Wisdom (Enhanced By Vibratory Response)

Lesson 2: Accepting Our Needs

Introduction

Wisdom is the capacity to be Self Reflective about what we know by using all three of our natural Intelligences. Wisdom grows by linking our Intelligences with others’ so the best can emerge. This creates an ability to identify who we are and how we are evolving. This self-reflective knowing is not only the result of new experiences, but contains the ability to redefine itself as circumstances change. Wisdom emerges when we accept our own personality nature without fighting. The more we are internally fragmented, the more Intensity we have when talking about things that matter to us. Intensity is the opposite of Wisdom because it is based on only a small aspect of who we are. Unfortunately, on a personality level, we have many aspects that compete with one another to be dominant. This is why Self Acceptance is the key pathway to embodying our Wisdom. Other Skills that assist in developing our Wisdom are Playfulness, Paradox and Personality Detachment.


The key lesson behind our Wisdom is accepting our needs. This is why the blocks to Wisdom are Greed and Sexy stereotypes. Wherever we are attached to looks or are identified with objects, we lose perspective and Context. Greed is the ultimate contraction, losing ourselves in the objects of our Desire. Sexual stereotypes, where outer attractions drive our choices, keep us from realizing how inappropriate our decisions can be. In both situations, our identity is reduced to an instinctive framework of pre-calculated interactions where we have only jaded exchanges. If we accept that this is only an instinctive façade, and who we are is Alive, Wise and creatively expansive, it can reflect our true nature. Otherwise, we are doomed to thinking about ourselves as selfish, self-centered survival mechanisms.


What makes Wisdom powerful is not just greater understanding, but the ability to determine a deeper truth from the confusing circumstances around us. This is called Vibratory Response, where we probe situations and events to see the underlying pattern or wholeness. Vibratory Response can initially reveal opposite or opposing perspectives, yet eventually it finds the core Truth that unifies everything. It is important to realize that we are just speaking of our own experiences and our own core truths, not some idealized external projection. When we have deeper realizations about our gifts, it provides the leverage to expand our WorldView, because all smaller truths and experiences are seen to be a subset.


Wisdom is a Skill, like others, where if we do not connect to our own Wisdom, there is no way we can connect to others with Wisdom. It is about accepting we will discover what we need to know when we need to know it. What we fear is that others will not honor us for our uniqueness. We focus on our feminine side, either acceding to or cajoling others to appreciate us as we are. The problem with this is we are seldom willing to accept others ignoring us, so we end up fixated on using our image by fixating on superficial attractions. We try to get seen for being cute, flirty, enthralling and intriguing. This means we can create a larger Context by embracing both Wisdom and Intensity. Wisdom is actually a super-set of all the above, without an attachment to how we look. While it is about confidence, it is also about being authentic. Looking Wise is not the same being Wise.


The only way we experience our own Wisdom is when others are Wise with us. With Wisdom, we manifest ourselves based on our own terms, producing Personal Dignity. With this Skill we honor and respect others and they honor and respect us. This points out how useful it is to be around those with Wisdom, so we can grow used to it. With Wisdom, there is no competition. In fact, there is a commitment to Mutual Learning. Just imagine what it could be like when stepping into a new possibility and not knowing what will happen next. We want to get used to being in the unknown whenever we are doing Skills. Otherwise, we become attached to our image and what we look like. If we are doing Intensity, Wisdom is not available. This is because Intensity indicates inner conflicts between Emotions and Thoughts, where we have not yet resolved our Truth. Attachments to looks can become addictive elements. Wisdom, conversely, focuses us and frees us from false Attachments and incomplete truths.

