Dynamic “self” Perception Framework

We Dynamic Defense Style individuals have a particular scientific orientation that is based on the premise that we need to validate our hypotheses. An hypothesis is a statement that we are willing to examine and verify based upon reason, logic, and deductive understanding. In this way, we are always trying to distill our higher ideas down to the most grounded and focused assumptions. This occurs because we “subjectify” our personality self, leading us to objectify and subjectify the thoughts of those around us. When we are Subjectified or subjectify others, at the base of this distortion is the belief in a certain truth. When we are unsure, we tend to take on the Beliefs of others without examining them in terms of our own Knowing. This eventually leads us to want to be seen for our Truth so that others will respond to us. What we want them to do is to agree with us without question. By this we mean that we define our “self” in terms of some ongoing process that has a larger purpose that others will defer to.

Unfortunately, we are not completely in control of this larger force. We can validate this by how polarized we become when someone else attempts to shift us to serve their purpose. We tend to over-identify with our Individuation Identity, and therefore perceive others only on the basis of their thoughts match our own. While it may be our ideas and research that distinguish us from others, we believe it is our clarity and focus that makes us powerful in the world. While we are selective about moving forward, when we want something, we are the first ones to “go for it.” Others would say that it is our attention to detail and our time orientation that allows us to push things forward, even when others are resistant. Another view of this is that we are determined not to be overlooked.

We as Dynamic Defense Style individuals believe we are optimistic because of our willingness to move into action, but we are often viewed by others as pessimistic because we are so self-focused, practical, and hard-headed. We can often appear unwilling to see things from another’s perspective. While many attribute this stubbornness to a strong intellectual focus, it is actually the result of a strong physical will and the belief that others should not interfere in ways that might compromise the success of the mission. This is why we have the reputation of being tough, self-directed, and unwilling to accede to a possibility that appears beneath our dignity.

The blind spot of our Dynamic Defense Style arises when we are co-opted into a process without our full consent. Others’ assumptions about how we should participate do not typically allow us to determine our own way of participating. Our driving force is to take control of any situation and adopt it to maximize personal benefits and returns. We are not interested in having our Intention subverted to benefit others. What makes us uncomfortable is when other Defense Style individuals seem to want reinforcement that we are aligned with them, without actually expressing the need directly. We only respect directness and up-front negotiation. Anything else is self-delusion, confusion, and whining. We are naturally suspicious of others with high ideals who have not organized themselves to accomplish their objectives in a productive manner. We focus on the accomplishment of the tasks, oftentimes at the expense of the interpersonal relationship dynamics with others. As we Dynamic Defense Style individuals evolve, our scientific foundation can migrate to become that of a Western style mystic. In both situations, there is a centeredness of purpose that progressively becomes more transparent the more we follow our bliss.

Dynamic Defense Style

Individuals who have adopted a Dynamic Defense Style need to prove outer strength and resilience. We call this a “perimeter” defense because it is designed to keep those whom we believe are unsafe from getting too close. We associate with whatever position gives us a feeling of greater strength and outer power, believing this will allow us to protect our inner sensitive nature. We try to control our destiny by quickly moving into action and pursuing our goals. Order and mastery of external tools are the way we make others feel secure around us. We rely on our intellectual perceptions to clarify our truth and distinguish our beliefs from what we perceive to be the misguided beliefs of others. Taking this position allows us to use the structure and content of what is going on to demonstrate our superior understanding of the situation. When others threaten us, we either intimidate them into silence or destroy their confidence by pointing out the flaws in their plans. We call this position a “Dynamic” one because of how we assert that we are in charge.

Dynamic Defense Style people attempt to use their skills in task management to convince others to obey them. By relying on our cleverness, we get ourselves into situations where our hands become increasingly tied because of the agreements we have made. Our agreements make us feel more secure at the outset, but they become a huge source of insecurity when we cannot find ways to bring them into alignment with each other. As we are driven to prove ourselves capable in order to earn the love of others, we frequently get caught up in activities that keep us from feeling loved. In these situations, we can easily believe others love us for what we do and not for who we are. For instance, a Dynamic defense style woman may work very hard to prove her outer strength and capability, which makes her seem unapproachable, when in fact she would appreciate being hugged, particularly if it is not connected to any predefined romantic intention.

