Confused Pacing

Pacing imprinting creates confusion about how we operate and what is internally joyful. When we are imprinted, we are taught to find our joy in others being pleased with us. In effect, we are trained to discount our own personal joy and believe that losing ourselves in what others need us to be is a real contribution. Our compromise becomes the standard which minimizes our ability to operate authentically. When we ignore our true pacing we are always at the effect of our energy because we do not take care of ourselves. The result when we are actually low paced is the we are always exhausted by attempts to speed up, When we are naturally low paced are attempts to slow down keep us from using our intelligences effectively, producing frustration when things do not come together. We end up affirming the artificial structure we create and deny the way we would naturally show up.

Pacing is also highly affected by imprinting. If individuals is not settled, solid, or congruent within themselves, they seek to identify with what they are most attempting to prove. Men sometimes try to appear fast so they won’t appear dumb. They usually have parents who are faster paced. Women are sometimes attempting to appear more grounded and so appear slower than they are. They usually have parents who are slower paced. The key is to subtract out the effort they are making to determine their true speed. You will know their true pacing when the degree of intimacy shifts, and you experience greater trust and unity.

A lot of these confusions can be tracked back to our parents. For example, if we were naturally Fast-Paced and we had Slow-Paced parents, over time we would grow up convinced that we were actually Slow-Paced, even though we did not experience joy in being Slow-Paced. Remember, the joy we would experience would be in others affirming our contribution to them by being Slow-Paced. What’s more, when we end up denying our Fast-Pace and adopt the Slow-Paced imprint, it also means that we lose ourselves in a façade that prevents others from seeing who we are. Being cut off from the source of our responsiveness means that we invest in the apparent safety and security of who we appear to be rather than who we naturally are. Usually, imprinting comes in many different gradations based on our need to get the approval of one parent during a certain period and another parent at another time. Another complication is the amount of imprinting our parents were doing around Pacing. This creates situations where our Fast or Slow Paced experiences were received differently. Over time, we kept upgrading our capacity to minimize our parent’s reactions by adopting certain ways of operating which gained their approval. We cut through our imprinting around Pacing when we accept our internal cycles of thoughts, feelings and action, which optimizes our ability to both, deepen and broaden who we are. When we find this natural cycle speed within us, it relaxes us and we become more present with everything around us. We will not experience the need to be different from who we are, which reinforces the inner perception that we have come home. This is why we call it Home-Base Pacing.