Healing Subjectification

Subjectification is a step on the path to higher consciousness. While is separates us from our truth, it awakens us to the need for truth. It is about polarized knowledge that distorts our actions. It compromises our Wisdom or light, so we are stuck in Defensive frameworks. When we use these compromises to reverse-engineer our best contributions, we are able to recognize unseen opportunities. In this way we deconstruct our need to perform into a natural way of connecting to make a difference with others. It is not Personality Power we seek, but authentic Creative Power that is shared, thus regenerating our Co-Creative Nature.

When we complete the Content level, we actually develop the qualities of Unity Thinking, and our knowing becomes paradoxically independent. The benefit of developing these skills is that we do not need to be defensive. Any attempt to prove what we know actually shows how insecure we are about what we know. When others cannot change our knowing, it allows us to be transformed by the process. At the same time, when we do know ourselves, we are not attached to who we are. This means we’re willing to make accommodations for others if it serves a greater purpose. The more we know about ourselves, the more we give ourselves permission to act outside of our basic patterns. We become less conditioned and more playful in our interactions in the world. The irony is that we release any seriousness because it is only a conditioned thought process.

Criticism always begins on the inside. It reflects judgments that we cannot hope to live up to and so we project those onto others, looking for their faults. It damages all that it touches. It tends to amplify perfectionism and produces a sense of separativeness and isolation. When it builds up, it creates hatred and antagonism. This can actually become an energy that poisons others, which we call Imperil. Since criticism is an attempt to make others feel our pain, it has a bitterness and vileness that we tend to hide behind sarcasm and wittiness. This does not mean we do not feel the hatred or separativeness that these individuals convey. Ironically, individuals at this level of relationship tend to believe that this Intensity is actually an experience of love. In reality, when individuals adopt Defenses, it protects them from others, and protects others from this sense of disconnected hatred.

This shift from a partial awareness of who we are to appreciating that we are more than we can possibly understand makes Defenses obsolete. This requires us to accept our Creative Nature. We need to stop thinking of knowledge as the answer. It is Wisdom, or the ability to combine our natural three ways of knowing or contributing, that makes us authentic. The more we know, the more we realize that it is our way of thinking, not what we know, that makes us human. It is our ability to think beyond our limited mental conditioning or Imprinting that makes us conscious participants. Individuals who cannot or will not think outside of their own defensive box have little or no ability to redirect or re-purpose their lives. In our defensive pattern, we operate according to the aspirations or beliefs of our parents about who we should be. We are merely products of our past, which prevents us from evolving and re-defining our Nature. Instead of perceiving the world as a glass half empty, we grow to see the world as half full. This allows us to be more open to the integration of undefined possibilities.

Shifting our thinking means being able to move from deductive or inductive thought processes to more open-ended wholeness inspired Unity thinking. What is required for Unity thinking is Playfulness, Paradox, Mutual Learning and a solution orientation. Instead of trying to burrow down on what is wrong, we need to see what is working and amplify it. This type of different thinking is critical to release ourselves from the strictures of Subjectification. While this process is greatly enhanced on Level 3, we need to initiate it on Level 2 to begin the self-forgiveness process. Instead of being self-critical and focused on the inner dialogue of what is wrong, we need to learn to relax and affirm impulses that drive us to question the way it is currently done. While this may make our heads hurt initially, over time we develop a new skill, which is being able to see things from a positive point of view that is based on affirming solutions.

What makes our self-identity complete is when we are able to combine our Thoughts and Emotions into a unified knowing our Truth is experienced. Without balancing our Thoughts and Emotions, our objective and subjective perspectives cannot support our independent Truth. Fragmentation, where we cannot be introspective or re-assess any Thought or Emotion, indicates a separation, conflict or disturbance within our selves. To make sense of these conflicts, a part of our personality unifies and coalesces around certain Beliefs. This will create Subjectification patterns where we rely on the perspective of others or deny their input in order to maintain our own illusions. This is how we take on fixed Positions, either denying or affirming our masculine (objective) or feminine (subjective) sides. This creates inner arguments where one part of our personality becomes dominant and imposes itself on the other part. As a result, what we affirm in ourselves becomes a war, not just of the subservient parts of ourselves, but with anything that reminds us of these unbalanced parts. In an attempt to protect ourselves, we lose connection with the parts of us that provide greater understanding (Wisdom) and integration with others. We can see this when we cannot admit that we do not know something.