Through Greed, we are attracted to rich Life Experiences that help us to embody our earthly physical form.Greed is the attachment to a particular thing, person, or place that does not actually support our Authentic Life Expression. Greed anchors an Excitement and Fantasy that we will be able to get everything we want. Through Excitement we isolate ourselves and live out our fantasies. It is important to realize that Greed distances us, or insulates us, from fulfilling our actual true needs. It is also important to realize that our true needs are those that maximize our Authentic

Creative Expression, which may reflect a wide diversity in material possessions. In other words, we really can’t judge for another what is actually Greed for them because they may have needs or requirements to be supported in their Authentic Life Expression that are different than our own. Another distortion is getting caught up in the Projection that we need to be Sexy to attract a Partner. Sexiness reflects the heart of Greed because it seeks to maximize the number of people that are attracted to us.  Unfortunately, just because we can attract someone doesn’t mean they are good for us. In fact, focusing on the appearances of Sexiness, minimizes our ability to creatively connect, thereby guaranteeing less effective Partners. It also highlights an out of Balance internal state that reflects our own Feelings that we may not be Sexy.

The appearance of Sexiness is amplified by Excitement where we get caught up in our own Fears and Desires and are not present with ourselves. Instead of amplifying this imbalance, we need to neutralize our Instinctive Projections about our Sexiness and just accept that we will be attracted to the right individual without doing this. The lesson is to not use the appearance of Sexiness as a distraction from naturally accepting our own inner Beauty.  Otherwise, our need to constantly invest in our image will diminish our natural Beauty. The more we focus on Sexiness, the more out of Balance this attachment becomes, further confusing the situation. The more we find others who reflect this attraction back to us, the more we see how sexual attractions are not based on appearance but on how we ultimately connect. We know we have mastered this lesson when others see our sexiness and we are not attached to a particular way of appearing to please others.

Wisdom reflects the ability to see through outer attachments to forms, people and places so that the common clear truth underneath is revealed. Wisdom is the embodiment of the Sexiness attraction without the need to pursue it.  Some individuals would describe this attraction as magnetic.  They rarely realize that this magnetic attraction increases the less we are attached to outer appearances. Common expressions of this are when the more a person appears indifferent the more they feel they need to prove themselves a better Partner. Another expression of this is that the more they do not want us, the more we want them.

When we break down our Instinctive attachments to Greed and Sexiness, we discover what our truth is. We also develop realistic, self-affirming ways of Thinking of ourselves that do not attract the wrong individuals. This reminds us that the more we invest our energy, Greed and Sexiness, the more we are likely to attract individuals with compensatory insecurities. In effect, we need people to support our out of Balance vision of ourselves even if it sabotages their life fulfilling these needs. Realizing that Greed and Sexiness actually minimizes the expressions of Aliveness and Life Energy is the first step in transforming how we envision ourselves. Let us release all our attachments to how we look, or appear to others, so we can focus on what is truly important to us. The benefit is that by releasing these attachments we get to discover our own natural innocent Experience of how beautiful we are. Ultimately, this lesson teaches us to own both our inner and Outer Beauty. When this occurs, we see the Beauty in everything around us.

Greed

Greed is a state of conditioning where attachments to objects, Beauty or handsomeness are more important than the natural Experience ofabundance. Greed reflects the need to get others to see us as a safe option because of our possessions or Beauty. It takes two to participate in an act of Greed: the person who is acquiring possessions and the person who is acknowledging them for it. Usually the person who is most Greedy feels most unsafe without possessions and money and therefore uses their Beauty or handsomeness as a currency to get what they perceive they need. Greed makes us doubt that others love us for who we are, especially when we see others compromise themselves by choosing relationships where the true issue is the degree to which others will take care of them. Overall, Greed reflects an outer attachment to possessions in order to guarantee a sense of Safety. The problem is that we are not able to manifest Safety within us, so we look to external possessions as a way to compensate for our lack of internal Connection. In the study of primates, particularly chimpanzees, the female demonstrates the motive of Greed as a nesting Instinct, which is why we assign Greed to the Feminine hierarchy.

Individuals operating from a motive of Greed appear empty, and when we become their target we often feel as if they are trying to swallow us whole. We can validate when others are operating in Greed by their voracious, unlimited appetite for possessions and Experiences. Individuals who do not operate from Greed have a Balanced Appreciation for the usefulness of things and recognize that with possessions come responsibilities. When we operate in a mode of Greed, we are not able to see and accept the Greediness of others, which sets in motion covert power struggles over who will decide what everyone gets. In society, business sees Greed as a motivating force that allows it to manipulate productivity. In personal relationships, with the cultural shift of Masculine and Feminine Intellectual polarities, we see as many men operating in a motive of Greed as women. This has produced a tremendous amount of self-examination about how we want to operate in relationships but still want Personal Time to take care of ourselves.

