Idealized Unity

Idealized Unity is a state of conditioning where we externalize the need for unity by expecting others to recognize the power of our personal thoughts and accept them as their truth. Idealized Unity occurs when we become so attached to our ideas that they become primary to our experience in our interaction with others. In other words, the way a person perceives our ideas reflects how willing we are to connect with them as a person. If others reject our ideas, we false believe we have no relationship with them. We are simply over identified with what we think we know. In Idealized Unity, we work on ideas and develop them over a period of time, believing that in their refinement comes our contribution to the Universe. Actually, while ideas are a part of our contribution, they are not the majority of it. We have to recognize the power of our ideas, while at the same time seeing that fixation to a concept does not particularly support it being received by others.

With Idealized Unity our focus on a goal also keeps us from truly connecting with others because we do not consider our thoughts equal. The downside of operating in Idealized Unity is that we soon lose our ability to learn and grow with others. Preoccupation with our own concepts means that we continually try to explain our experiences in terms of the ideas with which we are most familiar--our own. The problem is that many times our explanations do not reflect the outer circumstances in an effective way. One of the primary indications that we are operating in Idealized Unity is that we experience a greater fullness in our outer life because of the complexity of our own interpretations. Inwardly, this reflects that we possess little flexibility in how others accept our context. We therefore become greatly repulsed when we do not experience others’ alignment around our ideas.

The motive of Idealized Unity establishes a context where we honor our own ideas over those of others. The paradox is that we do not understand why others cannot engage our truth to the degree we can. We inaccurately believe that either we are not explaining ourselves well or that others do not have the intellectual capacity to engage our ideas. We also interpret the lack of response to our ideas as others perceiving them as incorrect or not big enough to inspire action. As a result we become increasingly attached to the greatness of our ideas. We seek acknowledgement for our effort by using the adversity to increase our strength by focusing on a particular goal. The problem is that we commonly believe that we need clarity to provoke action and when action does not occur we reinvent the idea to improve the clarity. This sabotages ultimately our greater impact in the world. As a result others have a more difficult time engaging our truth or seeing how it can benefit them.

Idealized Unity is greatly amplified by the belief of Eternal Love, where we tirelessly endeavor to bring our big ideas into manifestation. We believe that implementing our ideas will reveal the ignorance of others so they will awaken to the real need of what we have developed. The hidden belief of Idealized Unity is that “I need to see my self-created truth as an absolute objective truth in order to honor the effort and pain it caused me”. Paradoxically, our deepest fear is that we will lose our self in our thought(s). As a result, we try to objectify our thoughts by proving their superiority over the thoughts of others and are challenged and threatened when others do not agree with us. We console ourselves when things do not seem to work out that we have made an impact on others because they had to deal with our truth directly. If others are willing to debate us, we make sure to frame the debate on our terms, which makes us invincible to their superficial objections. We can only heal ourselves of Idealized Unity when we recognize the trap of becoming fixated on our idealized truths. Eventually we come to see that while thoughts have an objective reality, they are not fully useful unless they can be fully manifested and utilized in relationship to others. Just having a thought does not make it useful unless it can be shared in a way where it can be co-authored.

Now we will address how to heal our Idealized Unity conditioning. Getting caught up in our big ideas sometimes distances us from being able to convey them to others. This reflects the reality that we are driven to expand our ideas beyond our capacity to convey them. When we become fixated on our thoughts, we can easily perceive others’ questioning as a diminishing of our ideas. Instead of seeing their questioning as a threat, let us be inclusive and open to imaging how this increases our capacity to manifest our ideas in the world by having others connect to them. Let us also be willing to size and structure our thoughts to the circumstances, so we are not distancing ourselves from what can be done right now. Instead of seeking adoration from others about our ideas, let us learn how to adore others for their participation in our Universe. Idealized Unity becomes common unity to the degree that we are able to build a mutual foundation of agreement and act from it.

When we open our Self to the possibility that we no longer need to be identified by our thoughts, we paradoxically become a Thinker in our world. Our goal is to empower our thinking without becoming attached to our thoughts. This means that we can honor and be inclusive of the thoughts of others as much as “our own”. As Co-Creators using thoughts, we need both the ability to empower and disempower them. This occurs by being able to develop a deeper appreciation of how we can concentrate and mediate our thought processes, discovering a unified way of thinking. Let us begin to appreciate how our thoughts support us in exploring deeper aspects of ourselves. The more we settle into a deeper awareness of ourselves as a co-creative being, the easier it will be to focus our mind on what we wish so we can manifest what truly is in the higher interest of the world. Our greater depth will naturally then awaken a greater depth in others when they interact with us.

