More About Effective Birth Order

The primary effect of birth order is the development of survival strategies, usually in the first 16 years of life. The goal of parental attention and investment dictates that firstborn children reflect and support parental desires and intentions (unless there is extreme conflict). A child will tend to meet the expectations of the parent; the parent will tend to visualize their firstborn as inheritors of the family name and reputation. The second-born will be seen as a person that connects with others strongly and loves to be affectionate and needed by others. The third-born they will see as knowledgeable, structured, capable and focused. The fourth-born is compassionate and supportive in the eyes of the typical parent, who visualizes them as caring and always there when they need them. The fifth child usually is seen and supported in their eccentricity and uniqueness. The sixth-born has the difficult role of integrating all the various sibling influences and showing new ways to combine them. Finally, the parent may view the seventh-born as a wild card, an unpredictable instigator and synthesizer, frequently speaking what the family is unconsciously feeling and thinking.

Why we call it effective Birth Order has to do with the real pecking order in a household. If a child dies, is incapacitated, or is removed effectively from family interactions (such as being raised by a relative in a different city), it is probably best not to count him or her. As such, a younger child would advance a rank. To make it easier to remember, we have named the first seven positions: 1) Authority, 2) Love, 3) Knowledge, 4) Compassion, 5) Eccentric, 6) Integrator, and 7) Synthesist. Each of these positions has a particular combination of strategies (attitudes, goals, and modes) it uses to gain acceptance and support. Currently our statistical success in matching families to this pattern is about 35%. Additional research could lead to improved guidelines and rules which may significantly increase our effectiveness. Please note that we can find in-depth coverage of Intellectual strategies (in the Attitudes Section), Emotional strategies (in the Goals Section), and Action strategies (in the Modes Section). Body types are covered in the previous section.