In a motive of Greed, we operate in the Context of scarcity. We seek endless acquisitions of possessions to minimize our lack of self-Presence. Greed reflects a perspective that we may not survive and thrive without material possessions that prove our success. The underlying fear is “I may not be able to take care of myself”. Another fear is that others will reject us unless we have something material to offer. The hidden belief of scarcity is that there is not enough for everyone to exist, so we pretend to have abundance so others cannot judge us as lacking. We can see Greed in others when they look vacant, which means they are experiencing an inner emptiness and are seeking to fill their outer life with material possessions in an attempt to offset this profound void. Being able to acquire things temporarily makes us feel we can affect our outer world.

Scarcity Fears can be healed by seeing that we already have what we need to survive and succeed. Anything we have not yet attracted to us is probably not necessary to fulfill our life’s contribution. Only by accepting ourselves as we are can we get in touch with the energy of abundance, which recognizes that the world serves those who serve it. Let us imagine being supported by the Universe by recognizing all the ways that it is already providing opportunities for our development. Developing an inner sense of gratitude for the gift of Life itself is also a way to get in touch with our greater abundance.

Now we will address how to heal our Greed. Imagine having all that we actually need. Consider how Feeling resourceful and capable allows us to abundantly contribute to the Universe. When we support the Universe, the Universe supports us. See how this occurs when we honor our physical form and the things around us as being part of our natural contribution to the world. Take a moment to Experience a sense of gratitude that we have exactly what we need, when we need it. Imagine transmuting our outer Attention to appearances into an exploration of the inner emptiness of all things. Notice how easy it is to become diffuse and even feel overwhelmed by the chaos inherent in this kind of Experience. Instead of being overwhelmed, let us recognize how we can get in touch with our power to be present with this emptiness until it no longer scares us. Notice that when we Consciously engage the emptiness within ourselves, we expand and are more present with our Self.

Imagine the sea of emptiness within our self being nurtured by our ability to honor our inner space and Experience. Consider how our ability to see ourselves as more than the outer form allows us to connect with what is appropriate in our lives. Let us allow ourselves to Experience how even the change that is occurring in our lives supports our evolutionary Growth process by asking us to examine what is necessary to continue our natural Growth and contribution. Let everything else that is unnecessary flow back to the Universe, so that we no longer need to be responsible for it. This assists us in bringing in those new things that are necessary for our creative fulfillment.

Since Greed reflects a sense of scarcity (because we believe others may attempt to take things we feel we need), it is important for us to begin to accept that there will be enough, particularly when we keep open and available in our interactions with others. It is not only in our interest to have what we need, but it is also in the interest of others that we have what we need so we can serve and support them as well. Instead of seeking the Adoration of others by acting as if we do not need what we do, let us endeavor to be clear and truthful about our process and our situation. When any fear of scarcity arises, let us turn this fear around and act generously with others, so that the contraction we were experiencing becomes an expansion that uplifts us all. As giving naturally increases our true inner wealth, let us discover how to connect with the Universe through our ability to give. When we withhold our giving, it effectively sets us up to seek to fill the inner emptiness with possessions. When we connect through giving, it neutralizes any Fears of scarcity and affirms that we are learning how to give more completely.

The three belief structures of Romance, Motives and Love assert their power whenever we are not Conscious of our true choices, see diagram Related Greed Beliefs. Greed and the acquisition of possessions and Experiences, becomes the default option whenever others dump us (in a romantic sense) or consume us in their embrace of us. Unconscious merging promotes the premise that whatever our friends have they should share freely yet our Experience of this is, most of the time, is diametrically opposite to this. These frameworks reflect a lack of personal Boundaries, which becomes greatly amplified whenever something threatens the Safety of our relationships or our life circumstances. Some of us distance our “self” from our own neediness and deny it. Others embrace it and use it to get what we want in life. Wherever we do not honor our power to manifest our reality it becomes a blockage to our overall expression. In both situations it becomes the primary motivating force to the degree that we are unwilling to accept responsibility for taking care of our self.

