Intellectual Attractions | HA events

Intellectual Attractions

Innocence, Strength, and Personal Autonomy attractions can either be false (destructive) or authentic (constructive). When false, we operate in a way to get along with others, because we are fearful of revealing our Truth. We take positions that are incomplete Truths and defend them by not being willing to see the complete Truth. In this way they become ways we entice others to need us, because we do not believe in our power.

When we are authentic, our positions become creative stands where all possibilities are included. We no longer need to convince others because our focus is always on being balanced and whole within ourselves. This invites us to explore the areas we think we are weak and show ourselves how capable we really are. While Intellectual attractions always have reasons why they are important, the greater Truth underlying these attractions is that emotional self-acceptance and a commitment to be heroic for ourselves transforms who we are. This is why some individuals see Emotions as more constructive and Thoughts as more destructive when taken to extremes. The larger attraction our partners are seeking is someone who is committed to the best solution and who will not give up on them.

In the diagram, we see there are operational tradeoffs to being valued as Innocent or Strong. Most individuals make choices about how to invest in appearing powerful to others. With Innocence our power is seen as our ability to honor the potential to transform circumstances so that a completely new path emerges. With Strength we invest in our ability that we will not give up and will overcome adversity no matter what. Initially, Innocence can be seen as destructive in terms of changing or switching expectations and Strength is seen as constructive in terms of building momentum toward a particular goal. However, when we investigate each one of these options, the opposite of these interpretations emerges. In this way, Innocence and Strength are opposite sides of a single coin. What emerges is a greater choice about who we are and what we stand for. When individuals embody their ability to go against the flow, others admire them for their individuation. The attraction, Personal Autonomy, shows up the more someone is able to be them selves uniquely. It means that we have gone past a certain threshold where we are not willing to compromise ourselves to maintain our safety or security needs.

An Introduction To Transformation

Transformation is the integration of Thoughts with Emotions to create a more vibrant whole. Transformation is the capacity to see something new that was always there. This occurs when we reframe how we are looking at some issue or problem based on balancing our Emotions and Thoughts. Transformation frequently shifts us into a new way of seeing our Truth because we put things together that we previously isolated or denied. The opposite of Transformation is Subjectification where we use the way we see something to make others see something in the same way. Most of the time experts do this, trying to impose their view on others. The element of force and defensive coercion is what makes subjectification so obnoxious. One of the things that is transformed in the process of engaging attractions is their meaning, importance, and ability to include what was previously separate. Transformation therefore argues for bringing together extremes due to the process of Vibratory Response to find a more inclusive middle ground. We know something is subjectified when there is Intensity in a situation. We also know that when there is Transformation because we no longer need to prove ourselves or change anyone else’s Truth or perceptions.

When we unify our Thoughts and Emotions we can honor our Desires without being fixated on them. This means we can see and accept the Truths of others and create an experience of Wisdom with them. With Transformation, we begin to see more clearly our Idealistic and Intuitive attractions. The more we shift into the fullness of our self-Transformation, the easier it is to be all of the Intellectual attractions without being positional at all. Through Vibratory Response we experience defensive healing where our ability to be judgmental and positional is completely revealed when we are still caught in these patterns. It is interesting that when we are subjectifying others, it is a cutting process, which reflects that un-evolved expressions of the Intellect are more masculine, while the evolved healing process is more feminine (Wisdom). What we are recovering is an ability to reinterpret our Content on the fly, so our Truth becomes and ever-evolving, non-time limited process. This is what Transformation is—the ability to keep seeing the deeper Truths of something on many levels and being surprised about how it integrates and comes together.

What we are blessed with is the knowledge that we do not need to rush, push, or fixate on an answer. Instead, through Pregnant Duration, we can allow the Truth and the necessary answers to emerge on their own timeframe. The only thing we need to do is to maintain our own Solitude and clarity about which we want to be transformed by.  Another effect of this is that we shift from seeing ourselves as a problem to seeing ourselves as the solution. In this way, we are freed up to let what needs to emerge, emerge in the right time so that it unfolds fully. With this background we can constantly ask the question, “What do we know and what is the value of knowing what we know?” We can also begin to investigate to whom or what do we serve? As our Truth becomes revealed in these areas, it places us on the hero’s journey where we begin to resolve these inner dualities.