We can recognize if we are a Dynamic defense style individual by the degree to which we attempt to assert ourselves in any situation. Our intellectual and physical presence can put off other defensive styles who typically have not defined themselves in terms of taking action. As we Dynamic defense style individuals develop our inner ability to manage time and activities around us, we naturally become more masterful. Early in our life we typically resented the intrusions of our mother in our life, so we are more sensitive to being shamed or made wrong in front of others. We feel obligated to present our perspective in the situation. As a result, we discount our fears and use our anger to push them away. We will confront any confusion because we are not comfortable around ambiguity. The advantage of this defense style is that we are automatically focused on defining our life work and finding ways to make it be more valued and effective. The down side of the Dynamic defense style is that we do not feel comfortable in undefined situations where emotions and intuitions are being used to make decisions. We do not realize that our fear of Intimacy keeps us from owning our relationship skills.

No matter what our Gender Identity, intellectually we adopted the “masculine” framework for proving our value in the world. The more we used this framework to represent ourselves, the more vulnerable we became to the blind spots of taking a purely masculine expression. As a result, we became affected by chaos, emotional turbulence and the intuitive beliefs of others. While our masculine focus helped us bring order and effective action to the task we were engaging, it kept us from wanting to interact freely and in undefined ways with others because then our objectives would no longer be assured. We started to believe our own propaganda that working with others would only needlessly waste our energy and reduce the certainty we had in manifesting our results. Until we find a way to simultaneously operate in both our masculine and feminine energies, we will not be able to understand and appreciate fully the Disarming defense style population.

As Dynamic defense style individuals, we use our Aliveness and physical agility to create quick responses to others and their situations. We use our intellectual strength and physical confidence to organize and manage our sense of direction. Typically, we use excitement to hook others into our desires. We can lose ourselves in intensity falsely believing that clear, more definitive arguments will lead to resolution. Since we believe we need to be on top of what’s occurring in the moment, we over-direct and over-plan our growth. This allows us to build a false sense of security because we become proficient at managing and organizing our use of time. In the first stage of this defense we seek to be Admired. As we begin to see the limits of our defensiveness, we seek to be Adored. We develop a sense of self by holding and expressing clear and physical and intellectual boundaries. This makes us appear self-centered and self-focused to others.

As a Dynamic defense style individual, it is easier to distance ourselves from those who possess striking differences from us. We use a physical connection to minimize the need for emotional connection. It is not until we consciously understand our defensive pattern that we begin to be more inclusive and open to others. What we fear is to be compromised by the thoughts of another, which drives us to be in charge of the direction of a creative interaction. We are most susceptible to falling into the trap of becoming over-identified with our thoughts. As a result, we are most sensitive to the distracting effects of the illusions of others. This sensitivity pushes us to be hyper-critical when others are not seeing the deeper truths of a circumstance or situation. We could end up falling into the perspective that we are the only ones who can see beyond the current situation. We tend to avoid engaging our emotions and feelings where possible because such experiences tend to promote fuzzy thinking. As a result, we are perceived by others as having limited intimacy skills.

Whenever there is a problem, we seek to resolve it immediately. We tend to dislike procrastination because we think it is a way others avoid the truth. If there is bad news to be discovered, we want to get it over right away, because we are afraid of being intellectually/emotionally blindsided. Typically, it is hard for us to receive support, particularly on the emotional level. This is because we are afraid to be indebted to others, particularly emotionally. It is our defensive perspective that others could take advantage of us, so we want to avoid up-font unconditional giving to others until they have a track record with us. Our Dynamic defense style always pushes us to be an outward performer and we end up fearing people who do not have the same commitment in life. This commitment to living life needs to be externalized and obvious to others, for us to be comfortable.

Dynamic Defense style individuals seem aloof, in charge and self-directed, wanting everything clear so we can be personally powerful. We create security through structured learning, planning and physically making things happen. We assert ourselves on intellectual and physical levels, as a way to earn the admiration and love of others. We use what we do to build self-esteem, wanting others to acknowledge that we produce unquestionable results in a methodical manner.

EXAMPLES

Clint Eastwood – actor, director
Winston Churchill – former Prime Minister of Britain
John Wayne – actor
Barbara Bush – wife of former U.S. President
Bette Davis – actor
Joan Rivers – TV personality
Cher – singer, actress
Robert Dole – politician
Elizabeth Dole – former Director of American Red Cross
Vanna White – TV game show personality
Humphrey Bogart – actor
Tina Turner – singer/musician/dancer
Janine Turner – actress
Robert Mitchum – actor
Ernest Hemingway – author
Howard Cosell – sportscaster
Mohammar Kadafy – leader of Libya
Max von Sydow – film actor
Rod Sterling –host of the Twilight Zone
Adlai Stevenson –UN- U.S. Representative during Cuban missile crisis.
Diane Feinstein – Senator from CA
Barbra Streisand – singer, actress
Lucille Ball – comedian
Diane Sawyer – TV news broadcaster
Mario Cuomo – former Governor of NY
Candice Bergen – actress
John Glenn – former astronaut and politician
Bill Walsh – former football coach
Hillary Clinton – U.S. Senator and wife of former U.S. President
Carrie Fisher – actress, author
Susan Sarandon – actress
John F. Kennedy – former U.S. President
Linda Carter – actress
Madonna – singer
Roseann Barr – comedian
Mae West – actress, entertainer
Barbara Stanwyck – actress