Awareness of Greed teaches us how to go beyond our Fears and Desires around material possessions or lack of them. The goal is to be neutral as much as possible about the status of material possessions in our life. The more we can affirm that we have what we need to engage the lessons of our life, the less Conflict and turmoil we will Experience in our life. The more we deny our own material existence, the harder it is to be a conduit for the expression of material abundance around us. There are two important Beliefs that we need to confront to heal our self-denial. First, we need to envision our self as a loving expression of the Universe and, therefore, an abundant Connection to whatever is truly on our path to our self-development and Growth. Second, we need to clear out the negative associations that others will only want us for what we have otherwise we never really allow others to connect with us as we are.

Greed in this way not only shuts down our Connection with the Universe but it dramatically limits our Connection with others. The more we believe that we need to have something to be loved and accepted by others, the more this creates obstacles to being seen by others as we truly are. How can others love us if we do not love ourselves enough to express our own truth about our material situation or lack of it. Sometimes we actually need to simplify our life and reexamine how our acquisition of things keeps us from growing in the ways that we would like. Material goods also impose responsibilities for upkeep and maintenance that, many times, become a burden when these items are not truly required for our Growth and development. We discover how much of our Beliefs about home and car ownership and the possession of other entertainment items such as motor homes, boats, even airplanes are actually a direct reflection of our parents’ Fears about Safety and Security.

When we acquire something that is not on our path we have no on-going sense of satisfaction and well-being and it actually stimulates us to acquire more.  This is the core issue of consumerism. Whenever we are dissatisfied with what we have we believe the answer is to acquire more to somehow get the satisfaction we lack within us. Greed distracts us from what would truly support us in our life expression. Our Greed focuses us on things when what we actually seek are Experiences of inner well being. We do not realize that we could create these Experiences within us using our imagination and visualization powers. We seek, instead, to have an outer reminder of these qualities we seek to possess. Unfortunately possessing them physically and not internalizing them directly just makes our self-denial worse.

To release our attachments to Greed we need to shift our perspective and not be identified with what we own. This shift means we have to transcend our fixation on physical form so we can see ourselves as energetic beings that transcend our outer presentation. For some of us it is helpful to affirm the abundance of Beauty and Experience in our life. Instead of coveting material possessions, we need to find ways to release ourselves from the possessions we currently have that are not truly serving us. From this new framework it becomes a gift to us to give to others, particularly when we see they might have a better use for something than we do. This perspective opens us up to greater energetic flow and it becomes possible to grow faster because we are Transmuting the conditioning and Beliefs of our past.

The hidden denied belief is the default assumption that we operate from when we are Unconscious. This reflects the worst-case scenario where we are self-identified with every possession and cannot see beyond our ownership rights. The distancing belief is how we learn to live with our self after falling into the hidden belief. It reflects that we are not really as bad as we think ourselves to be and provides the justification not to confront the hidden belief. Who we present our self to be is the outer belief that distracts us from looking at the truth whenever things become confrontive or difficult with others. In this case it reflects our view of how we are superficially abundant in our scarcity. In effect, we want to look like we have handled things when, in fact, it is still an ongoing Conflict within us. Primarily we use this belief to reassure our self without actually neutralizing the ongoing issue so we could grow and develop in a natural way.

Ultimately we want to transcend these Beliefs and embody a Consciousness that goes beyond superficial presentations of who we are. Money has become the center of our sense of self worth and contribution in business. It is now becoming obvious that our perpetual search for Safety and Security in possessions does not actually work. This does not keep us from continuing the “rat race” mentality of acquisition because we typically do not see any alternative. Never before in our recorded history have we defined our value as much in terms of time and money. What this does is erode our true sense of value, which is Self Presence. We no longer create time to be who we are and enjoy life without external distractions and stimulation. When we get caught up in always having to pay attention to what we think we need it drains us and limits our natural creative responsiveness because we are exhausted.