The goal is to have comprehensive, inclusive experiences. The more our experiential Modalities (Thoughts and Emotions) are integrated, the harder it is to be deceived. We cannot see our deception (or how we deceive others) when we limit our engagement of our own Thoughts, Emotions, Feelings and Sensations. Most of us either over-do or under-do each of these Modalities based on our upbringing. For example, an individual who over-does Sensations and Thoughts is instinctively attracted to persons who will over-do Feelings and Emotions. What we commonly seek in a partner is someone who over-does a Modality that we under-do. We could also have more complex patterns when we are also seeking partners who match incomplete parental patterns. Overall, we attempt to reduce our inner fragmentation by finding partners who will compensate for our imbalances. This opens the door to acting out addictive patterns with our partner. In particular, when we have gaps in our Modality framework we can be manipulated, controlled and mislead by opposite Defense Style partners.

One way to honor our Truth and let go of Defenses is to accept the perfection of our outer masculine and feminine balance. When not connecting to our Truth, we unconsciously seek out others who deny their Truth. This shows up as being attracted to our opposite type, believing that their counterbalancing qualities will save us or make it easier to deal with life. While this Security-motivated choice seems complimentary, it prevents alignment and promotes unsustainable Personality Desires. It is these Desires that pull us into co-dependence. Eventually, because we did not take care of our Self, we end up believing that we cannot live without our partner. This leads us to the choice we must make between affirming ourselves and our completeness, or continuing to see ourselves as a dependent person. No one else but you can make this choice. Symbolically, we are all five-pointed stars, seeking to let our light shine. We choose a blue star to meditate on our Truth, recognizing that we need to balance our Emotions and Thoughts, to overcome our fixations on Security. The blueness of the star indicates Security. In short, we need to accept our abundance, and empower our inherent creative design.

By seeing the wholeness of our Truth, we do not need others to affirm it. Otherwise, fulfillment will constantly elude us. What would it take to step into our Truth, rather than live in the limitations of our Defensive pattern? How do we know when we are on the path and when we have become sidetracked? Do we have a way to expand our ability to contribute that empowers us? Are we able to distinguish what Desires serve us from those that do not? It all comes down to weeding our mental gardens in order to eliminate the Thoughts and Emotions that limit us to the past. What we want to fertilize in these gardens is the creative Striving that beats within our heart. All it takes is releasing ourselves from holding our known Defensive positions so that we can be detached from these personality Survival and Success perspectives. There is no need to grab for what the universe is attempting to give you.  

Shifting from a fixed point of view to a more open, creative acceptance of who we are takes trusting ourselves. It means confronting the great unknown. When we can distinguish our defensive patterns from our Creative Nature, it opens a doorway to being with others that was not there previously. First, we do not just argue with people anymore because we see how much energy it takes and that it goes nowhere. Second, if we accept that we are not our Defense, we do not feel compelled to act out indignation. This allows us to clarify what we are reacting to and handle it internally in our own time. Third, if we are accepting our own defensive nature, we are able to accept the defensive frameworks of others and recognize when they are defined by their behaviors. Fourth, we end up being more compassionate with them and do not take what they say personally by keeping it within the CNG. Fifth, we recognize and support their true, Authentic Expressions, which empowers us to align with their inner Truth. This ends up feeling supportive to them, rather than the usual distancing they experience with others.

Wisdom is the natural result of accepting our Truth in relationship to the Truth of others. Our truth and the Truth of others need to coexist if we are to be complete. The more we are open to our experience, the more clearly we see the Truth of others. This allows us to create mutual Truths and alliances that can empower our creative growth. One of the aspects of similarities is when we have common experiences, perspectives and ways of responding in the world. Most importantly, we learn how to trust others which, initially, is only to the degree they can trust themselves. Another key tool we develop at this level is the ability to agree that we are not in agreement. Being able to accept our differences without personalizing them is a huge opportunity. This is because we are no longer threatened by the Truths of others. We realize that no one can impose their Truth on us and we always have choice within our Truth and how we express it. We have built a capacity for greater Autonomy inside ourselves and, can now invite others (who would have been outside our comfort zone previously) to participate with us.

We break out of defensive patterns by unifying our self with the Universe. Since defensive Positions are fundamentally isolating and distance us from our connection with ourselves, we need to reverse this to experience the support of the Universe. The best way to accomplish this is to create a balanced connection within ourselves. This reflects Life, Light and Love energies, connecting our Self to a common space where we feel we are interacting with the Universe. We call this process setting up a Common Neutral Ground with our Self. The first step in this process is to be present and balanced within our selves. This is accomplished in three simple steps: We start with our Brow Center or Third Eye Center and use our fingers to touch this location. We then imagine setting up a circular energy flow between this chakra and our Root Center at the base of the spine. We create a necklace of energy rotating counter-clockwise, moving energy from our Brow Center to our Root Center and back up to our Third Eye.

