Modes

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Introduction to Modes

Our Path to Action

Modes are the intent or patterns of activity that are implemented to accomplish a person’s Goal. This intent is the unification and embodiment of our sensations and feelings. In our society, our ability to act is the first skill we develop and it is the most tightly controlled. Anytime we act out of alignment with our parents intent, we get negative feedback. Each person may have up to four natural ways of operating, usually implemented in a particular sequence. Becoming conscious of modes allows one to see and experience the intentions of others by observing their Modes. It is important to recognize when we are operating in alignment with ourselves or performing to get the approval of others, that this is imprinting. The difference between natural modes and imprinted modes is one of either non-resistant engagement (natural modes) or activities that reinforce unconscious, stressed denial where we frequently do not fulfill our initial intentions (imprinted modes). This means that imprinted modes reflect patterns we have adopted from our parents, which became our own coping behavior when things were difficult. When accepting and understanding the various ways of doing things, people are more congruent internally and show up with a greater sense of ease and playfulness.

Modes are frameworks for the personality to take action. A mode is the method we unconsciously adopt to achieve our goals. While we can use any mode to accomplish an activity, our specific mode is the primary way we naturally approach our goal. Modes indicate the path of least resistance in terms of fulfilling our intended goals. Modes can be thought of as unconscious habits that we automatically do. Each individual has habits that they created for themselves that are considered to be their natural modes, as well as the imprinted modes they learned from their parents to get their attention and acceptance. The difference between natural modes and our imprinted modes is one of non-resistance (natural modes) versus denial (imprinted modes). This means that imprinted modes derive from a stress response in which we imitated our parents unconsciously and seek to lash out at others who we believe caused our stress. When we do our natural modes we have a sense of flow.

Modes reflect how we take action or respond to the actions of others. It focuses on our intention, because it requires an act of will to manifest. Everyone is born with one to three modes, while we have multiple imprinting possibilities, based on our parents’ interactions with us. It is important to recognize that modes, overall, are unconscious patterns that have allowed us to complete something or get the result we wanted. As we move through different stages of WorldView, we typically get more selective and more able to adapt to a situation. This means we learn to use different modes selectively in the moment without being so attached to the ones we used in the past. This usually occurs after we reach mid-level Relationship WorldView. We become self-conscious of our own patterns. Until that time, we believe we are our patterns, and don’t experience that we have choices in how to interact in a variety of ways.

The Seven Modes

There are seven modes: Reserved, Passion, Caution, Power, Perseverance, Aggression, and Observation. The various modes can be grouped by their one-to-one versus one-to-many application. Each mode has its opposite, for example reserve is the opposite of passion, caution is the opposite of power, perseverance is the opposite of aggression, and observation is the neutral position that relates to them all.

A secondary effect of getting caught up in mode imprinting is that it also affects how we implement our goal. Attachment to doing our mode imprinting can drive us into doing a particular goal imprint as a way of justifying what we feel compelled to do. Action repression in our Communication Process can also increase the amount of mode imprinting we do. Action repression frequently shows up not only as under-doing action but also grossly over-doing action. This primarily occurs when we feel anxious and need to distract ourselves by doing something. Becoming more conscious about how one has been imprinted to behave in certain ways, allows one to expand beyond their imprinting and do things consciously instead.

Paradoxically, imprinted Modes are pre-programmed actions that provide us a way to distance ourselves from our pain of not being appreciated. In this way we can always feel justified that we did the best we could. Modes are also conditioned patterns of success we use to overcome past adversity. Individuals usually do two or three modes naturally, but may have others that are imprinted. The various modes can be grouped by Inspiration, Action, Expression and Assimilation, and also by their one-on-one versus one-on-many application. Each mode has its opposite, for example Reserve is the opposite of Passion, Caution is the opposite of Power, Perseverance is the opposite of Aggression, and Observation is the neutral position that relates to them all.

The first two are Inspiration, the second two are Expression and the last two are Action, and Observation is on the Assimilation axis. Sometimes we will burn out on one pole and swing to the other to regenerate. It is also possible that we are imprinted by one or more of these factors in which case we don’t usually slide to the opposite, unless we are imprinted by that one as well. Most higher level WorldView people tend to use Passion, Power and Observation more consistently than the others. We must remember, however, that these are just instinctive patterns in which the more conscious we are, the more capable we are of creating what we want in each moment.



Reserved

Reserved is a circumstance or situation in which a person doing Reserved sets up ways for other people to engage him or her on their terms. It is best identified by the sense of repressed elegance like Cary Grant. It is quiet, contained, focused and encourages self-discipline about what is needed. It also conveys a distant sense of power and restraint. Individuals doing Reserve are withdrawn but interested in others. In some ways, Reserve can come off as sophisticated and suave because it has an air of refinement to it. Reserve is actually very self-disciplined and controlled internally, so that when they do take action, it is with a certain panache and sense of discrimination.

This sense of being tempered, tasteful, and civilized encourages others to give them space and room for expression. Overall, it is the sense of restraint that impresses others because it seems like they do not have to lower themselves to the level of others. This type of activity is based on a minimalist expression, which is somewhat paradoxical because they do more with less. They can also be extremely influential and large in their expression. Their influence is extremely accentuated when they operate as a mysterious person of considerable social position or authority. Underneath Reserve, is a sense of shyness that can be endearing to others. When it is natural, it comes across as whimsical and tender. In this situation, they are developing self-discipline and focus. The fear of those doing a Mode of Reserve is that others will not embrace them. About 2% of the world population is working in a primary Mode of Reserve, while 12% have a Mode of Reserve to some degree.

Reserved imprinting is identified by the way individuals close themselves off from other people, to give themselves time to re-generate. The primary indicators of Reserved imprinting show up as inhibition and suppression where individuals are afraid to experiment. The imprinting itself is more cautious than when doing Reserve in a natural way. In other words, being in a primary mode of Reserved has more elegance and focus in being pulled back as a way to refine their expression. When you are imprinted with Reserve, you are not socially adept and commonly make mistakes. The lack of elegance makes it easy for others to see that you do not have their interests at heart. Those with Reserve imprinting will retreat and withdraw immediately from public contact when they are overwhelmed. Ironically, they are so terrified of being overwhelmed, they frequently try to divert attention from themselves by setting others up to experience difficulties. The belief that is held by those in Reserve is “I do not need to deal with this right now” whenever things become too intense or difficult.

When not natural, Reserve is more superficial and typically used to throw others off balance. In this situation, there is the appearance of more force, tension, and even a sense of desperation could come into play. When a person is imprinted with Reserve over Reserve as a natural way of being, it further deepens the conflict and they seem more inhibited, suppressed, blocked, and depressed. Instead of being expressive, they tend to be more isolating in their activity and keep themselves separate from others. They can even use this isolation to appear aloof, indifferent, and even disconnected from what is normal. This is the way they try to create the illusion of safety. It is this isolation that encourages them to find ways to blame or shame others so they don’t have to deal with their own tension and fears. Ironically, the act of separating themselves from others can actually generate reactions in others by which they infer that they are not good enough, when in fact, it feels the person imprinted with Reserve is not good enough for others. When it is imprinting, it comes across as cold and indifferent. Unlike genuine Reserve, those individuals who are imprinted with Reserve are typically emotionally closed down.