Our sense of Presence expands dramatically when we no longer use material possessions as a way to prove we are valuable or important in the world. The cultural framework has made it more difficult to relate to others without the Presence of possessions overwhelming our Presence with each other. Our Connections tend to be defined in terms of the values that reflect our possessiveness or lack of it. It is easy to believe there is no other way to show up as an empowered person without some pre-established relationship to our possessions. The opposite is also true.  Spiritual seekers can be identified with their lack of possessions, which makes them “better” than others in some cultural environments. We do not need to be aesthetic monks with a vow of poverty to either prove our importance and value or lack of it. Spiritual Materialism is when we believe we are a better person because we do not have things. As we become more enlightened, we discover that outer possessions are primarily a tool for serving the acquisition and transcendence of specific Experiences on our path of self-realization. Who we are is actually not limited by possessions or the lack of them.

The irony is that we not only have to get clear about who we are in our evolutionary process in terms of possessions, we have to be present about our relationship to material possessions and communicate this congruently to keep others from misinterpreting us. It is directly dealing with the perceptual Beliefs of scarcity and the attachments to Greed that will assist us in our quest for inner harmony. This means we have to be clear and unambiguous in our truth that we do not define our self in terms of material possessions. For individuals who are attached to Greed, this will create a fearful disconnect because they will not know whether they can count on us to support them when, in fact, it is our detachment from possessions that makes it more possible to effectively serve others using possessions appropriately.

The cost of Greed is that we may find ourselves living in a world of superficial luxury. Luxury that distances us for others closes us down to our evolutionary Growth. Luxury keeps us from engaging life fully because our physical attachments to comfort and the caretaking of others keep us from an expansive, inspirational, ordinary life. Luxury is also a curse because it attracts others with lower Motives that will attempt to take advantage of us. Only when we know ourselves beyond our possessions and do not flaunt our possessions around others will we truly build Conscious Relationships that can sustain us. It is also important to distinguish that luxury connotes an ability to distinguish ourselves from others by what we own. As long as we perpetuate a social class structure, we will not see and support the inherent Creativity in others openly. Our perspective will be colored by our Beliefs that wealth indicates superior breeding and intelligence.

It is not luxury to be operating in a balanced way with people we love. Hopefully those we most interact with and those to whom we most contribute will help us to establish an appropriate level of consumption. They can best do this by reflecting back to us how we are distancing our self from them using things. Keeping the relationship honest regarding the use of resources permits us to more abundantly share our Self. Personal dignity is greatly enhanced to the degree we align to Universal Intent and focus on what we need to fulfill our contributions. The more we use our authentic Creativity to connect and cease to operate from social-economic, Gender Identity or defensive roles, the easier it will be to engage authentically. Others operating from a Creative Alignment will greatly appreciate our humanity, vulnerability and openness.   

To accomplish this, we need to know the difference between our wants and needs. Wants reflect our constant insecurity about material possessions. Needs reflect what is in Alignment with our contribution and our Growth. We are most fulfilled by honoring our authentic needs and we are diminished to the degree we get caught up in pursuing our wishes and personality wants. These wishes typically distract us from the greater satisfaction and Joy that comes from creatively contributing. It affirms our self-Esteem when we contribute and are honored in the contributions we make. Greed negates our self-Esteem by asserting that we deserve things that we have not worked for. We come into a greater sense of power when we request, and even demand, what is in Alignment with Universal Intent. This is completely different than fulfilling our wishes and wants that reflect scarcity of our personality perspective.