Attractions, on the Intellectual level, reflect disconnections between Thoughts and Emotions where we seek agreement for our Truth by having others reinforce aspects where we are insecure. We use co-dependence with others to reinforce our self-aggrandizing perceptions to offset previous attacks on our perceived weaknesses and personal repressions. When this occurs, particularly in defensive interactions, we attempt to minimize our losses and maximize our gains by leveraging the qualities we give to get the qualities we need. The preparation of lists of qualities we need in our partners is one of the primary indicators that we are defining ourselves in terms of each other intellectually. We also use their fear of being perceived as weak to make them define themselves in ways we need. This helps us to get them to define themselves in terms that we want to solidify or be in agreement with them. By identifying with carefully constructed positions, we differentiate our self from others, so we can demonstrate our superiority. This occurs when we can make them wrong while making our choices right. We become identified with sets of qualities which support our image of success. We attract individuals with opposite qualities in an attempt to create the experience of long-term security. Constant comparison keeps us on our toes. By identifying with our defensive framework we seek to quantify how much better we are by how well we control our reality.

Intellectual attractions are defined by the requirement that our partner provides a sense of security through quid pro quo exchanges of value. Our security comes from believing that our partner needs us more than we need them. We often choose partners who have opposite creative patterns and defensive styles so as to maximize the implementation of our long-term goals. This type of co-dependent attraction encourages personal, rather than mutual growth, which means we become effective only when we establish clear areas of responsibility. This lets us blame and shame our partner whenever they do not live up to our perception of the agreement. It also encourages hiding our deeper Truths in order to keep our partners from seeing how unwanted, inadequate, and unlovable we fear we are. We end up arguing about what we believe is right and wrong, and only feel secure when we are able to prove that our partner is the one that is wrong. This intellectual defensiveness increases Intensity in the relationship and thereby minimizes the use of common Wisdom. We get caught up in the investment made in the relationship, which makes it hard to see that we are not working cooperatively with the other in a way that promotes mutual accomplishment.

We try to maximize our security by assuming positions where we can leverage our partners, but are minimally influenced by them. This shows up in the attractions of Innocence, Strength, and Personal Autonomy. Women, traditionally, have used Innocence, both real and feigned, to provide the freedom to do what they want, when they want. Men have traditionally used outer Strength, both real and imagined, to demonstrate their capacity to perform under adversity. The challenge is the desire of each to own their larger Truth rather than to having to play the game to maximize their leverage over their partner. For example, a person using Innocence cannot admit that they were using Innocence to manipulate their partner, but then expect their partner to believe in their Innocence after the event. It becomes clear that they have to completely maintain Innocence by denying any such pattern to keep their options open. This is also true with someone using Strength to attract others. If they admit their vulnerability, it reduces the Security the partner feels the next time they need their partner to be Strong. Initially, partners want to accept the simplicity that their partners are actually who they present themselves to be. The fallback position is to claim to tell our Truth as much as possible so our partner will, at least, be able to admire our commitment to being clear. While this does not provide superficial security, it does encourage a sense of integrity where our partner could come to Respect and Esteem us.

We recognize we are operating in this level of attraction by the need to define ourselves as an independent entity and maintain strong boundaries. We seek partners who will agree with our perceived self-beliefs without challenging us directly. It is paradoxical that, though we see ourselves as independent players, we still seek our partner’s affirmation of who we think we are. This occurs because our partner had a hand in defining who we were at the beginning of the relationship. The more we rely on their perceptions of us, the more easily we fall into Co-Dependent patterns. These patterns emerge based on our self-perception of our strength relative to our partner’s self-perceived strengths. The illusion that we contribute more to our partners than they do to us exists because we value more what we contribute rather than what we receive. We see what we create as more valuable than what our partner creates because, defensively, we must believe we are superior to them to justify our defense. As we unconsciously elevate our superiority (paradoxically), the more we feel we need the validation of others.