Fidel Castro – revolutionary and leader of Cuba
Paloma Picasso – designer, daughter of Pablo Picasso,
General George C. Patton – tough WWII U.S. Army General
Marshall MacLuhan – media critic (the Global Village guy)
Elizabeth Taylor – actress
Gloria Steinem – author, feminist, former magazine editor
J. Edgar Hoover – former Director of the F.B.I.
Spiro Agnew – disgraced former U.S. Vice-President
Billy Graham – TV evangelist
Melvin Belli – lawyer
Mary Kay Ash – founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics
Bette Midler – singer, actress
Arthur Miller – playwright
Orson Welles – author, screenwriter, director, actor
Bella Abzug – NY politician/gadfly with big hats
Angela Lansbury – actress
Kirk Douglas – actor
Yul Brynner – actor
Sylvester Stallone – actor
Arnold Schwarzenegger – actor, former Mr. Universe
Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. – former Congressman, civil rights leader, preacher
Dionne Warwick – singer
Ella Fitzgerald – incredible jazz singer
Yvonne Goolagong – multi-time Australian tennis champ
Martina Navratilova – multi-Wimbledon tennis champ
Jane Fonda – actress
Jamie Lee Curtis – actress
Barbara Bain – actress
Marsha Clark – prosecutor in the OJ Simpson case
Sophia Loren – actress
Angie Dickinson – actress
Barbara Walters – TV newscaster and talk show host
Helen Gurley Brown – magazine editor
Ann Bancroft – actress
Diana Rigg – actress
Lena Horne – singer, actress
Kirsti Alley – actress
Katerina Witt – multi-time world and Olympic figure skating champion

Dynamic Pioneering Defense Style

Dynamic-Pioneering Defense style individuals, understand a defensive reaction within ourselves when it occurs. This empowers us to honor that the defense does not necessarily reflect the truth of the circumstances we are in and that there are larger more inclusive ways of engaging the process. In this case, while our defensive tendency is to try to come up with a plan and establish a timeline for solving the problem, we know that it might be better to give some time to the experience. This means feeling what is going on and lettingourselves explore being out of control. Instead of avoiding the fear that we need to respond immediately, we embrace it and recognize that it can shift into a greater acceptance of possibilities. Rather than falling into a Dynamic Defense of attempting to minimize problems by breaking them into more manageable chunks, we can examine the possibility that there may be patterns within the problem that need to be explored before taking action. It is also important to recognize that our feelings and emotions need to be included in the exploration in order to develop an intuitive sense of how things can be engaged differently. Instead of responding to the problem by trying to figure it out, we can be with it intellectually, physically and intuitively and open to unexpected insights that could change our perspective at any moment.

While it is easy to use tools to categorize and analyze the situation, instead, what if we turned the problem over to our creative self and giveourselves time to contemplate the situation (both waking and sleeping). This allows our sub-conscious a chance to come up with new possibilities and perhaps even suggest a solution. This would support and help us to accept that we have many different types of resources that could emerge if we would allow it. Opening up possibilities in this way, encourages us to get out of our fears of being shamed and/or not loved because we are not doing what others’ want us to do. The more we break out of a time validated, content focus perspective, where details are most important, the more likely we will come up with solutions that will work with everyone and be mutually supportive. Our defense will emphasize our need for order and because it is security driven, it will use anxiety and finally anger to precipitate action if nothing seems to be getting done. We, of course, will need to listen to all the concerns that our defense has about why action needs to be taken immediately. In doing so, we honor the defensive reality that time is criticalsimultaneously deploying all our resources for a certain period. This eliminates wasting resources on partial solutions. The degree that we can be with our desire for a solution and not be driven by the fear that we will run out of time, is the same degree to which we have learned to trust ourselves.

