemma, is that yes, they could be naturally committed to ignoring all the higher level attractions, but what if who we are and who they are creates a higher level opportunity for attractions? We end up thinking we know what a person has to offer when in fact, we may not. This is why we recommend that you experience another person before you make preemptive judgments about them.

A real indication that we are off the playing board is that we have no real reaction to the person. While this may sound crazy we do not need attractions to bring us together if we can see the potential lessons we have with each other. The heartfelt, intuitive sense of possibilities is usually the best thing to focus on. Is there potential, are they available, are they able to meet us and speak their truth? If this occurs, we can develop the rapport and deeper reasons to connect with them from the joy we have in exploring each other’s lives. The value of this is that there will be opportunities to emerge for mutual lessons that will not be obvious in any picture we look at. When we can see all the attractions and how they have limited our choices by convincing us that a particular partner was better than anyone we have had before, then we are ready to make a change. This change is about completing all the lessons within us where we believe we need someone else to be whole and make us feel good about ourselves.

The next issue is recognizing when a potential individual is at the next level of lessons than what you have previously experienced. The Universe is always placing people in our path based on the lessons we are engaging. We cannot fake it by trying to be at a different level of lessons that what is fundamentally true within us. This means that for a while, we will be attracting individuals who will not be at the level of our standards and we will have the opportunity to say “next”. The key to continuing to grow is to acknowledge the lessons they represent and see how we have mastered those lessons by the natural calmness and even slightly detached way of being with them. If there is no passion to explore creative lessons then this is the best reason not to continue to engage them. How we exit the playing board is by superseding it. When we find individuals that get who we are and what we are saying without our having to explain it, it is an indication that we are moving beyond the attractions playing board. We really have to experience all the options before we can leave it.

So, our mandate to supersede our attractions begins with building ourselves up so we do not feel we need to compromise ourselves or negotiate an exchange of attractions with partners. If they have enough self-esteem, self-respect and self-love this will make it easier for us to operate in the same way with them. The more we unify our attractions into silos of masculine and feminine development, we can become the hero or heroine that makes the conscious sacrifice for a better future by not rejecting individuals where we have some repulsions. Each repulsion is an opportunity to support our growth in overcoming it. Sometimes we have to hang out with those who most repulse us to get over our repulsions. In this way, they are a gift to us. Finally, we need to actually affirm the lessons we are learning to attract people to complement where we are so we will be able to concentrate our creativity in ways that are mutually beneficial.

The more we identify with Creative Self Love, the more we seek to make creative contributions in the world. Sometimes our partner’s desire for personality reassurance, reflection, and idealization seem at odds with our intention to make this contribution. When this occurs, one partner views the other as impersonal and fixated on congruence at the cost of harmony or a personal connection. The other, more interested in Truth and economy of effort, may not understand that this is a request for beauty and natural goodness to be reflected back to them in the world. Of course, these interpretations do not deny that our goal is to be more Creatively Self Loving, which means honoring our Self so others do not need to do so. It also does not deny that the need for constant reassurance or Co-Dependent responses is a personality addiction and that continuing to provide this support keeps our partners from learning to love their Creative Self. Sometimes the most loving thing to do is to encourage our partners to love and honor their Self by not providing this reassurance. When partners experience this imbalance, it is best to seek resolution early, for not doing so reinforces imbalances in the relationship that are hard to restore. As a result, attractions become polarized and unconscious attractions will dominate.

In is also important to recognize that healing the imbalances between Sensations and Feelings, between Emotions and Thoughts, and between Feelings and Emotions regenerates our ability to meet others wherever they are. Instead of fixed personality attractions, we are able to engage our partners in autonomous ways that promote Mutual Aliveness, Wisdom, and Awareness (commonly experienced as Enthusiasm). Our ability to be present with our Creative Self allows us to see and address Co-Creative issues in an aligned manner without compromise, misunderstanding, and projection. Most of the time our communications will support us in releasing our personality concerns so creative issues can be fully considered. We experience this power when, by the process of declaring an attraction, we make it so! Since our word has power in the world, let us use the sacred nature of speech to experience defining our attractions in the moment. For example, we could without any preconception declare that we love our partner’s way of combing their hair. We could then experience the feeling of love whenever we watched them using a comb. The only problem is that we need to watch what we wish for because it is likely to manifest in unexpected ways if we are not conscious of this ability.