Primary Focus—To approach their goals in a controlled, self-disciplined manner. To be an example of grace and elegance; the true appreciation of beauty.
Responsive characteristics—Restraint, discipline, refined, tempered, elegant, sublime, civilized, tasteful.
Reactive characteristics—Inhibited, suppressed, constrained, blocked, depressed.
Number of individuals primarily using this mode: 2%.
Examples: Fred Astaire, Mia Farrow, Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Ingrid Bergman, Candice Bergen, Grace Kelly, David Niven, Mr. Rogers, Michael Jackson, Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable, Jane Pauley, Allistair Cooke

Passion

Individuals doing Passion are inclusive and use their enthusiasm to encourage people to engage in some new way. They are open and have the ability to engage everything whenever it comes up. It is the general form of engagement that allows people to connect with others. Passion is the most open and available Mode, allowing others to show up in whatever way they want in response to it. People in a Mode of Passion can seem uncontainable and unpredictable to others. Passion operates by inviting others to share their enthusiasm. It is this invitation that tends to level the playing field so that individuals feel comfortable finding some way to become part of the process. When doing a Mode of Passion naturally, people operate with a great intensity of feeling, attracting resources and people to whatever they do.

In this way, their heightened awareness of where they are relative to others allows them to know how and when to propose ideas that others will accept. At its best, Passion allows people to quickly actualize their potential by using their infectious energy to bring together the right people and resources so that the group accomplishes things quickly. The downside of Passion is that people can get lost in the process and forget everything but what they are working on in that moment. While many think that this experience of timelessness is refreshing and uplifting, it is likely that when overdoing Passion, people can be so involved that they are not paying attention to the schedule or sequencing of events necessary to accomplish things most effectively. Approximately 34% have a natural primary Mode of Passion, while 30% have Passion naturally in some way. One of the big fears of others around individuals in Passion is that no one is prioritizing what needs to be done to make sure the total solution comes into focus.

Passion imprinted are scared of their passion being repressed or subverted for the benefit of others. When not natural, Passion results in people becoming entangled. Those imprinted with Passion do not manifest openness and inclusiveness but instead have trouble unifying the various elements to make things happen. The result is that Passion imprinted people do not connect with others in ways that generate enthusiasm. They frequently miss or misjudge the underlying conflicts that undermine results being produced. All activities are seen to have a downside, that they fear will overcome them. They keep themselves subtly distanced from what is going on so that they do not have to take responsibility for when things do not occur. Passion imprinting is more a process of acting like individuals care and are involved, when in reality they do not and are not. Being naturally Passionate and also having an imprint of Passion can result in greater unpredictability.

We find ourselves sometimes caught up in our fears, which limits our willingness to engage and at other times, adventurous and daring in our commitment to make things happen. This occurs because of the shifts between our fears and desires. It is particularly challenging for others to work with these individuals because they require constant attention to make sure they do not fall into and get lost in their fears. In other words, when one is both imprinted and naturally Passionate, they need to consciously separate out their personal interests from the group interests or else they will feel submerged in and limited by the process. Passion imprinted individuals can become overly passionate and find themselves in relationship with others who do not accept their passion, which sets them up to be hurt. Many Passion imprinted individuals are therefore conscious and do passion only when they cannot be hurt or affected by how things work out. This teaches them detachment. Those with primary Passion do not check with themselves before jumping into passion. Individuals who are imprinted in Passion learn to sequence their responsiveness based on seeing what others are doing, and engaging in a preprogrammed way only to the degree that they feel met. Passion imprinting thus limits their willingness to expose themselves and be available to those who have demonstrated their loyalty.

Primary Focus—To learn the lesson of identification: losing themselves in projects, persons or goals.
Responsive characteristics— Self-actualization (experience of heightened awareness), realization, intensely alive, energetic, open, involved, dramatic.
Reactive characteristics—Identification (loss of identity), taking the part as the whole, no boundaries, not “I have a problem,” but “I am the problem.”
Number of individuals primarily using this mode: 10%.
Examples: Whoopie Goldberg, Goldie Hawn, Oprah Winfrey, Ray Charles, Warren Beatty, Dudley Moore, Jerry Lewis, Flip Wilson, Elvis Presley, Albert Einstein, Meg Ryan, Dustin Hoffman

Caution

Caution — Individuals doing Caution feel they have to double and triple-check their assumptions and whatever is going on around them to make sure things are what they seem. This keeps them from being fully engaged or present. Usually they are deliberate and unwilling to relax. An aspect of their identity is derived by their need to anticipate and address certain fears. The first goal is to assure their own safety and then to anticipate the safety needs of others as well. What most individuals do not realize is that those with a mode of caution are actually working to address and neutralize their fears. This is distinct from Caution imprinting where individuals do not want to confront or engage their fears consciously.

This Mode can be very supportive to those in physically dangerous careers for it makes them check their safety equipment and focuses them on keeping mistakes to a minimum. By looking before leaping into new situations, they are able to guarantee their survival under the most challenging circumstances. They seek structure and laws to protect them from what they fear. This keeps many from taking risks and doing things that have no safety net. This Mode dramatically increases the odds that people will not be taken advantage of, or cheated. Caution can be a very effective Mode, particularly when in fast-changing times. Currently, approximately 8% have a primary mode of Caution and 20-30% of the world’s population use Caution in some natural way.

Caution imprinted individuals are even more cautious than those with a primary Caution mode. They end up closing most people out of their lives because of their fears that something can go wrong. Usually this distancing occurs because others judge their fears as unfounded. Caution imprinted individuals believe that others can take advantage of them if given “the opening and the opportunity”. Therefore they resolve not to give others any chance for this to occur. While they may express their concerns in tactful or diplomatic ways, when imprinted with a Mode of Caution, people can be phobic, unreasonably fearful, and unable to move or act even when it is in support of their safety. This is because they have no way of measuring or anticipating the degree of danger in any situation. To them all fears operate on the same level of intensity. They become overly fixated and self-absorbed in finding the right solution in the moment and, if they cannot make a choice, they unknowingly let circumstances evolve that can be dangerous.

They overuse the freeze protective mechanism where they “play dead” in the hopes they do not attract unwanted attention. It is ironic that when indecisive about safety, fears make people hyper-aware of their security issues. When in a natural Mode of Caution with Caution imprinting, people are most challenged and reactive to the issues of safety and security. They can actually tempt fate by becoming daredevils where they push the limits in order to find ways to make themselves feel internally safe. While many doing Caution can temporarily experience hopelessness and anxiety around a particular decision, it is only those with Caution imprinting that dwell in these characteristics for extended periods of time. In this way, when imprinted with Caution, people are much more reactive and fearful. Most people with an imprint of Caution have more issues with scarcity and, therefore, tend not to manifest themselves abundantly by trying to hold on to everything they have, fearing that the future will bring them to their knees in some unexpected way. Caution Mode imprinted individuals do not want to be considered difficult, but they can sometimes be so fixated on safety and security issues that others consider them hopelessly phobic. They typically express their concerns outwardly to get feedback from other people before making final decisions.

