Compassionate IntelligenceTertiary Mental Body Expression

(formerly known as Server, Interpersonal or Ray 2)

Known as a caretaker of others. As Tertiary Compassionate Intelligence, we need to believe in the good hearts of our friends and partners in order to invest in any relationship.  Our desire is to be supportive and accepted by others for who we are.  Our instinct is to sacrifice ourselves so that others are protected or do well. We become fixated on hearing the complete truth from our partners and friends. Any shading of the truth brings up distress and fear that they may eventually betray us. 

What we are seeking is a state of energetic continuity and clarity, where we act for you even though you may not be present at the time. This type of illumination is difficult to convey, but it comes from knowing you in your essence. Since we easily absorb the fears, doubts, and dissonances of others, it doesn’t pay to establish friends or partners who cannot make a commitment or keep their agreements. What we desire are individuals who can counterbalance and offset our own anger, fear, or misunderstandings. This means that others need to be able to meet us emotionally by being emotional themselves. 

Only when we are seen in this way, do we release our attachments to acting out with others who may not understand us as well. The core quality we provide is common sense feedback about what is appropriate and what is not. We also have the sense to know that there is a sense of timing in bringing up topics that can make a difference in others being understood or not. The key quality of Compassionate Mental Body Intelligence is how open and supportive we are with our friends, family, and partners in a way that we are not with others. With these individuals, we feel included and expansive and more than anything else, seen and accepted by them. This means we trust them not to judge us and even to take our side when others challenge us. The more we doubt that they will be there for us, the less we are encouraged to be there for them. 

Compassionate Mental Bodies want to get along and go along, letting others define what and when it is needed. As a result, we don’t have clear boundaries or state what we need, instead letting others do the talking for us. This strategy makes us seem harmless so no one wants to attack us. The real issue is that we get into situations where others expect us to do the things we have been doing, when we are overwhelmed and tired of doing them. Our whole desire to be supportive, is to be accepted by others for who we are. Unfortunately, our lack of limits invites others take advantage of us, and until we extricate ourselves from our over commitments, we have no peace or relaxation. We also take on the problems of others in order to prove our value to them. The more we are trying to help everyone, the less respect we get from people around us because everybody sees how our lack of focus compromises the thing we are trying to accomplish. Our power and prestige grows to the degree that we are selective about who we support and when we support them. The main lesson seems to be to help people learn to do something themselves, so we can keep moving on to new people and not get stuck.

As a Compassionate Mental Body, we become fixated on hearing the complete truth from our partners and friends. Any shading of the truth brings distress and fear that they may eventually betray us. What we are seeking is a state of energetic continuity and clarity, where we act for you even though you may not be present. This type of illumination is difficult to convey, but it comes from knowing you in your essence. We need to believe in the good hearts of our friends and partners in order to invest in any relationship. Since we easily absorb the fears, doubts, and dissonances of others, it doesn’t pay to establish friends or partners who cannot make a commitment or keep their agreements. What we desire are individuals who can counterbalance and offset our own anger, fear, or misunderstandings. Others need to be able to meet us emotionally by being emotional themselves.

Only when we are seen in this way, do we release our attachments to acting out with others who may not understand us. The core quality we provide is common sense feedback about what is appropriate and what is not. We also know that there is a sense of timing in bringing up topics that can make a difference in others being understood or not. Our key quality is how open and supportive we are with our friends, family, and partners in a way that we are not with others. With these individuals, we feel included and expansive and more than anything else, seen and accepted. This means we trust them not to judge us and even to take our side when others challenge us. The more we doubt that they will be there for us, the less we are encouraged to be there for them.

A Compassionate Mental Body individual is absorbent and accumulates experience without synthesizing it. This means we seek continuity by comparing various past experiences to a potential developing reality. If the conclusions are problematic, we are warned of consequences. Our tendency to jump to inaccurate conclusions is high because of how intuitive our process is. The ability to detach from patterns of the past and maintain a stillness, silence, or clarity of mind that can consider all possibilities offsets this effectively. The very openness to possibilities is a counterbalance to over-judgment or discrimination where criticalness distorts the thought process. A key consideration is knowing that we do best without a fixed timetable or the need to decide quickly. Any pressure to think or make decisions quickly based on what others need tends to minimize our own clarity or ability to represent our understanding. We know ourselves when we give ourselves time to be comprehensive and complete. We also do better in our thought processes, when we distinguish what we need from what others need from us. 

We are receptive, open, inclusive, non-decisive, and abstract in our nature. Common understanding is our goal as individuals learn how to share their knowing. Relatedness, not distinctiveness, drives the thought processes for Interpersonal Intelligence individuals. Our thoughts are more amorphous and somewhat unfocused. Some would consider us firm or hard, particularly when they do not understand us.  Others may not appreciate our type of mental process which slowly evolves and becomes less fixed over time and with experience.

We tend to evolve in our views as we learn about our own natural boundaries and the boundaries of others. Metaphorically, we primarily represent the mother or feminine framework (where being present with others enables us to deepen). We are commonly seen as reflective affirming the nature of others. Being committed to wholeness, prevents our becoming judgmental or cutting (but we do resist making decisions until something is clear).  We take input from others with the intention of finding a middle ground, so we can contribute without needing to pre-define what occurs. We empower individuals to work most effectively in environments where stillness and quiet allow possibilities to emerge. We either need to be alone or to bring others into a coherent, open way of connecting to a process by accepting and valuing our own inner knowing. This tendency to synthesize understanding with others paradoxically tends to minimize direct personal analysis, because much is commonly left unsaid (but implied for those who have ears to hear).  We support mutually created solutions defined by those sufficiently conscious to know the choices possible in each moment.