What keeps us trapped in Intellectual Attractions is when we operate with the Motives of Personal Dominion, Personal Achievement, and Self-Centered Activity. Personal Dominion is when we seek respect using our position or possessions to demand the attention we believe we deserve. Personal Achievement reflects a need to demonstrate our capacity in a way that supersedes any team recognition. Self-Centered Activity is when we attempt to limit the input of others because of our own preoccupation with personal entertainment. The common motivation in each one of these Motives is to make sure that we are not giving too much at the cost of our long term being. Besides becoming more conscious about Defensive differences at this level of attraction, we start to become aware of the differences in our complexity of consciousness, which we call the seven stages of World View. More about this topic can be found in the discussions about Compatibility Factors. Finally, our personal focus on proving our own creativity drives us to be outwardly successful so that we can assert a high degree of self-esteem and self-respect relative to others.

This creates an incentive to grow apart and outside of the relationship rather than confront the fears of our partner. Also, our partners are upset with us when we turn our weaknesses into strengths because it tends to decrease their security, as we may not need them as much. Since everything is measured in terms of need fulfillment it seems impractical to pursue Mutual Growth when we are more productive on an individual level. This creates a system of strong opposing positions falsely believing that the one who can hold out the longest is going to be the winner. Both individuals are losers because we experience only isolation, not Intimacy in our interactions. Our defensive differences consume much of the energy so there is little left over. The real problem is that we have to continue to maintain our agreements that prevent us from owning our own inner conflicts. As a result the relationship becomes bogged down in power struggles where each party establishes “taboo” areas where we require that our partner does not engage us. While we see beyond the superficial Innocence and outward Strength positions, we have nothing to use to replace these patterns (which reveals our fundamental fears). Therefore, we distract ourselves by focusing on outward goals where we have little passion but the desire for long-term security. The keynote of intellectual expression is Co-Dependence, where we seek out partners that complement our existing skills.

This is called defensive attraction, where we attract opposites on multiple levels. We get attached to the “realness” of operating from different perspectives, falsely believing that it protects us from making mistakes. Communication becomes the indicator of whether we are being successful in the relationship or not. What we are learning is discrimination, which is reflected in the intellectual sensory modality we employ in our assessments of others: taste. Taste reflects the pursuit of refined and discriminating ways of being. Taste and its opposite, anal retention, metaphorically symbolize that intellectual attractions need to be assimilated, then eliminated. Since we can only hold on to taste in our memories, it is best to address our attraction in the moment and not seek to carry these experiences forward. Doing so makes the experiences more real, delicate, and sensual because we are not trying to hold on to them. The opposite, anal retention, is when we try to fixate on what we want without understanding the effect it has on us. We confuse quantity with quality. We lose our ability to discriminate because we are overwhelmed in our attempt to control circumstances that are uncontrollable.

We can see this in our sensory attractions based on the use of our tongue. While we do tend to fall in love with our own voice at this level, we can also demonstrate our sensory distortions through oral fixations, the least offensive of which (that can be discussed in polite company) is French kissing. While there is nothing wrong with French kissing, it can be a form of expression that reflects prevailing attitudes of dominance and submission between partners. This is greatly accentuated when one partner uses their tongue to “subjectify” the other. Remember, subjectification is where we view our Thoughts about another as more powerful than their Thoughts. This means that any activity done with the intention of putting others at the effect of us is a subjectification of them. French kissing can be a way of demonstrating our interest but also a way of setting the stage by establishing the framework that our partners must engage to be with us. Whenever our partner establishes in detail the framework necessary to connect, and demands conformance, it requires our partner to sacrifice some aspect of themselves. Subjectification (where we must satisfy the demands of others to keep the relationship) occurs in many frameworks where we need to demonstrate some form of superiority to offset any superiority our partner demonstrates. This arises as a reaction to all the times that we did not take charge, express ourselves, or speak our Truth.