Primary Focus—To guarantee survival and facilitate difficult choices when they were young. Some individuals remain in this difficult mode because it increases the odds that they won’t be taken advantage of or cheated. Mostly, Security WorldView individuals choose this mode. It supports individuals not jumping into new situations without consideration.
Responsive characteristics— Deliberate, cautious, safe, quick to recognize danger, tactful, diplomatic.
Reactive characteristics—Phobic, unreasonably fearful, unable to move or act, feelings of hopelessness and anxiety.
Number of individuals primarily using this mode: 20%.
Examples: Dan Rather, George Bush, Sr., Robert Redford, James Dean, Vanna White, Howard Hughes, David Letterman, Barbara Bush

Power

Individuals doing Power develop a sense of authority and naturally like to take control and make things happen in a particular way. Power Mode accentuates structured responses based on a demonstrated capacity to be resourceful and committed to a pre-set outcome. They can easily be identified by the assumption that they are the ones who should determine what happens next. While Caution Mode holds back, Power Mode takes charge pre-emptively. Individuals doing Power want the agreement of others about how things will be accomplished but are unwilling to compromise themselves in order to attain this goal. Instead of actively listening to others, they use their apparent or inherent authority to propose exactly how they believe it should work.

The benefit of this approach is that their natural decisiveness can create positive responses from sub-ordinates, especially if they do not know what to do themselves. The downside of this mode is that it undermines consensual or egalitarian efforts to work together to determine what to do. Power focuses everybody into prescribed ways of operating around the person in the Mode of Power. This is because they overtly or covertly want to be the center of attention. They are unwilling to compromise themselves or their objectives to make others feel comfortable or safe. This creates fear and distance when others have an aversion to authorities dictating how things should be done. They have a natural command of the information and activities to such a degree that they do not have to prove themselves knowledgeable. They learn to trust their natural direction and just go that way. Their ability to be certain about what is needed is impressed on others in such a way that they feel good about responding. Power leads to some of the most developed boundaries because their own organizational framework is so tightly defined.

This means that a Power Mode individual is extremely effective in hierarchal command and control organizations. It also means that this Mode is problematic in situations that are not well defined and require the participation of others in non-structured creative frameworks. Power Mode individuals are usually not adaptive or willing to compromise themselves unless they see a much larger benefit to doing so. Power mode people accentuate both control pretenses and authority body types. They also accentuate the sense of power and make Warriors and Kings more grounded when they are in dominance. They are typically a lightning rod for those individuals who operate in different Modes. If others do not agree with them, those doing Power feel stymied and usually do not know how to respond quickly to changes, but they do not seek to make others wrong and are willing to be soft-spoken. They typically attempt to manifest exalted goals in their life work or career. Approximately 10% of the world’s population does Power Mode as a primary means of expression, so 18-22% do Power as part of their natural way of engaging others.

Power imprinted individuals are typically scared to be in their power fully because of what others may think about them. Usually this is because they grew up in a household where power was done to them, not with them. They seek to be powerful without dictating to others how it should be because they do not wish to be identified with the way in which their parents did Power mode. Unfortunately, when they are scared, they overreact which results in them acting domineering and oppressive without them realizing it. They can also be identified by their belief that there is an appropriate time and place for power, that “ I have to make sure that others are ready for it before doing it”. This means that they second guess where power should show and where it should not, instead of believing that power is just a natural state of being. With Power imprinting, there is more of a focus on outer power at the cost of true inner creative power. In this situation, people do not experience their power as an individual, but rather the fixation on what they are trying to accomplish. Imprinted Power individuals are pushy and bully others into others doing what they want out of the fear that something important will not occur.

They project a need to take action, without realizing that the way they are doing it places uncomfortable demands on others to respond. Power-imprinted individuals do not fully grasp a situation and end up constantly having to prove they know more than others. They do not seek the agreement of others and will only make changes in their ideas when it has been proven that it is an efficient way to get something done. They are critical and try to prove all others wrong, arising from the fear that others will take their power away from them. When naturally in and also imprinted with a Mode of Power, people focus on outer appearance and end up discounting their inner creative power, producing a lack of trust in others about their power to implement. The mixed message  of needing to be powerful yet doubting their own power, usually creates resistance in others to follow their demands. Others can often sense their fear and confusion. Those with imprinted Power Mode on top of natural Power Mode are not able to conform to others at all, nor do they want to. The challenge is to identify when they are internally congruent with a direction or course of action and when they are not.

Primary Focus—Learning to use power appropriately, to support individuals in exalted lifetimes manifest their objectives.
Responsive characteristics— Authorities, know what they are talking about, have a powerful presence, self-confident, in control.
Reactive characteristics— Oppressive, domineering, evoking fear in others, taking or asserting power without consent, pushy, bullying.
Number of individuals primarily using this mode: 10%.
Examples: Madonna, Raquel Welch, Frank Sinatra, Rosie O’Donnell, Alfred Hitchcock, Robert Mitchum, Lauren Hutton, Linda Carter, Mikhail Gorbachev, Anthony Hopkins

Perseverance

Perseverance mode is learned in childhood as a natural response to a lack of support from parents or peers. It evolves from an attempt to overcome adversity and the belief that you need to prove yourself by succeeding where others do not. Otherwise, you have no value or legitimate claim on being a mover and shaker in the world. Perseverance is commonly linked to Stoic attitudes, and is more endurance oriented. It fixates on the perception that strength is all a matter of commitment and will. Individuals doing Perseverance pride themselves on their ability to endure challenges and seek to build momentum toward a goal by repeating it in ways that constantly seek in small ways to improve the situation. In this way, Perseverance individuals reflects an incremental approach, believing that toughening themselves up is going to get them where they need to go.

They focus on overcoming resistance (their own and others) at all costs. They desire carefully designed step-by-step plans where, if an obstacle occurs, they can re-group and engage the process again. They are able to deal with many hardships in life better than individuals in other Modes. They comfort themselves by believing that the obstacles they overcome make them better people. When they engage options, they can see the upside and downside and weigh the situation effectively. They can easily be persistent without becoming overly attached. The benefit is that they can become enduring without thinking of themselves as victims of the process. Finally, they can become goal-oriented without becoming fixated on the details. They can carry out big, long-term projects without the need for positive feedback. The characteristic of being unflappable in the face of what others perceive as a challenge is one of the best indicators of natural Perseverance. Ironically, it is not their toughness, but their humility and vulnerability in the face of overwhelming odds that is heroic. Approximately 10-12% use Perseverance in some natural way, but only 8% use it as their primary Mode.