Sexy

Sexiness is typically defined in terms of a “model” look or cultural standard used to evaluate the general “physical attractiveness” of a person. The more we operate in Unconscious personality Judgments, the less we are able to connect or be present to the person we are evaluating. We are forgetting that by judging others, we open ourselves up to being judged by them. We need to remember that sexiness is an attraction that combines many types of elements beside the physical. Sexiness indicates the ability to connect with our energy in a way that can bring out the best in our Partners. As it is a combination of perceptions that are anchored in our minds, it is not only a physical attraction. Since the attraction is internally created, it originates as a Projection, which others feel compelled to either accept or reject (if they are operating on the Personality level). Only when we feel we will be accepted, does sexiness become real in any kind of external manner. This means that others need to respond to us in a way that supports our perceptions for sexiness to become a “real” relationship quality. When we are Unconscious of this, we tend to seek out those who match our inner perceptions of Safety and sexiness, while, at the same time, matching society’s expectations (so we feel secure in our choices). The irony is that the more we pursue Sexiness in our Partner, the less sexy we feel internally. Loneliness is the result.

Unfortunately, when we don’t meet up to or exceed the cultural standards, this seems to decreases our chances with Partners. Sometimes we react to this realization by trying to create our own standard of Beauty.  This is the basis of the Goth movements, where individuals rebelled against the culturally accepted standards of Sexiness. Some individuals personalize this further by seeking out Partners with less conventional appearances. This attraction is more a reflection of what we hate, than what we like. In many cases, what we hate is to conform to other people’s views with how things are. In attempt to confirm our Autonomy, we fall into the trap of getting attached to the opposite that is just as difficult to release as traditional attachments to Sexiness. What we need to do to transcend these patterns is to recognize that Sexiness is really defined in certain relationships in the moment.  It is actually a reflection of being able to create a Connection in a loving, intimate manner that reveals our true Beauty. Let us release ourselves from these outer Beliefs about how we should be and find our natural internal response to individuals in the moment.

Wisdom

Wisdom reflects inclusive knowing. There are many different types of knowing. Wisdom is the bridging element that allows us to connect our Wisdoms within us so that we can function as a full Creative Being. Our Acceptance of this inner knowing also permits us to share our knowing with others openly. In this way our knowing can expand the knowing of others and we become a resource for each other. It is also important to recognize that the Wisdom Experience is where we become a witness to our greater knowing and are able to Trust that we know everything we need to know to deal with any lesson the Universe gives us. While there are three ways to approach Wisdom (through Intent, Content, and Context) embodied Wisdom contains all three simultaneously. The Feminine framework has the most influence and power with Wisdom because Context metaphorically represents our larger capacity to see, know and engage possibilities.

The quality of Wisdom is the Feminine expression of Growth. Wisdom is one of the best ways to be more present with our authentic knowing. It encourages us to share our personal understandings so we may become part of a larger common knowledge base. Wisdom is created by reconciling differences with Uncomfortable Similarities between our Self and others. Usually this Experience occurs when we do not love ‘our Self’ in a way that others do. Expanding our ability to see possibilities from many different views simultaneously lets us find common solutions to empower group activity. The opposite of Wisdom is Intensity where we believe our own perspective to be superior to the perspective of others. There are three primary ways we can deny Wisdom. We can subjectify, idealize, or objectify the Thoughts of ourselves and others which keeps us from operating in a unified way.

 

When we subjectify our knowledge, we create a standard by which others should measure up.

The first option is to focus on the Intellectual Content and compare the descriptions of what is occurring to determine what is more accurate. We call this framework ‘competition’ where we believe we need to define the problem so that others have to deal with us to create the solution. This pattern usually reflects how we are caught in our Dynamic Defense Style where Content is most important. This reflects how knowledge is an organizational structure that needs to be honored for us to make the right choices. What gets lost is the Context (the Context where everything is defined in terms of all other things) and the Intent (which establishes the direction or purpose of engaging this process). As long as the knowledge structure prevails over these two other approaches to knowledge, our larger way of being is not fluid, flexible and able to grow.

When we idealize our knowledge, it creates opportunities to become fixated on our perspective at the cost of others. We can validate this when we resist defining ourselves in terms of others and believe that others should conform to our higher views of the situation. Frequently we justify this by believing that we have greater depth than anyone around us. This Contextual orientation to the big picture usually frustrates us when others discount it for being too idealistic or impractical. When we are operating in the second option the trump card we like to play is how our ideas seem more inclusive than the ideas of others. Usually this is due to the fact that we have adapted pieces of many different perspectives to enhance its appeal and to create ways for others to acknowledge or value it. This pattern usually reflects the Disarming Defense Style where we get overly attached to the Context of our knowing. When this occurs, the details of the knowledge and the Intent are subsumed in how things interconnect. We pay Attention to the relationship Dynamics at the cost of the Content and Intent.