Our partner can even use subjectification in a positive manner by placing us at the effect of the pleasure they are providing. We often see examples of an individual reveling in their ability to sexually please their partner, so they can experience their vulnerability. What we seek in this situation is an edge that we can use to reinforce our own superiority. This pattern can also be seen in our need to constantly repeat a communication and overwhelm our partner with our Intensity, so they learn not to contradict us. Over time our partners can be worn down by our paternalistic attitude and our need to prove them wrong. The only thing that keeps our partner from fully taking advantage of this is the knowledge that we can retaliate. Since we both know the other’s weaknesses and fears, it is relatively easy to undermine our partner’s confidence, self-esteem and self-respect. It is ironic that keeping ourselves operating in a small degree of anxiety and stress over performing for our partner seems to increase their security that we want to engage them. In Higher Alignment, we call this process Vibratory Response because we unconsciously believe being with others who are different will stimulate us to be better performers.

The goal of Vibratory Response is to overcome our preconceptions about differences. The core issue is accepting the creative uniqueness of our contribution and the response it generates from others. We learn to be more effective working with oppositional energy. It requires that we see the gift in the differences before we are able to move forward. This calls forth an inner witness that is no longer defined by outer positions and fixed perspectives. We discover how to manifest this neutral attitude to generate the security required to share leadership in any community process. This cultural awakening, where we learn to enjoy and utilize the diversity around us, neutralizes our fear that we will not be seen and heard, so our contribution naturally emerges. Of course, we also have the choice to use Vibratory Response to demand concessions from others. The more we get caught up in our own issues, the harder it is to see how our security concerns are actually reflections of the security issues of others. Instead, we can be so preoccupied that we believe our personality perspective that we need to acquire what we need with force, if necessary. When this occurs we frequently deny any true choice and paradoxically end up defining our self in terms of our partner’s fears, rather than seizing the opportunities presented to us.

The lesson of Vibratory Response is to understand to what degree we are able to effectively unify with another based on differences and uncomfortable similarities. If we attempt to unify with others who are complete opposites of us, we need to be extremely conscious, so we will be able to operate in a discriminating way with them. The more similarities and common points of reference, the less conscious we need to be. This reflects the reality that we have limits as to how much tension we can hold and still work effectively together. Diagram 14: Vibratory Response: The Path To Truth reflects how we need to unify our own Emotions and Thoughts in order to be able to engage (without reaction) the Emotions, Thoughts, and passion of others. The purpose of Vibratory Response is to use differences to enhance our capacity to grow and embrace each other’s point of view. When used selectively, it is an extremely powerful tool. When over-used, it can keep us from being Co-Creative on any level. The primary indication that the differences or uncomfortable similarities are too great is an unwillingness to do creative projects with the other. Instead, we fear that the relationship will fall apart if we actually realize the degree that we are not creatively aligned.

When we no longer need to define our value and Truth in terms of our partner, it eliminates Intensity and unconscious competition through the healing process of Vibratory Response. This principle requires that we affirm, honor and define our Truth separate from the Truth of others, so we know what choices will compromise us and which will not. The more we do not know our Truth, the more we seek defensive power over others to maximize our security. We do this by attempting to get others to accept our perceptions over their own. This process is known in Higher Alignment as Subjectification because it seeks to put others at the effect of our Emotions and Thoughts. When we are able to balance and heal the disconnection between our Emotions and Thoughts (which are the foundation for our Truth), we can be powerful with others. We can release our defensive attractions based on Innocence, Strength, and Personal Autonomy, wherever our perception of power is the degree others need us. We come to accept our own Creative Truth. We experience that another’s Truth does not compromise or limit us in any way. Our ability to be present in our own Truth (without compromise) shifts our energetic alignment with others. We become attractive and attracted to conscious individuals who match our Vibratory Responsiveness.