Perseverance imprinted individuals cannot give up when things are not going well. They are easily identified by their tenacity in making things work before they let something go. Their belief is that they cannot let the circumstance or situation get them down so they feel the need to prove themselves before they move forward. Individuals with natural Perseverance are even more ingrained in this process, believing that they should not leave a relationship until they know how to fix it. This accentuates a constant re-enactment of their problems until they are willing to confront. The downside is that they do not realize that it is often their assumptions that need to be challenged. At their core, individuals with Perseverance imprinting confuse situational assumptions with life and death struggles in their past. What they most want to cover up is how they were at the affect of their caretakers’ willingness to support them. Their unwillingness to confront this vulnerability, leads them to confuse current needs to change with previous traumas where they didn’t have a choice about how to respond differently.

As a result, they cannot see new options, opportunities or when change is appropriate. What this means is that natural Perseverance has no choice about how to engage a particular situation. For example, a fear of being rejected or alone, places a Perseverance individual in this fear where they cannot engage any new options (other than what they had at that traumatic time). They can be identified by the belief that they just have to go a little deeper to understand and appreciate the pattern so that they can move forward. Unfortunately, they find themselves unable to do so as long as the fear keeps re-emerging and dominating their life. Imprinted Perseverance individuals, on the other hand, have more flexibility about who and what to engage and for how long. The important thing to remember is that this Perseverance trauma of not considering choices can become a useful tool to motivate them to embrace change.

It forces them to realize how capable they really are at overcoming life’s challenges. Healing Perseverance means learning how to use the inner concentration and focus in a way that can actually be more directed to meet a new situation rather than to deal with old ones. Persons who are imprinted in Perseverance are not willing admit anything and instead become more stubborn and dogged in their efforts. The more they are imprinted in this Mode, the more likely they are to lack spontaneity and end up being unconscious about the affect their imprinting is having on others. Usually this shows up as a rigidity as to what possibilities they see in any particular situation. Perseverance imprinted individuals like to have pre-structured responses that have been deemed safe because of past practices. Any new way of being is resisted and or questioned until it has demonstrated its current appropriateness or value. Ironically, the more imprinted people are with Perseverance, the more unwilling they are to get out of personal, professional, and financial relationships that are not working.

They have to succeed in some way before they can call it quits because they never want to end on a down note. Imprinted Perseverers want to appear that they are not hurt, shaken, or concerned by the lack of progress being made, but it is not true. Their choices are diminished and their attachments to success become greater, keeping them from recognizing when to leave a situation. Also, they demand feedback, believing that each and every obstacle is a personal attack on their well-being. They seek to prove their capabilities no matter what the odds. The more people care what others think, the more it is the imprinting of Perseverance constructing a false toughness and stoic framework that is unreasonable and unsustainable. They eventually breakdown and succumb to the process when they find themselves completely isolated and unsupported, while those in natural Perseverance keep merrily going on. This means it is even more confusing when an individual has both natural and imprinted Perseverance. In this situation, they will find themselves vacillating between their natural strength and faking it. Until they know the difference, there is no way out of this dilemma. The result is that they will crash and burn in certain areas, revealing where they are inauthentic. This allows them to re-integrate these disassociated areas and with humility, find more natural ways to respond.

Primary Focus—Chosen when the spirit wants to be sure that the personality will follow through on difficult lessons or life tasks.
Responsive characteristics—Persistent, enduring, goal-oriented, able to carry out long-term projects, aims, or goals.
Reactive characteristics— Immutable, unchangeable, dogged, lacking spontaneity, driven, repetitive.
Number of individuals primarily using this mode: 14%.
Examples: Thomas Edison, Lee Iacocca, Abraham Lincoln, Sir. Thomas Shackelton, Peggy Fleming, Chuck Norris, OJ Simpson, Diane Feinstein, and Mother Theresa

Aggression

Aggression mode supports people in being assertive, vital, taking a stand and being focused in the moment in their capacity to solve problem. While it can be used to suppress others, its highest, best use is to wake other people up to what they are not seeing. Tom Peters, a management consultant, is a good example of this quality. He is adventurous, a risk-taker, and you don’t know what he will do next. Aggression is also demonstrated by how many champion fighters possess this quality of being able to dynamically adjust to circumstances to assert their pre-dominance over opponents. In short, Aggression Mode permits individuals to naturally identify the strengths and weaknesses of others, and thereby demonstrate their capacity to prevail.

Individuals doing Aggression emphasize movement and flow. Typically, they are highly motivated in getting activity initiated. For this reason, they can be seen as short-tempered, unpredictable and even dangerous. Complementing this sense of danger, they also have a natural charisma that inspires people to participate in whatever activity they are doing. They are successful because of their ability to push forward and engage others directly, particularly when things are difficult. It shows up best in situations where they are able to be a leader catalyzing people to engage things that the people normally would have found to be fearful. It is useful for emergency rescue personnel and individuals confronting extreme situations to have a Mode of Aggression. They take a stand for themselves and operate in a way without compromise so that others are inspired to do the same.

Many explorers have a natural Mode of Aggression which allows them to push themselves farther than they believe they can go and be adventurous and risk-taking even when a rational perspective would tell others it is time to give up. They consider themselves doers and hate to be seen as passive bystanders. When operating in a natural Mode of Aggression, people only act for the good of the whole and not themselves. What is often misunderstood about the higher expression of Aggression, is that it is always for the common good. It teaches us to push beyond pre-conceived limits and to embrace larger options. This is why Perseverance Mode is the opposite of Aggression Mode. Aggression is and can be expressed in uplifting ways. While many individuals in our society are scared of Aggression energy, particularly Aggression imprinting, this Mode has gotten a bad rap because we are now “too civilized” for it. Individuals with a primary natural Mode of Aggression constitute only 8% of the world’s population, and approximately 18% do some form of natural Aggression.

Aggression imprinted individuals are fearful about assertive activity because, typically, they were at the affect of this in their lives. Usually someone was a bully and attempted to provoke them into taking action, believing that it was for their own good. This is particularly true, because natural Aggression sees it’s contribution as catalyzing different responses to the situation. This means that Aggression imprinted individuals are very careful around people that move quickly or take charge in a way that is direct and forceful. Ironically, their imprinting drives them to be hyper-vigilant which tends to trigger the same reactiveness in others. It is paradoxical that their imprint provokes them to unconsciously attack others, when in fact they despise anyone who is a bully. The difference between Aggression on a primary level and imprinted Aggression is how much they trust their inner drive to express themselves in activity. Aggression imprinted individuals can be identified by the belief that there is no appropriate time and place to be overly assertive, demanding and intense.

Those with Aggression Mode imprinting are more belligerent, obnoxious, and self-destructive in that they seek to be seen as tough externally and, therefore, put themselves in dangerous situations they do not know how to handle. Rather than acknowledge this, they focus their Aggression outwardly by making others wrong. They are often seen as self-centered, pushy, and as using others for personal gain, when in fact, it is mainly their isolation and indifference that causes this reaction. This imprinted Mode particularly irritates those with Goals of Acceptance, Submission or Re-evaluation because it is perceived as unfair and unneeded. With Aggression imprinting on top of a natural Mode of Aggression, people lose themselves in the drama they are creating. It becomes easy to justify attacking others because they feel attacked. With natural Aggression covered up by Aggression imprinting, it creates a situation in which the reaction feeds feelings of persecution, which stimulates natural Aggressive energy into activity that will end the threat. Aggression Mode imprinted individuals are the fastest to escalate a confrontation, when they are in fact unconsciously supporting such. This occurs because they do not see how their hyper-activity naturally provokes a visceral response in the physical presence of others. Examples of where this escalation is unconscious shows up in road rage or other hyper-competitive turf battles.

