Acceptance

Individuals with a Goal of Acceptance are people-oriented. They usually attempt to make interactions with others tension-free and easier. Their need to reassure others that they are alright helps to make them easy to be with for others. Internally, they are most motivated to find bridges between themselves and others so that they can feel supportive to others wherever they are. What we want to do with this Goal is to Accept individuals in whatever way they want to be accepted. In this way, they are always trying to minimize conflict by finding the most positive framework in which to acknowledge others. The biggest challenge becomes how to accept oneself and others at the same time when there may be differences between us.

What drives individuals in Acceptance is their ability to see similarities in others and speak about them in a way that is honoring of all perspectives. In this way a goal of Acceptance person can be extremely open, responsive and loving to others because they are able to find ways to connect to each person uniquely. Individuals with a Goal of Acceptance are usually very strong humanitarians and have as a focus their ability to love others unconditionally, which we know as agape. While externally this Goal looks like it is self-deprecating from the outside, from the inside it is highly self-accepting. In fact, most individuals with a Goal of Acceptance have as one primary objective the goal of uplifting others into a better way of seeing themselves.

As a group-oriented Expression energy, they can be an incredible integrator who is able to bring people together to resolve any problem or conflict. They accomplish this not by being the primary instigator waking people up to different solutions, but by creating the space where others can share their insights in ways that wake up the group and yet keep the group unified. One of the most irritating things to people in a Goal of Growth is that the individuals in Acceptance seem to have many Goals that shift in and out as needed. They complain that Acceptance individuals aren’t deepening themselves by focusing their attention or activity. What a person in a Goal of Growth needs to learn is that people in a Goal of Acceptance is accomplishing all they want to accomplish by being with people, not by performing any activity. Many of the spiritual leaders of our times, as well as earlier times, had a Goal of Acceptance. This allows them to meet others where they are and not become entangled in lower level objectives that do not have a profound effect on others.

Individuals who are burned out doing Acceptance can be ingratiating, insincere, and isolating. The more a person in a Goal of Acceptance is in tune with themselves, the more outgoing and warm they are in being with others. One of the key indicators is their natural altruism and desire to see the best in others. The challenge is to learn how to focus on people and connect people through an inner process. The more an individual with a Goal of Acceptance is pushed into doing activities for others, the more likely they will be ineffective at serving and satisfying the people around them. In this way, it is important for others not to take advantage of those with Acceptance Goal and try to make them servants or to take them for granted that they are just going to be there come rain or shine. When we are overwhelmed in our Acceptance we can swing into Discrimination to focus our interests and activities on those people who will make a difference in our lives. Eventually, we open up to everyone when we have recovered our energy. In the United States, the Goal of Acceptance is the second largest reflecting almost 30% of the population.

When individuals have Acceptance imprinting, their goal is to make others happy no matter what. This is different with a true Goal of Acceptance who just wants to serve their friends by being present with them. The more a person has Acceptance imprinting, the more they care about their reputation and what others think about them. Individuals who naturally have a goal of Acceptance are willing to be with people who are not happy and/or are dissatisfied and in pain. This is because they have an innate curiosity and interest in discovering why people are the way they are. When we are imprinted with Acceptance, we are only willing to be around others on a superficial level because we are not connecting to them on a deeper creative level.

An individual embodying a goal of acceptance expresses a heightened degree of connectedness to others. Others around this person feel extremely safe and secure, and able to express their own truth, no matter what the situation. Acceptance imprinting typically creates reactions in others, who do not feel safe and secure. Instead, individuals experiencing the acceptance imprinting feel a sense of judgment and exclusivity. The irony of acceptance imprinting is that a person doing acceptance imprinting unconsciously attempts to get the agreement of others in a forceful way, which promotes reactions in others.

Primary Contribution—To support conflict resolution with other individuals.
Responsive characteristics— Agape, friendly, outgoing, warm, understanding, altruistic, humanitarian, self-accepting.
Primary Issue—Learning to assert the truth about a situation, person, or issue in a loving, accepting way.
Reactive characteristics—Ingratiating, insincere, afraid of not being liked, oblique.
Identifying Characteristics—Sometimes this can look and feel like a self-esteem issue (self-deprecation) but actually the acceptance effect is directed primarily toward other individuals, whereas self-deprecation is primarily internally directed.
Percentage of population with this goal: 30%.

Examples
Fred Rogers - Mr. Rogers Neighborhood (submission imprinting)
Robert Young - Actor (growth and dominance imprinting)
Hubert Humphrey - Minnesota Senator (dominance and submission imprinting)
Will Rogers - Humorist, Folk Philosopher (growth and dominance imprinting)
Herbie Hancock - Jazz Pianist (growth and discrimination imprinting.
Bo Derek - Actress (growth and submission imprinting)
Gene Kelly - Actor, Dancer (discrimination and growth imprinting)
Ray Charles - Singer, Songwriter (growth and dominance imprinting)
Johnny Carson - Tonight Show Host (discrimination and growth imprinting)
Danny Kaye - Actor, Comedian, Dancer (submission and dominance imprinting)
Ted Kennedy - Politician (growth and discrimination imprinting)