What makes Idealized Unity difficult is how, when certain individuals raise the standard or reveal some new truth, we tend to defer to their expertise more than we should. Even people doing Idealized Unity would agree that more participation and co-creative learning is a better thing. Unfortunately, from their perspective, in the process of being idealized they see few other people taking leadership roles. This leads them to be impatient because they want to make further breakthroughs. The problem is that people put them in positions of leadership and do not fully engage themselves. This is why so many Nobel Prize winners become so proficient at Idealized Unity. While the acknowledgement seems genuine and real, many of them get tired of the adulation and start wishing that things could be as before when they had to push the new possibilities forward and have others respond. Of course, there are always Nobel Prize winners who fall into a state of complacency and use their position to keep things from getting beyond their prevue.

In this manner we learn to enjoy the thinking of others and find value in the reflection and evolution of ideas together. We can enhance our natural desire to evolve our ideas through inviting the participation of others. This requires us to let go of our need to be the Thinker and the perpetual belief that others will misunderstand us. Instead, let us engage the humor and paradox that our differences create. When we operate in this manner, we no longer need others to agree with us in order to have a positive influence on the world. Being present to our thoughts empower us to release our self-perceptions about thoughts. The result is no-thought thinking, which we call Straight Knowing. Straight Knowing is natural wisdom that flows from our internal being. It cannot be denied. This type of insight ironically reduces dramatically our need to share. This is why many enlightened beings say little, knowing that in language their message will be greatly distorted.

The three unity belief structures of Romance, Motives, and Love particularly support the illusion that our thoughts reflect reality. The more fixated we become on our thoughts (particularly our goals), the more we unconsciously distance ourselves from others and their thoughts. Idealized Unity keeps us from real concordance with others because we unconsciously use our thoughts and goals to distinguish ourselves from others. Since we believe “we are our thoughts,” every thought that does not align with our own thoughts is threatening to us. Idealized Unity is a false belief, projected on others, of our wholeness or completeness. The price of operating in Idealized Unity is that we do not know when others are actually unified with us. This is because our fantasized projection of Unity requires others to jump through many hoops before we will accept them. Idealized Unity is actually based on unilateral thoughts where others must accept and admire us completely for us to even begin to believe they support us.

Idealized Unity allows us to fall in love with the paradigm of our own self-thought. This cuts us off from the universal thoughts that would naturally support our growth and evolution. The more we believe there is one, fixed, perfect solution, the more likely it is we are falling into the trap of reinforcing an Eternal Love. This love is the notion that our ideas are superior to others and that they should admire and appreciate their power. The fantasy in Eternal Love is that everything has reached the zenith of its expression and no longer needs to grow in its relation to the world. True Unity is constantly evolving and our thoughts have to evolve with us for them to remain authentic. One way to see this is how we often become entranced with a particular goal and are unwilling to consider alternatives. Sometimes our single-minded focus on this goal keeps us from bringing it into our life, not only because we are externalizing it, but also because we are not interacting with it in a way so that it teaches us what needs to happen. It is much more effective to interact with the goal and re-make that goal as new information and learning supports its evolution.

Along with a fixation on goals, comes a desire for Clarity at all costs. Clarity is usually an over-simplified summary of some state that reflects a true embodied concept. The “map is not the territory,” it is a summary of the experience of the territory. Unfortunately, Idealized Unity increases our obsession with the map. Clarity gives the illusion that we save time by dealing with things on a higher, superficial level. It really blinds us to what really is happening on a deeper level because the summary is not a complete reflection of the Truth. Our ability to manipulate our

thoughts depends on us prioritizing what is important about each thought. Our completeness or depth helps us enormously to recreate our experience and desire externally. The more we get caught up in symbolic representations of reality, rather than accepting the whole experience, the more distortions compromise our thinking. The illusion of clarity encourages us to believe our summary is a full understanding of our concept or goal.

To transcend Idealized Unity requires us to be present with our knowledge and be open to seeing its inadequacy to fully grasp the whole situation. Wisdom is a mutual appreciation of shared Truth and helps us transcend our own perception of Truth, because Wisdom is always open to examining the unknown. When we are open to the unknown, we can shift from Knowledge to Wisdom. Wisdom is shared Truth, while knowledge is a unilateral assertion of Truth. While Idealized Unity encourages in us a false bravado and an attachment to our ideas, actual Unity supports our humility in the face of a much larger Universe. Instead of being intolerant and trying to assert our Truth to gain the admiration of others, we need to we offer it as just one perspective among many. When we need others to agree with us, it sets us up to be the sole arbiter of what is known about the situation. While it is good to know our own experiential truth, it is egotistical to assume our truth trumps the truth of others. Therefore, we propose that all sharing of truth be seen as a common resource where an attribution of credit is not needed.