Primary Focus—Used to put a cutting edge on the personality, sometimes after many passive lifetimes, to take a stand, operate from beliefs, or support their survival.
Responsive characteristics—Dynamic, assertive, action and goal-oriented, adventurous, risk- taking.
Reactive characteristics— Belligerent, pushy, selfish, obnoxious, using others for their own ends, destructive, attacking.
Number of individuals primarily using this mode: 4%.
Examples: Humphrey Bogart, Mr. T, Tom Peters, Val Kilmer, Malcolm X, Werner Erhard, Jerry Lee Lewis, Robert DeNiro, John Belushi, Lucille Ball, Richard Pryor

Observation

When we have Observation imprinting, we are naturally removed and withhold ourselves from participating with others. Others rightly perceive that we are judgmental. People feel under surveillance and scrutiny when they are the focus of an Observation-imprinted person. This is because individuals naturally believe that people in Observation imprinting are going to judge and find fault with them. For example, Rep. Joseph McCarthy, who headed the House Committee on Un-American Activities in the early to mid-1950’s capitalized on the fear of surveillance to obtain confessions. What’s more, he felt justified pressuring individuals to inform on their friends who might be Communists.

This reflects the negative effect of Observation imprinting. It is also true that many people feel self-conscious when they are being observed by others, which could reflect either a natural Observation Mode or Observation imprinting. The more reactive we are about our ability to see and be with others, the more likely it is that we are engaging Observation imprinting, rather than natural Observation Mode. This is because there is some judgment that goes on when we are doing Observation imprinting.

Since Observation is the neutral position, it usually gets along with all other Modes in an equal way. The only one it has some difficulty with is Reserved, where individuals feel very self-conscious, because they are shy about other people observing them. In the United States, Observation and Observation imprinting is the most common Mode (with Passion following as a close second). This is because Observation in the U.S. is almost a culturally mandated way of expanding and improving our creative processes. This is because of the large number of Think-First individuals (explained in Chapter 6) who keep returning to Observation as a way to determine if some new possibility has occurred. The most important element of Observation is that it provides time for assessment and feedback.

Individuals like Leonard Nimoy are great examples of both Observation and Think-First combinations. His neutrality sets him apart and makes him believable as a scientist on the TV show, “Star Trek”. Since then his works of poetry have further amplified his focus on bringing new ideas together in a systematic way that allows a natural cyclic process of engagement, disengagement, observation, and observation again. Almost 30% of the world has a natural primary Mode of Observation, with almost 65% of the population doing Observation as one of their Modes. In the world today, there is more imprinting for Observation than any other Mode, which means it is likely that 90% of the world has some degree of Observation imprinting. Observation is amplified by the Goals of Discrimination, Dominance, and Growth, and is minimized by the Goals of Submission, Acceptance, or Re-Evaluation.

Primary Focus—Learning and assimilating new information. We can identify this mode by the degree of neutrality a person operates from when first meeting someone else. The greater the neutrality, the more likely they are observers first. They then move to one of the other modes when they are clear how they want to deal with the situation.
Responsive characteristics—Clarity, awareness, attention, absorptive, spectator, observer, having a neutral perspective.
Reactive characteristics—Surveillance, scrutiny, removed, inactive, withholding.
Number of individuals primarily using this mode: 50%.
Examples: Patrick Stewart, Jennifer Aniston, Jim Lehrer, Robert “Bob” Dole, Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters, Chevy Chase, Kris Kristofferson, Mary Tyler Moore, Phil Collins, Alan Ginsberg, Ted Koppel, Margaret Mead

Identifying Mode Imprinting

Imprinting around Modes makes us doubt our power to implement our goals because we typically sabotage our ability to implement. When we are imprinted to be a Mode that we are not, this creates a pattern of activity where we are not owning our own power. Instead we are deferring to the way our parents took care of this particular area. This is the way that many people end up behaving like their parents without realizing it. When we become more conscious about how we have been imprinted to behave in certain ways, we find we can expand beyond our imprinting and do things consciously instead.

The way to identify our imprinting is found in the beliefs we hold and the ways we operate under stress. We will go over the seven different Modes and discuss how we can identify our own patterns of activity and recognize the patterns of activity in others.

Reserved Imprinting

We are over-identified with our behavior to the degree that we appear inhibited, constrained and suppressed particularly in comparison to natural Reserve individuals. With Reserve imprinting we do not feel as connected to our inner beauty and serenity and therefore focus ourselves more on our outer minimalist presentation. Paradoxically, we seek more interaction with others and then feel overwhelmed when we get it. Our cool indifference hides a desire to break out and be seen by others. Our partners can best support us by being warm and easy-going and not falling into the trap of over-doing our role-playing.

Reserved imprinting is identified by the way they close themselves off from other people, giving themselves time to re-generate within themselves. The imprinting itself is more cautious than when we are doing Reserve on a primary level. In other words, being in a primary mode of Reserved has more elegance and focus in using being pulled back as a way to refine their expression. When we are imprinted with Reserve, we do not naturally do the refinement any more, we are more committed to using our own isolation to protect ourselves. Those with Reserve imprinting will retreat and withdraw immediately from public contact when they are overwhelmed. The belief that is held onto by those in Reserve is “I do not need to deal with this right now” whenever things become too intense or difficult.

Passion Imprinting

Our behavior is seen as dramatic and compromised by individuals with natural Passion mode. Passion imprinted individuals need to be involved in everything. While we need quiet self-reflection time, we believe we have to perform to satisfy others, causing us to lose ourselves in the desires they manifest. We feel like we have no choice about how we are going to accomplish something because we automatically begin to respond to the intentions of others. A partner needs to focus us on our own truth, otherwise we will become overly interested in helping them to explain things to us. Passion imprinted individuals can become scared of actually doing Passion because it does not always work out.

In other words, Passion imprinted individuals can become overly passionate and find themselves in relationship with others who do not accept their passion and they are hurt. Many Passion imprinted individuals are therefore conscious and do passion only when it feels safe with others or when it is not vital to their well-being. People with primary Passion do not check with themselves before jumping into passion. Passion imprinted individuals always check whether this is the right circumstance in which to be passionate. Individuals with imprinted Passion believe that there is a perfect time and place for passion and they have to figure it out in advance.

Caution Imprinting

Our behavior can be seen by individuals who manifest natural Caution mode as being either phobic or unreasonably fearful. With Caution mode imprinting we are more attached to our fears and doubt our reality completely. Many times, our long-term goals are compromised by the need to handle everything up front. Our partners would do best by reassuring this individual that they are not really causing any difficulty by the demands they are placing on the situation. Caution imprinted individuals are even more cautious than those with a primary Caution mode. They end up closing most people out of their lives because of their fears that something can go wrong. Caution imprinted individuals believe that others can take advantage of them if given “the opening and the opportunity.” Therefore they resolve not to give others this opening.