We then touch our Throat Center and imagine our creative energy circulating to our Sacral Center, counterclockwise, and back to the Throat Center. As we establish these energy circles, we imagine them pulsating and hold them steady until the momentum is sufficient to maintain them. In order to complete the balancing and integration, we move to the third circle from our Heart Center to our Solar Plexus then back to the Heart. Imagine Love energy stabilizing and supporting our Creative Power. In each of these three locations, Third Eye, Throat and Heart, we are bringing into play higher, more inclusive Motives that help align and organize our lower centers. This establishes a more receptive integration of our energy fields so that when we focus on the center six inches above our heads, we can establish a six-inch bubble, where we invite higher, Universal energies to engage us. In some ways, this bubble is like a chalice, where we surrender to Universal Intent.

When we connect ourselves to the Universe, it permits us to have a greater exchange because we are no longer pushing the Universe away from our personal space. Since we always have the ability to isolate ourselves from the Universe, because we are co-creative elements within it, we may not have realized how this prevented us from receiving support. Defensive isolation is the source of most neuroses and the distortions of Objectification, Subjectification and Idealization. When we acknowledge that we are a Co-Creative Being, it is because we see the Universe as a partner in this experience. As such, we start to reflect on what we are doing and if it is serving the greater Common Good, or not. When we find ourselves being supported by others’ involvement in what we do, it is an indication that this is in alignment with Universal Intent. The opposite is also true.

We greatly assist the release of our Defenses when we are able to intellectually and emotionally embrace the masculine and feminine sides of our Nature. Since everyone initially has a Defense, we all need to widen the channels of our energy to be more inclusive and less reactive to what others say to us. This is most easily accomplished by recognizing that we have both a masculine and feminine point of view. The masculine point of view is usually task-oriented, time-focused and directive in its search for tools that provide ways to leverage things so they can be more effective. The feminine point of view is relationship-oriented, spatially focused, evoking creative responses based on inner connections that are not always obvious. Nurturing the Mystery of organic Life expression from the inside out is usually the feminine path. When we take on defensive Positions that reflect one of these points of view at the cost of another, it means we are limiting our own Creative Expression.

We all tend to gravitate to either masculine or feminine expressions of Life, Light and Love. What if we shifted this into mutual expressions of honoring our selves and others equally? What if we were able to see that we want every point of view represented to embrace the solutions needed in our future? Doing so prevents inappropriate, defensive projections of what is ‘right’ onto others. We need to open up a greater possibility that there is no such thing as ‘right or wrong’ in the pursuit of Truth. There are just more inclusive or less inclusive choices. We can be more inclusive by embracing mutual Truths rather than fixating on personal perspectives.

This shift within us is about seeing every aspect of ourselves, recognizing that we cannot love ourselves if we cannot honor our wholeness. We need to appreciate that we are striving to contribute more of who we are and let go of our Imprinting, Pretenses and Defenses. Most of the time, the process of learning who we are not consumes most of our life energy. In a relationship, we initially feel connected (even in our differences) through common mutual needs. As soon as we identify our authentic contribution, we do not have to compromise our selves by choosing co-dependent partners. This is why, at Higher Alignment, we initially work to make sure we know who we are creatively so we have a basis for expressing our Truth. The main recommendation is to not accept a premise about ourselves without first examining it fully. Internalize only what you resonate with energetically.

Healing Defenses means we can experience Self Respect and Self Esteem equally. Self Respect is a feminine embodiment, where we honor our potential and engage new opportunities without concern. Self Esteem is based on our track record and how we were able to make consistent improvements. This reflects the embodiment of the masculine because it is time-oriented and specific in terms of tasks being addressed and handled. We admire individuals with Self Esteem and Adore individuals with Self Respect. When the two are balanced, our ability to love ourselves is greater and it permits us to deeply love others. 

