Safety & Security

Safety & Security lessons focus on figuring out the principles and rules that seem to guarantee our physical well-being. At this stage, we focus on meeting the expectations of others by developing strong role-playing capabilities. We are primarily found in rural areas where we feel safe and live by “the rules”. In our attempts to become perfect, we may become judgmental and reactive when others do not follow what we perceive to be the rules. This is because we believe anyone breaking the rules directly threatens our safety and security. When others break a rule, we go to a place of seeing all rules being broken, which feels very threatening. Safety & Security WorldView individuals need a strong sense of authority and order to feel comfortable. We like being a member of a clearly defined group giving us sense belonging. While we are very selective with whom we associate, we tend to have long-term friendships that provide a sense of stability and familiarity helpingus feel comfortable.

We are usually in the Safety & Security WorldView stage between the age of eighteen months and 5 years old. What we want most from others is appreciation for our consistency and systematic progress toward a goal. While we tend to learn through confrontation, we mostly try to avoid both confrontation and the pain that tends to surround it. We can best be supported by first having agreement from others and after which we can be open to hearing suggestions for other ways of looking at a situation. We have the most difficulty dealing with individuals with unpredictable emotional states. What Safety & Security lessons teach us is how to conform to others and even take care of them. This does not mean we are comfortable with people. Rather it means that we are learning to be.

At this level our animalistic urges are married with some intellectual perceptivity allowing us to develop an “I” consciousness, which automatically creates fear of others. At this level, everything is framed in terms of black and white, truth and non-truth. It is assumed that there is one common reality in which everyone is defined. We learn to hide our selfishness to guarantee the survival of the family unit. Our new mental focus drives us to create safety in whatever way is possible. This particularly shows up in laws, which we completely support, making it possible for us to believe we are safe. Our sense of responsibility begins to develop as we define ourselves so we can fit in with others. As we become more settled, we adopt Distant defense patterns that provide structure for our reality. We are most sensitive to others who contradict our plans or way of doing things. Our irritation reflects the belief that our way is the best way. We become identified with our pride when others seem to disregard our perspective and typically withdraw and take things personally, leading to bouts of self-pity.

At this stage, we become conscious of our instinctive drives, but feelings are mysterious and unconscious motivators. We are able to discuss our superstitions and develop a desire to be affirmed in our belonging by becoming a part of a church. As there is safety in numbers, we seek the reassurance of fixed patterns of behavior in religious practice. One side effect of this is that we may be threatened by others who do not agree with our beliefs providing a basis for religious rivalry and wars.

Sex equals unconscious safety and we start to act out our attractions in ways that are expressed as roles. Whenever there are challenges, we automatically withdraw so things can be considered before responding to the situation. It is also likely that we are operating from a sense of stinginess, where we deny our abundance. Another way we create safety is to live in tract housing where everybody agrees about how things will be. We expect other people to do their duty and meet their responsibilities. Otherwise, we reject or judge them. Over time we build a sense of safety and security by living within a comfort zone that we expect others, especially our friends or family members, to support. We typically become over dramatic when others do not agree with us because our fears are triggered. Over time, we learn to hide our possessiveness behind a mask of intolerance.

CHECKLIST FOR SAFETY AND SECURITY LEVEL

•   Operational status:Novice (please take care of me) desires structure, rules, law, civilization and needs a sense of order and authority to feel comfortable. Will challenge anything that seeks to destroy the status quo.
•   Learning method: unconscious through avoidance and pain. The strategy in terms of the sea is to be a carp, protected in large schools, and able to exert some influence by sounding the alarm when danger lurks.
•   Dimensions of experience: One. Instinctive connecting to emotions—me and other mes. Responds primarily to emotions, either to protect or attack.
•   Focus: “This is the rule, and it must be followed.” Find comfort from knowing what to expect. Love organization, bureaucracy and stability because they fear change.
•   Responsive characteristics: good citizens, conscientious, concerned, loyal, family-minded, will do the right thing, sees things simply, creates rules, security-minded.
•   Reactive characteristics: dogmatic, unbending, petty, bureaucratic, rigid, unquestioning of authority, can operate more from emotions than reason (but denies it). Will fight for their beliefs, community-oriented, righteous. Sometimes lack original thought, strong belief in dichotomy, right/wrong etc., uneasiness around sexuality, obsessive about germs and cleanliness, sometimes brutal.

Percent of adult population falling into Safety and Security group: 20%

Examples: Steven King, Ann Landers, Mike Tyson, Oral Roberts, Yassar Arafat, Colonel Kaddafy, and Idi Amin.

Safety and Security areas / countries: Midwest United States, Ireland, Mexico, Argentina, most other South American countries.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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