Power Imprinting

Our behavior can be seen as driven because we need to be seen as being stubbornly successful in our own way particularly by other individuals who are naturally persevering. With Perseverance imprinting we get so attached to the image of overcoming adversity that we do not focus on the inner qualities of our strength. The key issue for our partners is not to directly challenge our assumptions, rather to show this individual how we are meeting and exceeding their assumptions. Occasionally, our desire to be seen as strong gets in the way of our ability to express ourselves, especially around the problems we see in our life. Power imprinted individuals are typically scared to be in their power fully because of what others may think about them. Usually this is because they grew up in a household where power was done to them, not with them. They seek to be powerful without dictating to others how it should be because they do not wish to be identified with the way in which their parents did Power mode. They can be identified by their belief that there is an appropriate time and place for power that “ I’ve got to make sure that others are ready for it before doing it.”

Perseverance Imprinting

Our behavior can be seen as driven because we need to be seen as being stubbornly successful in our own way particularly by other individuals who are naturally persevering. With Perseverance imprinting we get so attached to the image of overcoming adversity that we do not focus on the inner qualities of our strength. The key issue for our partners is not to directly challenge our assumptions, rather to show this individual how we are meeting and exceeding their assumptions. Occasionally, our desire to be seen as strong gets in the way of our ability to express ourselves, especially around the problems we see in our life.

Perseverance imprinted individuals cannot give up when things are not going well. They are easily identified by their tenacity in making things work before they let something go. Their belief is that they cannot let the circumstance or situation get them down so they feel the need to prove themselves before they move forward. Individuals with full Perseverance are even more ingrained in this process, believing that they should not leave a relationship until they know how to fix it. Imprinted Perseverance individuals have more flexibility about who and what to engage and for how long. They can be identified by the belief that they just have to go a little deeper to understand and appreciate the pattern so that they can move forward.

Aggression Imprinting

Our behavior can be seen as obnoxious, belligerent and demanding, particularly with individuals who do Aggression naturally. With Aggression imprinting we want what we want and are unwilling to compromise what we want in any way. We see ourselves as manifestors who make things happen and do not want to be associated with wimps, or to be seen as passive in any way. Others need to acknowledge and value the physical prowess of this individual to focus them on any interaction. Aggression imprinted individuals can be fearful about assertive activity because, typically, they were at the effect of this around their parents. This means that they are very careful around people that move quickly or take charge in a way that is direct and forceful. Ironically, they end up doing this to other people without realizing it. The difference between Aggression on a primary level and imprinted Aggression is how much they trust their inner drive to express themselves in activity. Aggression imprinted individuals can be identified by the belief that there is no appropriate time and place to be overly assertive, demanding and intense.

Observation Imprinting

Our behavior can be seen as scrutiny or the surveillance of others, particularly by natural Observers. Many people can falsely interpret this interest as being judgmental. Actually, we feel compromised by our inability to intervene or fix situations that we perceive are not working out. This occurs because while we are focusing on understanding something, we do not naturally feel connected to doing something about it. Observation imprinted individuals believe they should observe and be able to remember the details of circumstances for a period of time, yet they do not necessarily have the attention span and memory necessary to recall exactly what happened two weeks ago. An individual who does Observation on a primary level can remember the details of circumstances and situation easily, making those with imprints feel inadequate around those who imprinted them. Observation imprinted individuals operate from the belief that details are important, yet usually have trouble in keeping track of the details in their life.

MODES COMPATIBILITY CONSIDERATIONS

Clearly Recognizing Our Mode Reactions

When we experience a reaction it indicates we have triggered an internal fear that we won’t be able to live up to the expectations of others. We then create counter-beliefs to offset these fears. Explore the following reactions primarily to identify our Mode imprinting. In this section we are assuming that all of the remaining compatibility factors are the same, so we can focus on the Mode differences. We will first deal with the reactions we experience when one person with a Mode meets another individual with the same Mode:

1. Reserved with Reserved. Either individual could react to the other person because the scope of their interest is different and doesn’t overlap. Therefore, the priorities and willingness to connect would be compromised. One of the biggest issues that comes up for a person in Reserved is when they feel forced to conform to others expectations. This means a person in Reserved could be very reactive to another person with a Mode of Reserved. The ironic issue is that both have something to contribute, but they are both so independent in their way of contributing it, they do not know how to meet each other.

2. Caution with Caution. These individuals will likely only get along to the degree that they both have a common fear that keeps them from breaking out of their prescribed framework of activities. When there is no common framework they are likely to test each other to determine if there is trust and acceptance. If not, it is common that they will seek to undermine the other. If some individual has natural Caution and another person has Caution imprinting, there is a high likelihood that they will fight to prove who can make things the safest. A competitive framework reducing dramatically the chance of any cooperation.

3. Perseverance with Perseverance. Two individuals in Perseverance could find it extremely difficult to be with each other if there was not a pre-established common goal. This is because Perseverance and Perseverance imprinting don’t like to hang out with each other unless they can be Persevering together. If there was a common purpose, two individuals in Perseverance could work as a team extremely well because of the alignment they feel about the common endeavor they are engaged in together. When two individuals have different goals and they’re being Persevering, there is a common understanding, but not a common interest, which makes them believe that competition will arise.

4. Passion with Passion. Two individuals in Passion could find it very easy to be with each other and work well together. The common process of writing down and clarifying what the goal is would help facilitate interactions if they agreed on the Modes they would use to accomplish it. They might experience conflict in the way it’s being approached, but this will not handicap them in their acceptance of each other because Passion is the most inclusive Mode.

5. Power with Power. Two individuals with a Mode of Power would not naturally find it easy to be with each other unless there was a common purpose to which both agreed. Since people in Power Mode are so task-oriented, it is about focusing on the sequence of activities and giving the people around them something to do. If two people in Power Mode are assigning work, there may be a conflict if the workers don’t know who, in the final analysis, is in charge. In this way, having two people with a Mode of Power who are in conflict could be the worst thing to do if we want to be successful. Usually, one person in Power Mode takes charge and they do the Power Mode for the group.

6. Aggression with Aggression. Two individuals in Aggression might find it very difficult to work together. Unless they were in a process that allowed them to both fully be doing the activity together, they would not be happy. The likelihood is that they would respect each other on an intellectual level, but would not know how to make things happen in a positive way. For example, two fighters in a ring, both in Aggression, would spur each other on to heroic feats of endeavor. If one fighter is not in Aggression Mode, it would not catalyze the other into making greater efforts because that connection is not there.

7. Observation with Observation. Two individuals in Observation would do very well together talking about possibilities until they actually starting going to their other Modes which may conflict. For example, if one person is in Observation and their secondary is to go to Caution and the other person’s secondary is to go to Power, this would create an immediate conflict. As long as people are in the Mode of Observation, they do very well with each other.