We can validate this by placing equal attention on both the Aliveness and Wisdom of those around us. When we are Defensive, as Dynamics, we Trust those with Aliveness. Disarming individuals accept others with Wisdom. The more we eliminate our Defenses, the more we centralize around our Primary Creative Expression, bringing more Aliveness and Wisdom to the fore. This integration process forces us to take our areas of weakness and make them more visible. Whenever we feel a twinge of self-judgment about our supposed weaknesses, this allows us to see we have more strength than we realize. By learning how to appreciate that our inner connections with others can allow us to relax into new creative possibilities, we bring out the best in a situation. Nowhere is this more apparent than when we realize that how others react is mainly a reflection of their own fears (and not about us).

On a positive side, it takes real courage to confront our Defenses and see through our pain. The more we disregard the reasons why we believe we need a Defense style, the more we can recover our capacity to connect with others and appreciate them as they are. Learning how to express our vulnerability, so that others can see our commitment to go beyond the limitations of our lives, awakens them to their own opportunities. Can we release ourselves from our Defenses, Pretenses and Imprints to actually become more real? Are we willing to step outside the comfort zone of our history and engage the future with a greater desire to live our lives fully and creatively? This takes determination, a degree of capacity to see and affirm our Creative Nature, and an ability to sacrifice the partial positions that we have held for so long as our complete truth.

Becoming more inclusive means owning where we are in our strengths and embracing the areas we consider a weakness. Again, we can see that having a single point of view creates a solitary, single solution or answer. Because a single perspective is not balanced, the resolution cannot be balanced. This is why we need to have several points of view to fully appreciate the upsides and downsides of a particular answer. Since a Defense is always a single point of view, it will always be unbalanced and inadequate in producing a balanced solution. If we are willing to re-examine our standards and see that the way we value our needs is different from others, it opens the door to being more balanced in our acceptance of potential solutions.

One way to integrate our perspective could be to look at how we differentiate our interior versus external experience. This means we need to stop looking at things from a one-sided, partial perspective. The masculine focuses us on our interior experience and taking-care of itself. The feminine focuses us on our exterior experience, making sure we are doing well with others. When we can balance both by simultaneously operating internally and externally, it allows us to integrate our perspective and to be non-defensive.

The more we see and appreciate the wholeness of our being, the less we are attracted to the opposite Defenses of others. The individuals previously attractive to us become repulsive. Our ability to tune into different types of Creative Expression increases. We start wondering why we were so insecure that we limited relationship choices to those Defenses and Creative Expressions that are polarizing to us. Only Investigator Expression types and individuals with Think First or Second Communication Processes reach this type of conclusion easily. Other Intelligence types tend to resist coming to an understanding of what creates their whole Truth. They tend to get caught up in Imprinting, where they adopt the patterns of their parents in order to get seen. The problem is that Imprinting may work at first but, over time, it loses any ability to be effective. The more we define ourselves in terms of false perspectives of who we are, the more we will buy into opposite-attraction models. To heal this, we need to open up our thinking and be curious about what could make our internal perceptions complete.

Just like our Thoughts and Emotions, the Truth itself is invisible. What we see are the results of our creations. We know and experience the Truth when it aligns with the Universe and expresses itself through us into the world. While Truth is commonly thought of as knowledge or a reflection of Wisdom, this is only a partial perspective of the Truth itself. This is because Truth manifests in everything we know. We move and operate in a universe created by Truth that is constantly perfecting itself by bringing order and consciousness into being. This struggle to bring order and consciousness into being is internalized when we identify with our Defenses and assert our personal views over others. The source of our illusion is the misguided perception that being controlled by our programming is a form of independence. When we struggle for Awareness or strive for any type of awakening, it is merely our attempt to let more Light into our experience and develop independence. Sometimes, the best way to make this transition is to dismiss all the separative thinking that previously guaranteed our success or survival.

The more we honor our Truth, the clearer we become about who we are. We are able to see ourselves not just by what we do, but also by how we think and what we are attracted to. This allows us to begin to predict courses of action and recognize how they could unfold. Until this occurs, we are not really conscious of our own Attractions. As with Motives, Attractions can be grouped in four levels and three types on each level. Instinctive Attractions like Sexy, Smart and Reliable are biologically encoded in our DNA to maximize biological diversity. Innocence, Strength and Personal Autonomy are intellectual Attractions that speak to our desire to prove ourselves as capable partners in the world. Acceptance, Personality-Self Rejection and Intimacy help us focus on what makes us uniquely human so others can see these qualities. Attractions return to Aliveness, Wisdom and Awareness, where we recognize that Creative Chemistry with partners is ultimately the most satisfying choice.