Our confidence grows as we see that there are always solutions that arise as long as we support their emergence. This sense of spacious presence supports us in becoming more pioneering and being less attached and driven to take immediate action particularly when doing so would be counter-productive. This indicates we have learned that counter-reactions commonly reinforce the problems and therefore prevent the solutions from emerging. Instead of reacting, be with the process and allow time to find a new way of looking at it that is not as attached or compromised as our natural reaction would be. Some individuals visualize this by going against the grain and thinking in a different direction to break up preconceptions about the problem. Connecting our feelings and emotions, particularly so we do not amplify our existing reactions to the problem can also facilitate the process of building a larger context. As feelings are a reflection of our physical sensations, they help us explore ourbody wisdom. When we speak about these feelings, it helps to check in with our body awareness. Connecting our feelings to our emotions is facilitated when we acknowledge that out emotions are reflections of the congruence we experience in our thoughts and therefore, reflect changes in our mental/emotional state through time. We have the right to experience the differences between our feelings and emotions, even though it may be uncomfortable. This discomfort shows the degree to which we want to embrace the dissonance around us and our inability to accept it.

Paradox and ambiguity become resources as we learn to relax into our fears. Instead of thinking we can identify the problem and address it quickly, we learn to enjoy deepening into the situation without attempting to categorize or oversimplify different elements. We practice exploring the Mystery by searching for hidden connections, dependencies and consequences. We need to assume that there is always more to learn. If we pay attention to our subtle reactions and the reactions of others we can identify potential problems before they become major obstacles to growth and development. By allowing ourselves to create open-ended statements of intention that provoke new thinking we can investigate our own experiences and stop asking others for their opinions. Consider that any reaction within can be an indication of a disconnection when we begin to express our ideas. Assert the possibility that time spent on considering our problems is useful despite the lack of any apparent immediate effect. It is our consciousness that attracts problems to us. If we shift our awareness we can shift the type, nature and degree of problems that show up.

Dynamic Defense Style individuals can best heal by addressing the following issues:

  1. We need to stimulate our inner feminine connection to our Self, realizing we want to relate to our Self in a more fulfilling way. This will empower us to see the many different spatial dimensions energetically arising between people. Through this we learn to maintain an inner space that cannot be invaded, compromised, or taken away by others.

  2. We need to stop shaming our Creative Self as a way of making us appear unworthy of love. Otherwise, we continually have to prove our lovability. When we recognize that we focus on our personality self to keep from being distracted by others, we start to understand that our fear of being with others is self-generated. If we are able to stop shaming ourselves, we will not need to shame or blame others in order to protect our inner space.

  3. We need to soften and slow down our interactions with others so we are able to better appreciate the perfection of how things turn out. This means taking time to nurture our Self and lessen our need to use time to manage our activities and our interactions with others. This will greatly assist us in our intimacy challenges. Taking our Self off a fixed production schedule teaches us to enjoy the Mystery of what will occur rather than trying to force it to be what we want it to be.

  4. It would be useful to investigate our emotions and feelings to determine how they could communicate with one another more effectively. Remember, feelings reflect changes in our body experience while emotions reflect changes in our intellectual thought patterns. When we can integrate these two reflective intelligences, it greatly deepens our ability to relate intuitively. This will allow us to be more receptive to others on personal, social, and intellectual levels, because we will be more balanced within our Self.

  5. It is time to question and challenge how we never have things completely handled in terms of our long-term security. Imagine that we are secure within our identity to our Creative Self. Who would we be? The answer is we would be a person without defenses who now finds intimate ways to express our Self without self-sabotage. It is ironic our defenses actually create our perceptions that we are not secure. Let us recognize our true security comes from recognizing how the universe has always supported us to this point, no matter how much we have denied it. Consider how we could enjoy interacting with others even when there is nothing in common. We could discover we do not need a purpose in order to connect with others.

  6. We can investigate how we do not believe relationships are real when they are not dealing with the logistics and/or perceived tensions in the situation. We tend to want to confront these issues, believing doing so will reduce their effect. Unfortunately, when we are with Disarming defense style individuals the opposite, actually occurs. The true challenge is to create a sense of intimacy which naturally occurs when we are vulnerable and can admit when we do not know what to do. It is important that we do not over-direct others, but rather create a safe space with them so they will not feel criticized or judged. For a while, practice going overboard in the commitment to be intimate as a way to neutralize past imbalances.

  7. With the help of a partner with whom we feel a sense of Unity, Trust, and Love, we can explore how to listen deeply to our feminine side by demonstrating that we can listen to their feminine side. When we establish this common connection it dramatically reduces our ability to maintain separate positions without falling into any unconscious merging or Co-Dependent behavior. Valuing our inner feminine naturally enables us to be compassionate with others. When we no longer feel impatient or driven to manage the process we will know a shift has occurred within us around our feminine nature. Over time we will gradually become stronger and more balanced between our feminine and masculine expressions.

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© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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