8. Reserved with Passion. An individual with a Mode of Reserved would tend to be very selective about what they are willing to engage. If the individual in Passion is willing to accommodate the person in Reserved, the relationship will go well. This is because both of these energies are based on Inspiration and they share a common heritage. As the individual with the Mode of Passion is group-oriented, they may not feel as empowered when they’re interacting one-on-one with the person in Reserved. Since this example is based on one-on-one interaction, it would be easier for the person in Reserved to deal with the person in Passion. This, of course, would change if they were interacting in a group.

9. Caution with Power. A person with a Mode of Caution could find it difficult to be with a person with a Mode of Power. This is because the one-on-one Caution focus would conflict with the group-oriented Power Mode where everything is pushed forward in urgency. This creates a conflict because it doesn’t allow for the person in Caution to check and double-check all the assumptions. On the other hand, a person in Power feels threatened when their plans are questioned or others believe the person in Power didn’t do their homework. In other words, the person with Power could be too driven and rash in a way that the individual with a Mode of Caution finds unsettling. Sometimes these two might feel they are working at odds, even though both are based on the quality of Expression.

10. Perseverance with Aggression. An individual with a Mode of Perseverance can do very well with an individual with a Mode of Aggression. This is because both believe action is the predominant variable that makes something succeed or fail. Since both are action Modes, they can get judgmental with each other if there is a difference in how they believe things should be done. The individual with the Mode of Aggression would have more flexibility around many people because of their group orientation. The person with the Mode of Perseverance would be more isolated and self-directed, preferring not to define themselves by the activities of the group unless there was a compelling reason to do so.

11. Observation with Perseverance. An individual with Observation could be a little challenged by a person in a Mode of Perseverance. Both of the individuals do not demonstrate any strong leadership qualities. It is not just the leadership issue but the lack of a common sense of direction or interest between these two that will cause the problem. The individual with the Mode of Observation is the more self-reflective and passive when it comes to taking action. Perseverance, on the other hand, has strong opinions that translate directly into plans to make something occur. While both of these energies may admire each other, they are very different in nature.

12. Observation with Caution. An individual in a Mode of Observation can understand with a Mode of Caution because both are interested in understanding how things work. This means Observation Mode people are the most able to incorporate the input from an individual in Caution and bring it to the attention of a group. While a person in Caution may not feel comfortable with the open-mindedness of the person with a Mode of Observation, they will feel sympathy for the fact that the person in Observation wants to understand and review things before they happen. For the most part, this energy combination would be a positive one for both sides even though the person in Observation could feel limited by some of the concerns that an individual in Caution would have.

13. Observation with Reserved. An individual with a Mode of Observation operating with a person with a Mode of Reserved can be a great experience. Just like a person in Caution, an individual in Reserved doesn’t like to jump into action and, therefore, is more passive and reflective in their way of operating. This aligns with the person in Observation, allowing the person in Reserved to feel seen and valued where they are. In some ways, the person in Reserved is likely to come out more and be more energetically open around a person in Observation. Additionally, a person in Observation could feel uplifted by the inspirational energy of a person in Reserved. In a way, this connection can be very synergistic and transformational. This is not true for people with Reserved imprinting over their natural Reserved or those with Observation imprinting over their natural Observation.

14. Observation with Passion. An individual with a Mode of Passion can be frightening to a person in Observation because a person in Passion is willing to lose themselves in the process. On the other hand, a person in Observation maintains a sense of detachment from circumstances so they are unwilling to lose themselves in the process. Individuals in a Mode of Observation talk about things ad infinitum, while those in a Mode of Passion prefer to experience what it is, rather than talk about it. This could create conflict about when to do what. Individuals in a Mode of Passion tend to be more spontaneous and do not want to calibrate their activities in terms of a long-term plan, which is in conflict with what makes people in Observation feel safe. This means they will tend to view the person in Passion as a loose cannon. The individual with a Mode of Passion will find the Mode of Observation difficult to comprehend, not only because there is a sense of detachment and indifference to the outcome, but also because the person in Passion finds that the person in Observation shows no remarkable difference in the level of Passion for one option versus another.

15. Observation with Power. An individual with a Mode of Observation can do very well with an individual with a Mode of Power because both are focused on what is needed to make things work. Both have a similar sequence that they go through to validate their experience and the options in front of them. The difference that occurs is that the person in Power wants to be in charge, which means they seek to be the final arbiter of any decisions. This can conflict Mode of a person in Observation because they seek to present all the options to create a sense of free choice among all the participants. A person in the Mode of Power can also be more dramatic by seeking to establish ultimatums to facilitate the implementation of a plan, while the individual with a Mode of Observation feels more un-pressured and doesn’t respond well to being forced to make a decision in a pre-ordained timeframe. Individuals in Observation enjoy letting things occur and accept circumstances as they are. The person in Power is more set in with their way of making things happen, which can create conflict when others don’t see it the same way.

16. Observation with Aggression. When a person in Aggression is balanced and able to act in a creatively flowing way, they can be in alignment with those in a Mode of Observation fairly easily. The problem arises when people in Aggression Mode are frustrated and believe others aren’t willing to listen to them. In this situation, they can attack others for no reason and make the problem seem to be about the people in Observation when, in fact, it is not. The more attached a person in Aggression Mode is to what they’re doing, the more out of balance and conflicted the relationship is with those operating in a Mode of Observation.

17. Perseverance with Caution. An individual with a Mode of Perseverance would find it tough to be around someone with a Mode of Caution. The only common ground they would experience is their common skepticism that things will improve. The challenge with this would be trying to find any degree of alignment in terms of what they’re interested in accomplishing. Assuming there is some alignment, it could be a good match if the person in Perseverance is not put off by the critical nature of the person in Caution. If the person in Perseverance does not judge the person in Caution in any way, a longer-term relationship would be possible. Otherwise, the judgments of a person in Perseverance could wipe out the self-esteem of a person doing Caution.

18. Aggression with Power. An individual in a Mode of Aggression could find it very difficult to be around a person in Power on a personal level. In a business context, it may be possible to make this situation work by delegating the activities to the person in Aggression so that the management function is done by the person in the Mode of Power. This is because the person in Power Mode is more sensitive to the fast-changing circumstances and can re-organize themselves more effectively around the larger picture. The gift of a person doing Aggression Mode is that they can move into activities and make them occur effortlessly. What is ironic is that a person in a Mode of Aggression doesn’t like to take time out to re-prioritize and, in fact, hates the down time between activities. This is because a person in a Mode of Aggression likes to be given a task and be supported in making it happen without having to interrupt their own flow to report to others. A person in Power wants his directions carried out immediately and without question.

19. Caution with Reserved. This combination is usually fairly effective with each other because they both operate very independently in an internal way that doesn’t promote a lot of external action. In other words, their quietness and low-key approach to each other lets them get comfortable with each other’s small differences and peculiarities. Individuals in a Mode of Reserved are very sensitive to judgment of others, just like people with a Mode of Caution. Both are tentative in their approach to others and tend to hold themselves back in many situations, trying to determine what would be appropriate between them. This will create a sense of respect for the differences of each, which will increase the odds that they will get along in most circumstances.