We objectify Thoughts by using them as things to build our reality. We come to believe that every object in the world is a reflection of a Thought we can mange and manipulate. As there seems to be a one-to-one correspondence between the Thought and the item we fall into the trap of not being responsible for the energetic demands of Thinking. We do not challenge ourselves to think beyond what we currently see, think and Experience. This habitual need to anchor Thought in form, leads us to think that Creativity is copying or adapting previous Thoughts to serve new purposes. Unfortunately, it is hard for us to work abstractly and to see patterns so that we can begin to explore the hidden potential behind our Thoughts. This approach reflects a Distance Defense Style or background. The more we objectify our Thinking the more we believe that Thought means taking action. Since we do not separate the Thought from the action, we see everything in terms of action or non-action. As a result when we are energetically imprinted with a certain behavior we need to Unconsciously act that behavior out, particularly when it is not needed or valued.


Holding the possibility that there are solutions that do not compromise anyone is the first step in embracing Wisdom. This means we need to use the Context to organize the Content and the Intent of our Thoughts in an integrated manner. Usually this means coming into a self-Acceptance that our Thoughts are expressions of who we are and not who we are. This allows us to see our Thought processes as opportunities to prune the garden. In other words, instead of falling into our Defensive Style where we constantly repeat our position and expect things to change, we actually broaden our Thinking so the full power of our Thoughts can emerge. Using the metaphor of a garden, we know it takes cultivation of the soil, water, and sunlight. When we share our Thoughts with others, they can provide the sunlight or the water in the form of Intent and Content to help the full creative potential to be fulfilled. Remember Wisdom is about being inclusive of all areas of our knowing and integrating the process so that others can participate in its evolution.

Another way is to find ways to work together in order to build Trust. It is helpful to see how others perceive our perspective so that we can develop a better sense of how similar or different our processes are from others. Sometimes the key thing we have to contribute is a different viewpoint that can startle or stimulate others in unexpected ways. This can open the door to exploring options that would have provoked reactions without Trust. We begin by learning how to accept and become congruent with our own inner Wisdom. As this occurs, our Forgiveness of ourselves creates a space where grace and compassion can exist for others. It is our compassion for ourselves that then emerges as a compassion for others and their process. We no longer fall into the trap of attempting to assert our truth over others. We learn to see and love both our and their strengths and weaknesses and how they can be revealed in Conscious interactions. Wisdom reflects the Commitment to explore the Mystery of people so we can find new ways to create Trust.

We can turn our Intensity into Wisdom by learning how to grow together. With Wisdom, we are able to share resources and come up with common solutions. When we are our Defense Style, we either use Intensity to lock others into our needs or lose our Self in Intensity by becoming the partner who always argues and confronts the situation. By using Intensity to demand what we think we need from our Partner, we create a sense of Safety when they respond to us. By losing our Self in Intensity, we put our Partner on notice that we cannot be manipulated easily, so they do not challenge our truth. We avoid being manipulated in either of these ways by denying Intensity. This ends up creating a situation where we feel Intensity within ourselves, but are not willing to express it for fear that we will be manipulated by our Partner one way or the other.

We can only deny Wisdom by trying to avoid Intensity. We think that by avoiding Intensity we will eliminate the ability of others to confront us. All that happens is that we become defined by others and lose our Self. This indicates that we believe that what they think of us is far more important than what we think of ourselves. This form of role-playing denies both our Masculine and Feminine sides. We begin to engage our Wisdom by taking one of two positions. Using Intensity by locking others into our needs or by losing our self in Intensity so that others will back off when we are polarized within our self. Both of these are effective only half of the time and neither reflects the truth that Wisdom can only be honored when we are non-polarized. Intensity is actually an indication that we are unable or unwilling to acknowledge our complete Truth. We learn to take a stand by turning Intensity into Wisdom so that we can experience Alignment with others where our mutual understanding and Wisdom can be embraced.


