Establishing A Common Neutral Ground

We initially create a Common Neutral Ground affirming our Life energies. We create a field around ourselves with integrity and autonomy. In effect, we create a relationship with ourselves when we affirm, just outside of our space, a Common Neutral Ground where we can see ourselves and reflect on our own process. For some of us, it may be a new experience to affirm our consciousness in this way. It may be that we are not as experienced in self-reflection, or not being completely attached to our experience. For these individuals, we need to practice affirming ourselves, while simultaneously distinguishing our Creative Nature from our reactive one. This establishes a clear intent to connect with someone else in a way that maintains inner balance. Otherwise, we get caught up in acting out our reactions at the cost of our Creative Nature.

When we have established an inner connection to ourselves and are present, we can naturally respond to others without difficulty. Using only energy that we have in abundance, we place it in the CNG and energetically invite others to connect with us. This allows others to connect to the CNG and not intrude into our personal space. They will do this automatically if we place enough energy in the CNG and place the CNG in front of us. Individuals instinctively seek out the most energetic space to connect. If we do not do this, they will connect to us into our body systems and violate our energy frameworks. This does not mean they are attempting to hurt us, but in their ignorance, they are seeking energetic reassurance that they are okay. What we need to do instead is to connect to them in the CNG and stabilize the relationship energetically. This allows us to distinguish our personal space from the CNG space while simultaneously maintaining the energy in both. Some individuals have difficulty either maintaining their own space, or the CNG space. If we have a Dynamic Defense style, our tendency will be to forget the CNG space. If we have a Disarming Defense style, our tendency will be to support the CNG space and forget our own personal space. If we have a Distant Defense style, it may be hard to simultaneously hold both spaces because we may be easily distracted. If we have a Disnamic Defense style, we should find no trouble holding both spaces; we just need to be steady and solid in each.

When we have a connection in the CNG, we need to learn how to energetically pay attention to what is going on in that space. Sometimes, we will be drawn into circumstances where one of us is sharing a difficult experience and our partner gets caught up in the story and forgets to hold the CNG. This is not recommended. Higher Alignment would suggest that we have empathy and connection by building a picture in the CNG along with all the Feelings, Emotions, Sensations, and Thoughts that are being conveyed. By doing this, we are helping to re-create the other person's initial experience while consciously recognizing that we can open up the process by Transmuting, Transforming, and Transfiguring the basic elements. When this occurs, we temporarily lose connection with what is being said. It is like something ‘pops’ and the whole space feels different. This is the goal of a CNG where we share experiences for the purpose of revealing the underlying Lessons, Motives, Attractions, and even Relationship Skills.

This re-creation experience does not happen if we are not in touch with our own Intent, Content, and Context. Without this internal experience, we cannot reach outside of ourselves and support the conscious development of humankind. The more we have these three elements in abundance, the greater shifts others experience around us. We do not even need to tell them that we are creating a CNG. While they may become a little bit agitated at our capacity to hold Stillness, Solitude and Silence and not know what to do with our creative suggestions, the more they begin to question themselves, the more likely they can set themselves on a growth path. Growth opportunities for couples doing CNG are three to seven times more powerful than without a conscious basis for making these kinds of investigations. It is all a matter of practice.

© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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