Vibratory Response (where we experience inner and outer integration), suggests that we learn to accept what is so we can manifest together in alignment with the universe. Instead of seeking a partner who complements our skills, interests, and aptitudes, can we choose individuals who are minimally defensive and creatively expressive? If we can, we are then able to create our own sense of security and do not need the other’s support. This means we can operate from a central Wisdom that becomes the foundation for Mutual Realization. This process is maximized when we can mutually share our Truth and are able to create common Truth outside of our own orbit. All Intensity must be transformed in the relationship so that self-knowledge can become common understanding and Wisdom. We use diversity to manifest Unity, which utilizes a Vibratory Response to focus and direct our mutual creative expression. Can we share our resources in a way that accentuates our natural abundance and mutual effectiveness in the world? If we can, the content of any situation no longer daunts or overwhelms us.

We repress our Truth by denying our Emotions or Thoughts, or both. When we deny our emotional well being, it strangles our Thoughts because Emotions are required for healthy thinking. Emotions are required to organize and manage our thought processes. Since Emotions provide the support to see the context of our Truth, when we are denied, illusion becomes a major issue. Becoming self-reflective about our emotional Truth allows us to unpack the fixed ways we have tried to protect ourselves. Some individuals choose a safe range of Emotions and deny everything else. Others prevent Emotions from gaining any control in their lives by moderating their ability to be expressed. Both ways limit our capacity to use Emotions effectively to develop and embody our Truth intellectually. When we are emotionally repressed, we become serious and are unable to respond in new ways with others. Our Thoughts cannot be powerful without imagination, passion and playfulness.

When we deny our Thoughts, the energy builds up as repressed Intensity, Anxiety and Insecurity. We commonly feel unimportant and think no one will listen to us. This belief, that others will not consider our opinions, leads to dramatic demands (on those with whom we are most close) that they follow our suggestions to the letter. We fall into the pattern of either not expressing our Thoughts (for fear of being judged) or over-expressing our Thoughts (where we do not listen to others). This reflects either an attachment to the position that we are helpless to change circumstances, or the belief that no matter what we do, nothing will change unless we fight for it. This is why we become attached to arguing and fighting. It reflects a polarity of feeling hopeless (giving up) or asserting our view over others without realizing that no one really wants to engage us.

When we deny both our Emotions and Thoughts, we end up imitating others by playing roles where we need constant reassurance. This is reflected in the need for outer authorities to tell us what our Truth is. We are unwilling to examine the Truth of our own experience for fear it will be different than the authorities we esteem and respect. This is due to the fact that we always doubt the completeness of our own experience and believe we are missing something when we do not come up with the same conclusion. This also promotes a great deal of co-dependence where we learn how to manage the differences with partners by ignoring aspects that do not match our expectations of who they are. Vibratory Response requires that we develop our Inner Knowing so we can distinguish the Truth of others from their false expectations and projections. Otherwise, we get trapped in processes that never lead to positive results.

The key skill to develop is to visualize our Truth as wholly independent from others’. Instead of assuming others should share our Truth, we can seek to understand the perceptions of others, creating a common area for mutual discovery (in those areas where we do experience alignment). Vibratory Responsiveness occurs when there is an acceptance and alignment on emotional and intellectual levels. This allows us to expand beyond limited self-perceptions and be enriched by the new ways we come to understand the problems we seek to confront. When we can consciously merge Emotions and Thoughts, we do not seek defensive power because we experience our authentic creative power. The fire of the Emotions is fed by air, energizing and inspiring our visions. The opportunity to use the tension of unconscious attractions shifts us into conscious attraction where we can be creative with each other.

This also requires letting go of fixed positions and defensiveness so we can neutralize any differences, allowing us to co-create fully together. Our Intensity becomes an appreciation of differences. Our Thoughts become a springboard to Co-Creation, eliminating the pressure and fear that we will not be able to contribute. This is the aspiration of many individuals in relationship—we believe we should be able to turn any differences into opportunities for creative expression. The reason this does not occur is that we choose individuals where the differences are greater than our self-awareness can mitigate. Our intellectual fear overcomes our emotional desire to co-contribute, and we remain caught up in the illusion that we need to do everything on our own.  The consciousness required is an ability to see beyond the differences so we can work together. The more we reinforce our comparative concrete thinking, the less likely we will be able to engage Vibratory Responsiveness.