Respecting our internal Wisdom (by being present on physical, Feeling/Emotional, Intellectual and Intuitive levels) supports us in honoring the Wisdom of others. This becomes an amazing support system when we can share understanding and resources. Whenever we judge ourselves poorly, we create an Intensity in our interactions with others where there is a pressure to make sure we know what is going on and understand the situation. The more Intensity we experience from others arising from their own self judgmental nature, the more pressure we feel to keep them from reacting or judging themselves poorly. Intensity is a signal that we need to learn to relax and be present with what we know. It suggests that we can let go of proving what we know and simply be what we are.

The dilemma is that we either want to over-protect others to keep them from experiencing the pain of judgment, or we want to contract and operate from a victim mentality of “poor little me,” because others judge us. We need to desensitize ourselves to judgment by recognizing that those who judge others first judge themselves, and therefore are the primary victims of their own judgment. Since Judgments limit their ability to be present in their truth and operate with Wisdom, they cannot see the options that we can see when we are in a state of Wisdom. Wisdom provides us the strength and support to have compassion for the Judgments others make about their self and us. When we are Wise, we recognize that Judgments are just a knee-jerk reaction where an individual typically shoots their self in the foot trying to make things right.

We transcend our fear of judgment when we accept that our Wisdom will naturally include and embrace the issues of others. Our being present to our own Wisdom allows us to bring out and nurture the Wisdom of others. Part of the Experience of embracing our Wisdom is realizing that we always know what we need to know, when we need to know it. Our lessons always provide us the environment to learn what we need to learn in a way that is fulfilling to us. Only individuals who deny this possibility (by being judgmental) end up competing with us for what we know. As Competition is always trumped by Cooperation, our Wisdom will prevail if we hold the space for others to come into Alignment with their self and us.

Being Wise is the Commitment to embrace the chaos of the world and use this process to inform our choices in the world. As Socrates said, “Wisdom begins in wonder.” Francis Bacon said, “Wonder is the seed of knowledge.” Wisdom is the reflection of Feminine Intent, where we use Mystery to invoke new opportunities by nurturing each option until one clearly emerges. Sometimes, the best solution is the result of another’s Intent. When we see things through the eyes of another, we awaken greater understanding. Being open to all possibilities invites spontaneous and interactive solutions to arise through Trusting the process. Self-reflection (where we can observe how others see us and still hold our own perspective) assists us in building Self-Respect. Wisdom is sharing creative ways of addressing any issue and opening to the Mystery of new possibilities. To do this we need to listen and be receptive to the Thoughts and perceptions of others.

Wisdom heals us of needing to limit our Experience to make it fit a pre-existing knowledge structure. When we embody Wisdom, we are open to myriad, apparently random inter-Connections that make understanding our Self a deep Transformational process. Wisdom is transpersonal in nature because it is inclusive and allows us to link together new ways of viewing our reality. It is no wonder that Wisdom creates a sense of Personal Dignity when we honor our larger truth. The benefit of embodying Wisdom is that when we accept our common understanding of the situation, we cannot turn around and shame others for their lack of understanding. In this way, Wisdom helps us to transcend our defensiveness.

The virtue of Personal Dignity arises when we honor our Wisdom. The Paradox is that, with Wisdom, we operate in a more expanded, open perspective that can easily integrate with others, while Personal Dignity is the ability to honor our personal Commitment and choice within a larger group. In other words, Wisdom is the path from Personal to the Transpersonal expression, while Personal Dignity is the path back from Transpersonal to the Personal. The more we deepen our personal perception of ourselves, the more likely our self-perception is to become transpersonal and vice versa. By deepening our understanding of the world, we come to see both the similarities and the differences with others, which makes it easy to honor our common humanity. When a person operates with Personal Dignity, we realize that they have many choices, so when they engage us, it honors us.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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