Letting go of Idealized Unity requires us to shift from a personal perspective to a transpersonal one. We must let go of any attachment to thought, particularly thoughts that separate us from others, in order to serve a greater, common good. The irony and paradox of this is that we have to let go of interpreting thoughts in a way that promotes our own personal good in order to create a framework of unity thinking where thoughts are easily shared. From the viewpoint of true unity, our attachments to thoughts “as reflections of us” reflects a personal naivety that comes from believing that we can actually possess thoughts. It is common for people to think of their thoughts as possessions because we are not yet clear how the Universal Mind is constantly stimulating our growth by providing thoughts that support us. Yes, the universe as a Universal thought, supports us as unique thought within it to grow. In our infancy, it was useful to get attached to our thoughts and learn to control and direct them. As we come into our adulthood, it is time to see how thoughts are a common resource that can be enriched through the sharing of them. Unity-aligned thoughts yield a common good because they can be freely shared with others.

The irony is that Idealized Unity promotes the illusion that our thoughts represent true unity among thinkers. The paradox is that any personal attachment to thoughts as personal resources keeps them from being easily shared with others. Our constant demand that others admire our thoughts creates pain when our thoughts are not accepted. This teaches us to let go of our attachments to our thoughts and the need to take credit for them so they can truly become universally co-creative vehicles. For many people who are attached to their thoughts, this thought unification process can hurt. This is because in depersonalizing the thoughts, it is more difficult to feel any connection to our Self. This reorientation from personalizing thoughts to depersonalizing them actually makes us invulnerable to the effect of whether our thoughts are accepted by others or not. We no longer need the agreement of others or believe their acceptance matters. As a result, our thoughts become interchangeable building blocks that fit together in congruent and coherent ways that transform our ability to contribute to the common good.

When we work with thoughts on a transpersonal level, the transpersonal thoughts of others can effectively interact with ours in a synergistic way. Our experience of unity comes from the Wisdom-inspired, Co-Creative understanding. This is found in the larger Creative Self where we are part of a greater, transpersonal understanding. We no longer experience unity on a superficial basis where it matters whether others agree or disagree with us. Instead, thoughts are experienced as ways to attain a deeper alignment between our inner and outer worlds. We realize that our beliefs do not have any positive or negative value in and of themselves. When we are attached to our beliefs and positions we naturally minimize change, creating more Intensity as we naturally resist Universal Change. Personal Intensity is neutralized when we are open and available to engage the process when opportunities arise. When we are closed down and defensive, this stress wears us out, creating friction within our selves and with others.

Beliefs about anything only distance us from our complete experience of our Truth. Our thoughts, unlike our beliefs, merely exist as part of a larger, cosmic thought of which we become increasingly aware. This is a humbling experience where what we know, when compared to that which is known by humanity, puts in perspective how our thoughts have limited use in most situations. It is this reorientation about the importance of our thoughts that awakens us to the true power in unifying our

thoughts with those of others. True Unity is the experience of seeing and experiencing how our thoughts are in alignment with the Universe. The reality of creative flow and grace is manifested.
It is easy to be fearful of the possibility of Universal transpersonal thoughts. It is easy to seek the safety of our beliefs because then we do not have to engage the larger possibility that thoughts are building blocks for our evolutionary development. Instead, we can argue and compare our thoughts endlessly, trying to prove that our ideas are superior to those of others and their ideas. When we see the fruitlessness of this exercise, we can begin to focus on how to build and communicate thoughts that will foster unity with others. Initially, this leads us to focus in areas where others will agree with us. In relationships, this creates a sense of unity and participation so Mutual Accomplishment can follow. To make this experience real, we need to recognize how our thoughts and those of others are working from an incomplete state toward a more complete state. It is through our striving to find a wholeness in thoughts that makes them attractive to others as part of their enrichment or growth process.

The reason that Idealized Unity is so challenging is that it requires us to let go of the apparent value of our self-perception in favor of some larger wisdom that may or may not serve our personal interests. In short, we actually need to let go of any exaggerated self-importance and find a balanced way of accepting what we know. We no longer have to prove ourselves when we integrate our knowing on all levels of our being. This means we create an inner equilibrium where our truth becomes obvious to ourselves and even apparent to others. When this happens, we have no need to proselytize our truth and, instead, seek to share ourselves in ways that inspire greater cooperation. The opposite of this can be seen when we become intolerant of the views of others or exclusive in our view of the truth. This reflects that we have become entangled in our projection of what we think we know, when we really do not know how to be with our truth. Being with our truth is a relaxing process. It is also an evolving one as we continually find better ways to integrate our knowing with that of other people.

We also know we have transcended Idealized Unity for Mutual Accomplishment when we have the courage to submit our ideas to others so they can be examined from different perspectives and be validated as part of a shared wisdom process. When this occurs, our self-acceptance deepens and we experience a deeper, more unified connection because a common understanding is part of our shared experience. Knowledge evolves into understanding when two or more people are able to engage it and accept it simultaneously. It evolves into wisdom when our experience is easily translatable into experience of others and becomes part of a larger, common reality. Our experience of our culture reflects the degree of shared understanding we have with those in our community. Our community is greatly enriched by the diversity of understanding and how these interactions can deepen the bond felt by all. Most importantly, our interactions become creatively empowered and serve the common good. This reflects how our sharing can have a profound effect on building inner connections among us all.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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