20.  Power with Passion. This combination can work very well together if they both respect each other’s differences and differing methods for getting job done. An individual with a Mode of Passion throws themselves into their process without holding back anything. They seek to lose themselves in their process so they can re-define how things are done and come to the best way of accomplishing the task. It is their energy and enthusiasm that invites others into the process so that group cooperation occurs spontaneously. Power Mode, on the other hand, is the systematic figuring out of what will work by examining all the details of the process. They methodically establish sub-projects and thoughtfully pass them out to others to do. When we are operating in a Power Mode, it is a top down structure, meaning that hierarchy prevails. The most important element is the elimination of the duplication of effort. This is way Power Mode people have something to contribute to Passion Mode and vice versa. The sequencing of the activity by Power Mode people helps the strategy-building process so that individuals are used most effectively. Passion, on the other hand, calibrates not to what people have the skills to do, but what they have the interest and enthusiasm to do. If they can work out and come to agreement on who is doing what and for what reason, they can usually create a synergy to these two Modes that will uplift both. What we don’t do is diminish or deny the passion of a Passion-Mode person. It is also critical not to deny or diminish the strategy and tactics of a Power Mode individual.

20. Perseverance with Reserved. The relationship between a person in Reserved and a person in Perseverance can be a good, but uneasy one. This is because neither will try to dominate the other and each has areas in which they excel that the other respects. It is also extremely easy for a person in Perseverance to imagine themselve’s in the other person’s place, provoking considerable compassion in the person in Reserved. This is because both people have obstacles they have had to engage in their lives. If these common problems are not seen, then there won’t be much to hold the relationship together, which means it will tend to fragment or become less interesting to both parties. The person in Reserved, in some ways, will be Inspirational to the person in Perseverance, while the person in Perseverance will likely be an action hero of the person in Reserved. The means they can complement each other very nicely.

21. Aggression and Passion. Individuals with a Mode of Passion can find ways to work effectively with individuals in a Mode of Aggression, especially if they see how to engage the person in Aggression by giving them some activity at which they can shine. In fact, this combination can be extremely powerful as it combines Inspiration and Action. The challenge is that they’re both used to defining things in their own terms and in their own way. The individual in a mode of Passion jumps into the deep end of the pool and learns to swim, while a person in a Mode of Aggression will be more effective starting in the shallow end of the pool and working their way toward the deep end. This is because a person in a Mode of Aggression is more systematic and knows what to do and when to do it so they will get immediate results. A person in Mode of Passion has to explore all the options before they determine what will be effective. The independent perspectives of these two Modes tends to keep them from working together because their differences are significant. The more conscious we are, the more effective this combination will become.

22. Perseverance with Power. An individual in a Mode of Power will do extremely well with an individual in a Mode of Perseverance. This combination is much more similar than any other Mode for each of these energies. Individuals with a Mode of Power care about getting the job done at all costs, which is uplifted and supported by a person with Mode of Perseverance. Individuals with a Mode of Power like the heroic stand that a person in Perseverance takes to accomplish things in the world, while an individual with a Mode of Perseverance appreciates the focus and clarity of a person in Power Mode. One reason why this combination tends to work more for Power Mode than any other is that the way an individual does Perseverance is based, like that of the person in Power, on a clear understanding of what is important.

23. Aggression with Caution. This combination does not do well together because neither person understands the other. The person in Caution Mode holds back action until they can talk about their concerns and ensure this is not a repeat of some past mistake. Aggression Mode does the opposite and needs to be able to spontaneously move into action and finds itself in the process of doing its actions rather than thinking about them in advance. This means it is highly unlikely these two will synch up and get into action with each other unless there is a conscious understanding of these differences.

24. Perseverance with Passion. In a situation between Passion and Perseverance, it is important that individuals in a Mode of Passion don’t impose their openness and their desire to explore all options on a person in Mode of Perseverance. This is because individuals in a Mode of Perseverance can be overwhelmed when too many ideas or possibilities are dumped on them. Perseverance is actually a Mode in which we try to focus on what we want, allowing us to improve the process in an integrative way by doing it. While Passion has a growth element in each experience, it is more open to embracing the wide variety of choices and typically like getting lost in its own process. Perseverance is more hierarchical in that individuals trust their time-worn truth and keep moving toward a place where they can be more successful. This combination does well together because it is complementary, unless there is some past experience that colors the other Mode for us.

25. Aggression with Reserved. This combination is also a very challenging one when the individuals involved aren’t conscious. An individual in a Mode of Aggression is very spontaneous in their ability to get into activity, which typically scares a person in a Mode of Reserved. A person in Reserved seeks some kind of connection first in non-physical ways because they believe it is polite. What an individual in a Mode of Reserved wants is to be given the proper respect and deference that, in their eyes, any human would want. Aggression doesn’t play by the rules and frequently steps out of bounds because they love to do things that are not considered safe. Some people in Aggression Mode also can get off on the shock value of doing things considered unpredictable because people end up not knowing what to do with them. This would likely result in both parties not finding anything in common with each other.

26. Power and Reserved. This combination usually doesn’t work together very effectively. A person in Reserved is typically overwhelmed by the quickness and intense focus placed on finding an answer by the person in Power Mode. A person in Power Mode feels like they’re walking on eggshells when they interact with a person in Reserved because the person in a Mode of Reserved needs to take things in more slowly and see the inner connections before they feel comfortable engaging the process. Again, it is important to remember a person in Reserved does what they do because it’s what they need to do. It is not effective to expect more from them or to try to change them. It is also not very likely that the person in Power Mode will change their way of doing things such that they won’t trigger reactions in the person in a Mode of Reserved.

27. Caution and Passion. The individual with a Mode of Passion can be somewhat effective in being with an individual with a Mode of Caution if they honor the concerns and fears of a person in Caution. It is only somewhat effective because the person in Caution is usually overwhelmed by all the things the person in Passion is accomplishing. The way it would work best is for the person in Passion to scale back their discussions and interests to focus on the issues and interests of the person in Caution are and limit their discussion to those things. While people in a Mode of Caution want to be connected to people with a Mode of Passion because they feel somewhat isolated in their own world, it is challenging because typically the person in Passion is changing so fast. Sometimes it is valuable for the person in Passion to be around someone in Caution because they can learn to be more selective in the ways they will grow.

Individuals in Caution typically only take on new possibilities only after a great deal of consideration, which is an admirable trait to individuals in Passion, who typically take on everything in their path and then some. The more an individual in Passion treats and respects the person in Caution in a one-to-one way, the more likely the relationship is to mature and develop. The more open and engaging a person in Passion is with everyone, the more their inclusive nature can set up repulsions in the person with Caution because of their lack of selectivity in their moment-to-moment expression. This means that a person in Caution will likely withdraw and distance themselves to keep from being overwhelmed by all the possibilities that a person in Passion takes for granted. This is an indication that the person in Passion is doing too much at that time.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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