These higher levels are embodied only after we engage the polarities of experience and can instill a rhythmic balance and interchange between all sides. In this way, they repeat the pattern of personality attractions, where we need to anchor and experience each modality in relation to all other modalities. Currently, each time we add another dimension of experience, it enriches all the earlier ways of seeing our reality. For example, when we become comfortable with Abstract Thinking and become comfortable with Paradox, we are no longer stuck in linear, sequential ways of thinking. We can amplify this inner experience by consciously using our imagination, visualization, and creative will to express ourselves as a creative contribution to the world.

The right use of imagination helps unify our Sensations and Feelings so we do not fall into fantasies that disconnect us. The right use of visualization brings together our Thoughts and Emotions so that our passion can enhance and deepen our connection with our partner. The right use of will involves balancing our Feelings and Emotions so that we can choose those possibilities that reflect our higher non-polarized intentions. The more we manifest this process on our own, the more we attract other individuals who are doing the same. Initially, this is challenging, because we need to practice letting go of the past definitions of who we are. When we finally get to the place of seeing the gift in rejection by others, it no longer matters what our unconscious attractions tell us because we are already firmly anchored in our commitment to express our Creative Nature.

The third level of conscious attraction emerges when we operating in a state of Beauty, and are able to connect to the Beauty of our partner, because they experience Beauty within. The crown (six inches above the head) embodies our highest sense of Self and how we are reflected in all the other Selves we come in contact with. We call this our Creative Source. The more we are in touch with our Creative Source, the more we naturally attract Right Community, where we can be of optimum service. The keynote of this level is Creative Harmony. This is the negative pole as related to “Modes of Being” because it reflects the receptive nature of being in connection to the universe. Very few individuals operate at this level of consciousness, the author being one of the many who do not. It is therefore impossible for us to fully describe. What we can talk about is the Bliss and Joy of being able to connect consciously on this level. While many Spiritual Teachers using meditation and contemplation are able to describe many levels beyond this, we will focus on our ability to transcend previous limits to experiencing the Beauty of life.

The technique of Common Neutral Ground is quite effective in creating harmony in all our relationships. While we will not explain this technique in this paper, a few principles may be in order regarding attractions. The CNG is its own independent entity, which supports us in maintaining clear personal and relationship boundaries. This permits us to use our own inner environment as a reflection of the environment we seek to create in the common ground so we can see the differences energetically. Our ability to love ourselves is the power behind the Common Neutral Ground. In this way, any reaction experienced becomes an indication of an imbalance in our personal or relationship spaces. When we are able to be present with ourselves (without any reactions), then it is possible to experience not only how our partner is relating to the relationship (by their energetic connection to the CNG), but we are also able to perceive their degree of Creative Congruence. This allows us to learn if they are receptive to new input or if they are available to share their experiences.

If our partner is caught up in their reactions, they could, unconsciously, seek reassurance or attempt to find a way for us to meet them where they are. If they are in a reaction, and they are operating from an unconscious attraction, this typically manifests as a need for us to mirror them in a complementary attraction. For example, if a partner doubts or denies their beauty, their objectification of others will reinforce their self-objectification, where they will attempt to get us excited. If we take the bait, they will temporarily feel reassured, because they do not have to examine their own self-denied beauty. If we meet them with Aliveness, it may initially polarize them, but it is also possible they could be uplifted out of their excitement. This reflects how easy is not to deal with unconscious tension. If we continue to operate on this level, we will never fully experience our own Beauty, Truth and Goodness. The real purpose of a Common Neutral Ground is to provide a foundation for the expression of conscious tension with our partners. This kind of tension is a creative catalyst for bringing things into existence externally in the world. It requires that we be in a state of presence and can respond to differences and similarities equally.

We call this process “holding space for each other” because it is about connecting without the need for an object of focus. In other words, we do not have to know beforehand the objective or purpose of a particular creative act because we can energetically manifest it on the fly. Individuals in Higher Alignment use the technique of Common Neutral Ground as a fulcrum for creating in a transpersonal manner. It is useful to be able to accept our partners as they are, for any degree of denial will increase the resistance we experience when working together. The result of holding space will be obvious because our energies will shift the way the universe operates around us. The more we are able to step beyond our self-perceived limitations about our creative nature, the more we will be able to learn and grow together. All this is a moot point if we do not engage and practice creatively interacting with each other.