At this level, we actually fall in love with the Defense of our partner, not their Creative Self. We believe that by helping our partner, we will come to deserve our own destiny. Instead of focusing on how we can contribute to each other, we focus instead on how our partner needs us.  Our need for Security preempts us from considering the real upside of the relationship. We also define ourselves as needing to acquire their Skills so that we can guarantee that they can’t hurt us if they leave us. We are defined as co-dependent, even though we seek to be more independent. The co-dependence creates a fixation on the negative side so that we are focusing on our Security. The need for Security causes us to fixate on acquiring things, people or places. Everything (including our partner) becomes objects to manage. We get addicted to mindless consumption and believe that the source of our stress is a lack of money, no matter how much money (or things) we have. This is why we often acquire things (as a substitute for real connection) only later to realize it that these do not mean anything to us. We only need to remember a time when we got something we thought we wanted, but immediately felt let down because it was not what we imagined.

On the second level of CNG, embodiment occurs when we know we have something to protect, but realize we can also easily manifest our own security. Level 2 is a constructed sense of integration where we trust our capabilities to manifest what we want. While it initially shows up as an intense desire to prove ourselves as capable, over time we are able to move from proving to accepting the truth of our own Nature. Proving means that we’re making an effort to show up externally in a different way than we internally see and accept ourselves. Until we can unify this duality there is no embodiment. We recognize our selves at this level by how much we need to do things on our own and cannot allow others to support us. We believe in the false notion that knowledge is power. We see knowledge as a way to manifest our defensive power, thinking that we can leverage circumstances to benefit us. To heal this, we need to think beyond our defensive Positions and accept our complete Truth, which is far more inclusive. Only when this occurs do we understand the difference between having power over someone versus mutually manifesting power with others. We can recognize this shift in how we move from insecurity and intensity to acceptance and wisdom.

In the CNG, we can unify our Feelings and Emotions even if we have not yet unified them internally. This eliminates any sharing of our Passion. Instead we emotionally push away or dump our unbalanced feelings and emotions on others because we do not have any space to respond. The value of a CNG, if we desire to use it to connect to others, is to air our differences in our self-perceptions allowing us to come into a more unified appreciation of our Truth. Initially, we might make one statement that reflects our emotional reality and another one that reflects our intellectual reality. From there we can see what possibilities emerge, and where they overlap. This is an interim way to make ourselves, and our process, more accessible to others and keep us from getting trapped in self-judgments that minimize our ability to be in our Truth. The big issue is to make the transition into holding our Truth in our own space so that it is available when needed. Some individuals find it easier to do this if they can lighten up their thinking, or focus their thinking by concentrating their thoughts. In lightening up our thinking, we expand the Context and give it more space to breathe. By concentrating it, we bring it together so it can more effectively line up with each element. This is a way of grounding ourselves and empowering the CNG to function more effectively.

In addition to integrating our Emotions and Thoughts when we manifest our Truth, we need to learn how to build it internally. Sometimes having conversations with our Self can lead to recognition of what our Truth is. The main issue is to be in harmony with our selves. Until we take ownership for eliminating the dualities of our Truth, we are always trying to present it externally, hoping others will agree with us, when what they think really does not matter. Being in unity with our Truth is satisfaction enough. Having a CNG, where we can share our Truth and receive whatever response we do, allows us to see what could work with another person in a mutual way. When talking with others, we do not gain any points or win anything by holding onto our perceptions. Our Truth is just our Truth. There is no Cracker Jack prize for being stubborn or trying to impose our Truth on others. This will just create negative reactions.

When we choose partners with opposite Compatibility Factors, it is an attempt to create the illusion of security. This type of comparative thinking lacks an ability to see the big picture. As a result, we keep getting caught in partial views of what we need that we can never fully manifest. As a result, we seek partners who we believe will value our contribution, only to find ourselves sabotaged by their need to be important and in control. This lesson is about having a great personal relationship, so we do not dump on others or look to them to complete us. The more we can affirm our own creativity and actually view ourselves as independent, the stronger we become in our capacity to contribute. It is also a way to build connections with another person without fixating on what they ‘mean’ to us. One of the main problems at this level is that we get hooked into loving the part of our partner that provides us security and placates our ego. We come to hate the part of our partner that needs to be reassured or supported in a way that compromises us.

Just imagine stripping away all of the intellectual Positions and perspectives of one of your friends to examine how you interact naturally with them. Without their information or expertise, could you appreciate this person and build rapport with them? For some of us, this would be very difficult, if not impossible, as we have come to count on how others do things for us. Sometimes their expertise becomes incorporated in our support system to the point that we forget it is not even our information base. We forget how much of what we know is a result of the people we know. This creates co-dependent patterns where we accentuate our independence but unconsciously define ourselves in terms of our need for support.