We practice the process of Vibratory Response in any meditation we do. Meditation has three phases: Mindfulness, Attentiveness, and Wisdom. When we subjectify our Thoughts to get others to agree with us, we lack all three of these qualities. With Mindfulness, we have an awareness of all that arises so that we can neutrally observe our Thoughts, Feelings, and images so we can pay attention to the void between the Thoughts. With Attentiveness, we are able to focus on one over-arching theme without being defined by our Thoughts. If we are caught up in our Thoughts, we have regressed into concentration, and are not meditating in that moment. Finally, when we reach a state of Wisdom, we can enter into the void and realize our experience, as a mediator is not one of managing our Thoughts. Vibratory Response is a capacity to experience something without being defined by it. As soon as we fall into the trap of letting the outside guide our processes of thought, we open ourselves to Illusion. Subjectification also opens us up to Illusion because, by encouraging others to define themselves in terms of our Thoughts, we are unwittingly at the effect of their Thoughts.

In this process, we use either a light bulb (less than 15 watts) or a symbol of a blue star, to invoke the experience of being in our Truth. See Diagram: A Blue Star to use this element to evoke light in any meditation. Using the same guidelines as the rose process in Cellular Affinity, we establish ourselves in comfortable, erect seating, and spend up to twenty minutes at a time focusing on the perfection of our Self Knowing: Mindfulness, Attentiveness, and Wisdom. Some individuals find it valuable to initially use a focusing process, where we turn inward from the turmoil of the concrete activities of the mind. This can be accomplished through the practice of Neti, Neti, Neti (which means not this, not this, not this). Meditation helps us to release our need for an object in order to engage a thought. Since objects evoke sensory associations not necessarily useful in a meditation process, letting go of objects as an organizing principle will become an indication of our ending the need to subjectify Thoughts. In this way, we release any craving for sensory objects, personality desires, daydreams, or analytical thinking so we become more attuned to the deeper aspects of our intuitive mind. Use the light or blue star to establish the inner value of our Truth or knowing. See our Self as the light or blue star. Visualize our Truth radiating out from our Being. See how it cannot be blocked or denied unless we are afraid to be seen in our Truth.

When we can be the Light, we can also embrace the darkness. Our self-acceptance of our design allows us to honor how Light is a progressive and unfolding process. This experience will help to illuminate the true meaning we give our lives. It will also assist us in conducting ourselves in a manner that supports others being in and expressing their Truth. No longer will we operate from the illusion that there is an outer, fixed Truth. Instead, there is just our self-realized Wisdom and how much of this Wisdom is reflected back to us from others. Practice letting go of any grasping to fixed information, knowledge and positions, realizing that doing so only reduces the light that we are seeking to share. Consider how Vibratory Response can help us find ways to create a common Truth by beginning with common needs and objectives. Imagine releasing all need to externalize our light in any particular way. Consider how others will respond when we use Light to illuminate our path. What we are suggesting is that it takes a certain way of seeing the Light in our lives to appreciate that we are not at the effect of external Knowledge. Our society believes that Knowledge is the source of its power and prestige. It is the perspective of Higher Alignment that our true power lies in our ability to honor our Wisdom with others.

Individuals who meditate on this Blue Star will soon experience Light in the shape of stars that both outline the star and encompass it. While these may be sensory tricks caused by the color and shape it does make the point that there is more to what we see than the object of what we see. By practicing this type of seeing on a regular basis, we discover that our positions that we thought provided Security actually limit and minimize our power and knowing. Any time we need an object to think, it sets up the situation where we believe superficially that we know what we are talking about, when in fact we are relying on a structure that may not be consistent with the Content of the object’s expression. To make this simpler, we confuse or deny symbolic understanding with a concrete, linear understanding of the situation. Let us open our thinking processes and begin to see the relationships that tend to predefine what we interpret in our lives. Let us release our Attachments to preconceived positions so that we will notice when circumstances have changed or shifted. This is the benefit of releasing our Subjectification and stepping into a multi-modal understanding of our Wisdom.