The Diagram Energetic Creative Integrity, can help us to understand that our internal energetic environment is a reflection of how we hold our attractions. As we have likely discovered, whenever we operate in Excitement, Intensity or Repulsion, it short-circuits our energetic field, which requires us to constantly expend energy and effort to maintain our personality. This is because our fears and personality desires need external reinforcement. The more we seek to reassure, care take, or are codependent, the more we need others to affirm us. In effect, we are attempting to unconsciously merge with others in the hope that they will be able to create a connection with us that will maintain our relationship with integrity. Relationship integrity is impossible without first creating personal integrity. This means we need to take ownership of all our fears and personality desires and recognize where we are out of balance on the levels of Sensations, Feelings, Emotions, and Thoughts. This self-examination process will help us to balance our own internal systems, particularly if we understand the concepts in the diagram.

The left hand side of the diagram illustrates how experiential frameworks (Sensations, Feelings, Emotions, Thoughts, abstract Thoughts and modes of being) connect to physical locations in the body known as chakras. Each level has an opposite polarity, which allows each chakra to develop itself fully without being negatively impacted by the others. It is beyond the scope of this paper to delineate the lessons involved in each, but much of what has been conveyed previously about our Gender Identity development coincides with the different chakra levels. Energy from the universe enters from the top of the chart (the North Pole) and is distributed through the charkas (which represent different vibrational levels).

  In Diagram Unconscious Attractions, we illustrated how we can become addicted to others who have complementary imbalances in the lower three chakras. This occurs when our personality is negatively charged and we are in a state of externally seeking safety, security, and acceptance. When we are negatively charged, we grasp at everything, not realizing that we cannot absorb any additional energy. What is required is to feed our Creative Self by making contributions that align with our Creative Being. This entails serving others while serving our creative development process.

Initially, as we build our creative capacity, it will irritate our personality attachments, positions and projections, because the energy will be flowing in a different manner. This reorientation process is necessary to re-establish the integrity of our personality framework. In the short term, it is likely that excitement, intensity and other personality cravings will emerge in unexpected ways. This is natural, because we are creating a positive way to relate to our personality system. Over time, these unconscious attractions will diminish as Right Relationship is established between our Creative Self and our Personality self. It is likely that our frameworks for objectification, subjectification, and idealization will soften and bring more flexibility to our personality expressions. We can greatly facilitate this process by making three connections, labeled T1, T2 and T3. T1 is where we use the life energy of Transmutation to bring safety to our root chakra or instinctive “me” persona from the region of the Third Eye.

We suggest imagining rhythmic surges of energy flowing from this positive center down to the root chakra area. This will reduce our desire to use fantasy and excitement to keep from actually connecting with others. Transmutation, where we connect the highest to the lowest, is a result of Cellular Affinity and being able to honor the inner beauty of our being so it can manifest externally. With Transmutation, we are able to experience our Aliveness because our intent can be clearly manifested in the world. It is the process of establishing our intentions and letting them emerge that creates the rhythm.

T2, which stands for Transformation, connects the positive energy of our heart and Thoughts with the negative polarities of our Emotions and solar plexus. This allows us to establish our Authentic Truth and to bring down the energy of the heart to nurture our sense of passion. Imagine holding this connection for several minutes to manifest an inner sense of security. Feel the vibratory power of our heart’s response to our personality’s requests. This allows us to bridge the inner/outer duality where we believe we need certain external supports on an ongoing basis and are afraid that we will not attract what we need. When this connection is established on a consistent basis, it creates the interchange necessary to be able to speak our Truth in the moment without compromise. Let us monitor our heartbeat as a reminder of our ability to interpret our reality that best serves our growth and development.