The opposite is also true, as some of us cut ourselves off from everyone and suffer because of it. In a CNG, we do not take on these Positions to reassure a partner. Instead, we lead by gracefully sharing our Truth without needing them to confirm our perceptions. This allows us to be more Autonomous since we do not need to be caretakers for our partner. If we choose our partner based on their capacity to understand and appreciate who we are, it is usually because we are choosing someone with the same Defense Style. This dramatically increases the odds that we are moving into the third level.

We make a transition out of the second level when we become clear about our own Truth and no longer need opposite-attraction partners to compensate for who we are. As long as we are not able to validate ourselves, we constantly seek to individuate by proving who we are to our partner. We want them to acknowledge us because it is a way to get seen for our success. This is actually a trap: we do not really want to win because it would mean that we constantly seek affirmation without any hope of true growth (a conceptual breakthrough beyond our defensiveness). What we want is the fantasy of affirmation without needing to further compromise ourselves. Since our partner seeks that same, we often find ourselves at an impasse.

Until we can stand in our Truth and operate from open Solitude, we will not experience security. Open Solitude is the capacity to independently establish our Truth so we are not compromising ourselves in terms of others, while simultaneously affirming an outgoing humility about what we do not know. There is no possibility for Growth until we are able to admit the unknown. We need to be sure we are engaging partners with sincerity and clarity about our commitment, rather than just accepting common societal assumptions that we demonstrate maturity only when we are in a relationship.

Choosing partners based on an alignment of Motives, Attractions and Relationship Skills would be much better than staying in compromised Opposite-Attraction relationships. Of course, the best solution would be to transform our existing relationships by manifesting the possibility that we could share our Truth and be uplifted by our differences. The biggest challenge with this is that we would have to find completely different reasons to be in relationship from what previously existed. We would need to be open to growth and change in terms of how we want to relate to each other. Otherwise, our increasing defensiveness would actually poison the relationship over time. The best option would be to start anew, so that we could see that the defensive patterns we have adopted are actually limiting our ability to relate to each other. This is why we recommend the Advanced Defensive Healing Course.

We eliminate Subjectification and Defensiveness by being harmless. Harmlessness is the capacity to see ourselves and others in our wholeness so that we are not displacing anger or ideas on others in a way that will be compromising. The challenge here is that different individuals have different degrees of sensitivity where things can become harmful. We recommend not saying things when we are upset or out of balance. Instead, we encourage individuals to work through the reaction that they are having within themselves so that they can get clear about what does and does not work within the circumstances. Only when we know our truth should we actually consider sharing it. Secondly, how we share it can make a big difference. If we personalize the problem, it will likely create reactions; others will believe we are trying to use our influence to get them to agree with us. Instead, we have to do the opposite, suggesting that our truth is just one perspective, and we are not in any way attempting to influence their perception by advocating a particular option.

Harm is really the misuse of leverage or influence. While it may not be obvious, we can be harmful when we Objectify, Subjectify, or Idealize others. Every Defensive Distortion attempts to manipulate perceptions for its benefit. While it may seem okay in certain situations, the closer you look, the more out of balance it is. When we are Objectifying the Beauty of a person, do we not actually make them a victim of the circumstances? When we call out a particular quality, is that quality being called out to offset some other perceived deficiency? In other words, why do we need to distract ourselves from our insecurities to emphasize strengths if what we actually are is naturally beautiful, truthful and good? The currency of these affirmations and covert denials cover up a society that is fixated on superficiality. The fact that we use these things to delineate our interest or lack of interest shows us how much our consciousness has been impacted by the choices of the people we have around us.

Common Neutral Ground facilitates our ability to distinguish who we are from what we know. Who we are is an agent of Universal Intent. We learn how to make an impact and a contribution by recognizing the domain we operate in. Some would characterize this as a world of Thought where we take ownership of a small piece so we can contribute to manifesting some new reflection of it. We build this ability to contribute by recognizing and expanding our conscious limits. One of the first expansions we recommend is creating a separate space for our relationships. This reduces confusion and allows us to grow quickly. Importantly, it allows us for clarification of our reactions from those of others. It also sets us on the path of realizing the differences in perspective that create their own reflections of the larger Truth around us. This means we are no longer surprised when others see the world differently than we do.