Outer Success

The lessons of Outer Success focus on control, outer power, fame, and wealth. At this stage, we tend to individuate. This can be seen in how much we try to manifest our own vision and independence, regardless of the cost to others. We live mostly in metropolitan and technological centers. We can be attached to our toys, especially high tech toys that make us feel superior and on the cutting edge.We learn the lessons of Outer Success by identification with possessions and the subsequent loss of these possessions. We do not complete the lessons of Outer Success until we no longer define ourselves in terms of the things we own. It is also important to learn that outer power only has an impact on people who are operating from Defenses. Therefore, we learn to distinguish between power with and power over people. True power is always expressed in a Co-Creative way that does not diminish any of the participants. Another way of expressing the key issue of Outer Success is stepping beyond the competitive model of “me vs. you” into a cooperative model that builds alliances.

If we have conscious parents, operating at the Relationship level or above, then we usually go through the Outer Success stage between the years of 5 and 12. Unfortunately, since few of us have conscious parents, a large majority of the population is still operating in the realm of Outer Success. We are best honored when others preemptively acknowledging our goals and objectives and make a deal to support us in what we need, in exchange for our supporting the needs of the larger group. While this is a conditional framework which may not be comfortable for people operating at a higher WorldView, it is the approach that will most effectively engage us in the higher group possibilities. What others need to recognize is the appearances of aggressiveness, arrogance, and greed in Outer Success individuals is really a cover up for our insecurity and fears. What we want others to reflect back is that we are industrious leaders who will “go the extra mile” to make things work.

As we move into Outer Success, we seek a way to contribute where we can play a part and be rewarded for it. Greed and personal satisfaction become the driving forces of our life as we begin to build a sense of self-discipline in order to get what we want. We become aware of how we adapt to circumstances to maximize our personal gain, even at the cost of others because we are governed by a desire to increase our comfort on physical, emotional and mental levels. This is also the stage where sex equates to love, and how physically attractive or how successful in the world our partner is reflects on our image. Usually, we are highly identified with our job or career and what we possess. This further enhances a sense of competition, where we compare ourselves to others based on what we have. The more we are better than or different from others, the more we leverage our differences to prove ourselves superior. At this stage, we can be insensitive and indifferent to the emotions, reactions or pain of others.

It is easy to become preoccupied at this level with righting past perceived wrongs. The more we need to get even and prove ourselves better, the more we naturally distance ourselves from the pain of others. We end up substituting our attachments to things over our emotional well being, not realizing that selfishness opens us up to becoming evil. In this context, evil is merely the denial of others to enrich our own well-being. What is ironic is how much we come into this process being disgusted by the greediness of others, only to end up attempting to outdo them reducing our sensitivity on intuitive and emotional levels. As a result, we are able to act more boldly because we renounce our timidity and fear.

On the Outer Success level, we are unconsciously driven by the power of thoughts. At the same time, we start to become aware of our feelings, even though we are typically afraid to trust them. We feel empowered, because we can see the instinctive motives of others, and feel in control of where we are going in our lives. Our desires emerge, and we seek the easiest way to get where we want to go, not realizing that a lack of internal principle will attract others who want to exploit our greed. It seems like a dog-eat-dog world, which justifies our acting without conscience.

For some, material ambition is the yardstick for progress. In the United States, our belief systems support the notion that prosperity is a godly state. Actually, it is not the outer manifestation of prosperity that is godly, but the inner recognition of our creative abundance. Unfortunately, many of us have become fixated on having more than others to no constructive purpose. While the focus on outer form in the Western World has benefited us on many levels, it is currently stifling our development on many more. The more conscious we are, the more we seek moderate and economical ways to express ourselves. The more unconscious we are, the more attached we are to what we possess, eliminating our ability to see the larger picture. Over time, we learn to hide our intolerance about our differences with others behind a mask of separateness and exclusivity. This prevents ourevolving to the Relationship level.

CHECKLIST FOR OUTER SUCCESS LEVEL

•    Operational status:Me First, control and power issues, fame, money. Need independence and success. Outward looking, measured by societal standards.
•    Learning method: through identifying with things and then losing them. The strategy in terms of the sea is to be a shark, alone, powerful, doing whatever they want.
•    Dimensions of experience: Two. Instinctive and intellectual— me vs. you. The game is to figure out what others need so a profit can be made by controlling them. It is not just about the money, but also a sense of power that covers up an inner sense of personal impotence. They try to avoid tenderness because they believe others will take advantage of their “weakness,” which directs their feelings toward taking action by focusing on material desires.
•    Focus: “I can have it all.” Identified with their bodies, youth, appearance, etc. Through love they practice the motives of greed, arrogance and lust, day and night.
•    Responsive characteristics: productivity, industriousness, leadership, authoritarian.
•    Reactive characteristics: competitive, pushy, self-righteous, arrogant, excessively materialistic, lacking insight into personal motivations, “winner takes all,” “I’m right, you’re wrong” and cleanliness phobias carried over from security lessons.

Percent of adult population falling into Outer Success group: 25% (more in the United States).

Examples: Donald Trump, Saddam Hussein, Dick Clark, Charles Bronson, Casper Weinberger, Lauren Holly, Mae West, John Glenn, Hulk Hogan, Nancy Reagan, Robert Mitchum, Geraldine Ferraro, Greta Garbo, Bryant Gumbel, William Buckley, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Danny DeVito, Humphrey Bogart, Mick Jagger, J. Paul Getty, Alexander The Great, John F. Kennedy, Mao Tse Tung, Bob Hope, Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, Malcolm X, Ferdinand Marcos, Imelda Marcos, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Aristotle Onassis, James Cagney, Billy Graham, Orson Wells, Jack Benny, Bing Crosby, Gov. Pete Wilson, David Bowie, Jim Carey, Gene Hackman, Elvis Presley (early life), Sharon Stone, Cindy Crawford, Anthony Hopkins, George Bush, Bob Dole, Newt Gingrich, Roseanne Barr, Rush Limbaugh, Woody Harrelson.

Outer Success countries: United States, Some parts of Brazil, Germany, Hong Kong, Singapore, South Korea, Israel.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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