T3, which stands for Transfiguration, connects the negative polarity of abstract Thoughts with the positive polarity of our Feelings. This can be best be imagined by envisioning an energetic connection between our throat and sacral center. Transfiguration is the capacity to go beyond our Self, with the realization that we are in a constant state of becoming. Without this connection, we get caught up in our self-image and end up believing in our limitations. Some individuals become so idealistic that they actually lose all hope of being able to contribute to others. Transfiguration is where we learn how to connect our personal will with Universal Intent. Our capacity to engage what shows up in our lives permits us to be more flexible in what we choose to engage. This occurs only when our intuitive sense of self has emerged and we trust and accept the underlying messages that are transmitted to us in terms of actions in our lives. While we do not want to become overly fixated on what the message is behind each action in our lives, it is useful to interpret sequences of activities that provide the same message. For example, if we get a flat tire three times in a row, what activity are we avoiding or how do we need to slow down to appreciate our life more fully?

These polarities are commonly represented on three levels, which represent the three principles of attraction. Masculine/feminine balance, inner/outer integration, and loving/creative self-acceptance, and the paradox of feeling completeness and continuous improvement are required to fulfill our attractions. When we step into being our Creative Self, we release the polarization, effort and urgency that typify unconscious attractions. We cease to need partners who complement our weaknesses and strengths. Instead, our focus becomes how we can engage each other creatively in fun, Paradoxical, and Playful ways. We begin to trust that our connection with the universe will manifest as a capacity to create our own inner safety and security. Our opportunity is to attract self-present partners who do not need to be attracted to us in polarized ways to engage us. Initially, this shift can seem unreal because we do not have the personality polarization to affirm and reassure us that we are in relationship. The freedom to express ourselves in any way also seems unreal because it is hard to believe that our partners can love us for being who we are. Eventually, we come to recognize, that with this opportunity comes the responsibility to be co-creative with others. Our focus becomes how to facilitate our interactions in a creative manner that goes beyond our current understanding. Instead of fear of the unknown, we shift our intention to being the adventurers we always wanted to be.

This does not mean that we need to constantly operate from all three of these principles. Whenever we forget one, it simply means that our fears and desires will soon begin to suffocate creative expression in the relationship. The tools that can assist us in remembering who we are as creative beings are breathing exercises (evoking Life energy), meditation (invoking Light energy), and performing service projects in the world (empowering the expression of Love). The whole purpose of being in relationship is, therefore, not to get our needs met, but to be of greater service by amplifying our creative expressions together. Behind all attractions is our connection to Love. As previously stated, the growth of Creative Self Love will automatically transform lower level attractions into higher, more conscious ways of connecting. The more we understand our attractions, the easier it is for us to see how these attractions reflect where we are not yet willing to love ourselves. Of course, we make up great external stories to distract ourselves from this internal Truth.

There is an energetic creative integrity to our lives if we are willing to see it. At the end of all contraction there is expansion, then contraction again. On a universal level, this breathing process is reflected by Gravitation and Radiation. Everything is in the process of building itself up so later it can be dismantled. The purpose of this is to develop discrimination in our experience so we have a greater ability to choose what works. Can we learn to see how everything is connected and mirrored in our attractions? Can we consciously engage our relationships using these new tools to uplift the possibilities we create? The answer is, yes, because all of us, eventually, come to appreciate the meaning of attractions or we will be lost forever in the effects of unconscious attractions. Let us therefore endeavor to be more aware of attractions and the effect they have on our lives.

When we are conscious about our attractions, it is much easier to engage others from the bottom-up through the steps of Connection, Communication, Co-Measurement, and Communion. Individuals caught up in unconscious attractions are not able to complete this cycle, so that the benefits of the relationship remains un-affirmed. This means we are constantly seeing the potential of a relationship without being able to understand why it does not work. This document, which clarifies how our attractions sabotage our ability to be with others, is also the solution that enables us to shift from unconscious to conscious attractions. The more conscious we can become about our attractions, the more ease and grace we experience in our relationships. Ultimately, this means that we should be able to be with any type of person and honor them as we honor ourselves. This is difficult at first because so much of our awareness is spent trying to understand our differences.

The less attached we are to positions and projections about who we think we are, the easier it is to be naturally responsive to whatever happens between us. The more we find ways to consciously engage and experiment with different ways of connecting, the more likely we will discover a creative flow that can continually regenerate the relationship in wholesome ways. At the Intuitive level, we are not at the effect of our attractions; rather, our attractions are an expression of our Truth in that moment. Instead of externalizing our attractions by reinforcing and naming what we want in a partner, we internalize the attractions by being willing to engage and grow to discover new ways to be ourselves. The key is to become conscious of our attractions so we do not get blindsided by them.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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