Our Truth is redefined completely when we stop using Subjectification and defensive positions as a foundation for our assertion of what we know. This may seem heretical to some at first - any external Truth that cannot stand the inner scrutiny of our own knowing should not be relied upon. One of the major causes of a defensive polarization in the world is the acceptance of Truths that cannot be validated by our own inner experience. Instead we accept the symbols and beliefs of others in place of our own Truth, which establishes a superficial way of thinking. The real problem is that we cannot tell the difference when we are operating in others’ beliefs or in our own experience. This is why Intensity has become so prevalent in our society. Intensity reflects disconnects and projections of superficial Truths upon each other believing that we possess actual experiences to back our Thoughts up. Actually, all we possess is second-hand symbolic representations that were prepackaged in a way where we did not have to engage our own knowing and develop our own unique experience. Vibratory Response helps us to awaken to what is real in our own experience so we can meet others where they are true to their own experience.

We neutralize any polarities when we are able to consciously connect with another and they with us. Old intellectual attractions die in the face of new ways to energetically connect. This is why we suggest that people engage creative projects early in their relationships, so we benefit from the transformation that occurs when working as a team toward a larger endeavor. When this occurs, our sense of Unity, Resourcefulness, and Wisdom increases dramatically. In personal relationships, this commitment to a common goal can produce tremendous intimacy. Vibratory Response produces bonding as our ability to unify our Thoughts grows. The choice we confront is whether we will continue to under-accept (deny our thought power) or over-accept (grasp through positions) our Thoughts so that we are consistently isolated from the Universe. Objectives of Attraction provides a framework for seeing how our Attachments, Positions, and Projections minimize our ability to attract those individuals who would be able to be effective partners. The result is that we get caught up in levels of relationship that become hard to overcome. Let us accept that we have a choice and can express it evenly and succinctly. The more we do, the greater we will pour Light into our life. The structure and content of our choices will be revealed.

Operating at this level of attractions demands that we become clearer and can speak our Truth (even when others resist us). This reflects a greater degree of individuation but we will not fully manifest our Autonomy until we are able to also accept the Truth of others as they are. Full Autonomy requires that we are able to listen to the Truth of others and share our Truth in a harmless way so they are able to hear us. We only develop this skill when we can let go of our need to be serious and engage the world more playfully. Letting go of our preconceptions about who we are allows us to be more flexible in discovering our current Truth. The more we realize that our defensive positions create and amplify much of our anger

and fear, the more likely we will be able to move into higher levels of attraction. Another reflection of this is demonstrated in how we move from Comparative Thinking (where we continually discriminate the relative value of something relative to something else) to Unity Thinking (where we focus on a mutual understanding and course of action). Usually the motivation of Comparative Thinking is to force some kind of alignment with our own understanding. The Motive of Unity Thinking is Common Understanding.

Can we honor our Truth while simultaneously honoring the Truth of others? We complete our lessons at this level when we no longer limit or over-express our Truth. In other words, we learn to live in our Truth and realize that since no one can affect our Truth, we no longer need to hide it or overstate it. We overstate our Truth when we talk over others and are not willing to listen to their Truth. The problem we need to overcome is the Success Trap, where we falsely compare ourselves to others, believing we need to exceed what others accomplish and have. The solution is to recognize that we are a unique combination of experiences that direct and sculpt our contribution in a particular manner, making it impossible for others to compete with us.

Outer success focuses us on comparing ourselves to others rather than accepting there is an authentic way of being, which can be immensely more satisfying. Of course, many of us become distracted from making this inner connection with our Truth because of the beliefs we have come to accept in an outwardly competitive world. When we accept our true creative power, we are no longer attracted to the “trappings” of power, nor do we find ourselves interested in the shortcuts of artificial power that others represent to us. In this way we can see the shortcomings of “knowledge as power” and recognize that true creative power reflects the acceptance of our own Creative Knowing and an ability to meet others in a common knowing. All else promotes a lack of learning and growth.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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