What is not understood is that our over protectiveness or over-guarding of others is primarily a way to distract ourselves from our own fears and sensitivities. The biggest problem is that we get sucked into our own sense of self-pity and vulnerability so we compensate by focusing on others. Some would say that we see this connection by how we voluntarily take on the pain of others. We see our over attachment to protecting others as a safe way of dealing with our own pain because we are afraid to be selfish or demanding. It is also true that self-pity drives us into self-critical denial of our own faults which can be verified when we feel the necessity of criticizing and correcting others.

Having a Compassionate Mental Body tends to make us receptive and absorptive as we internalize what others say. Our way of interacting focuses us more on others than ourselves. Everything therefore becomes how to meet others where they are. Anyone who denies goodness in others or personally attacks (or judges) another for their own benefit is not likely to get any support or sympathy from us. We particularly react to those individuals who will not be human, personal and real but instead hide behind the robes of academia, scholarly or divinely inspired authority. It is also irritating when others think they are right, we internally believe they are wrong and we cannot convince them otherwise. Ultimately, we feel compelled in certain situations to distance ourselves from these people. We react to those who are arrogant, willful and/or power hungry. We also hate situations where there are mandated social classes or exclusivity. What tends to imbalance us is absolute coldness and indifference to others. We use tough love and coldness in return to teach them a lesson. Even so, we have a soft spot for the underdog. We also feel compelled to protect anyone who is unfairly criticized, judged or made wrong, particularly when they are trying to make a contribution. Anyone who is needlessly harsh or critical is seen as an obstacle to growth and unity. What we find repugnant is corruption and moral cowardice particularly when it comes to being safe and secure rather than taking care of others or growing.

The main challenge in affirming ourselves is that we can’t love ourselves unless others demonstrate their love for us. This sets us up to accentuate our need for others to love us and minimize the need for us to love ourselves. It also puts in place a need to prove we are unselfish even if we cannot live up to this goal. When we are we caught in this paradox we unconsciously invert selfishness and unselfishness by believing that everyone else is more unselfish than we are. This inversion is further proven to us when our parents react to our unselfish acts by withholding their love as if the acts were selfish. Commonly this shows up as a child believing their parents’ selfish acts are actually unselfish and that our own acts to prove ourselves unselfish must, in fact, be selfish. In this framework, we, in trying to prove that we are unselfish inadvertently act selfish and cannot see it.

Compounding this problem is how this issue is linked with food as love. Whenever this confusion arises, we seek out the comfort of food as a way to validate our physical bodies that inadvertently minimizes our active use of bodies. This desire to feel full is a substitute for a desire to be safe. The more we gain weight the more we feel isolated from society around us that reinforces our fears of rejection, abandonment, and isolation.

Our desire for safety is paramount and our undue sensitivity can translate into something like being a hypochondriac. The core issue is becoming fearful about fear. This prompts us to become over reactive about anything that looks different or unusual to us. It also sets us up to be overwhelmed by the negative aspects of life. We fall into self pity and other forms of depression more easily than other energies. While self pity can show up with our intelligence on any level it is particularly emphasized in the tertiary position as a way of protecting ourselves by fixating on our fears to distract us from the real fears in our life. We also use self pity as a way to distract ourselves from the unbearable truth of certain circumstances which we are not willing to engage. As a result we make up certain truths that we call our personal wisdom to explain why we can’t deal with certain issues in life. This inadvertently keeps us stuck in layers of fear we are unwilling to unravel. It is important to note that learning to love ourselves and clear up the differences between being selfish and unselfish can release us from these problems.

Energetically, we are composed of a complete diversity of experience with Intuition and Feelings leading the way at 30% each. Our Thoughts add balance with another 20%. This allows Sensations and Emotions to complete the pattern at 10% each. Strong Feelings and Emotions empower our Intuition.  With such strong Intuition, non-concrete types of knowing supersede the regular way others perceive their own thinking.  Our inclusive way of understanding motivations and emotional desires is our strength. This potent way of seeing promotes internal faith and external devotion to the maximum in others. If we deny our Feelings, we cut ourselves off from being able to see and assemble the larger visions that arise from trusting our inner Light. Instinctively, we attempt to protect our self by denying any comprehensive inner vision that counters or opposes the truth of others. When this occurs, we end up (when repeatedly abused in this way) a shell of a person attempting to vainly demonstrate a capacity to be independent, tough, and to take care of ourselves.

Compassionate Intelligence is absorbent and accumulates experience without synthesizing it. This means that we seek continuity by comparing various past experiences to a potential developing reality. If the conclusions are problematic, we are warned of consequences.  Possible negative outcomes can overwhelm any situation, be it good or bad. In other words, the tendency to jump to inaccurate conclusions is high because of how intuitive the process is. What offsets this challenge is the ability to detach from patterns of the past and maintain a stillness, silence, or clarity of mind that can consider all possibilities. The very openness to possibilities is a counterbalance against over-judgment or discrimination where criticalness distorts the thought process itself.

A key consideration is knowing that we do best without a fixed timetable or the need to decide quickly. Any pressure to think or make decisions quickly based upon what others need tends to minimize our own personal clarity or ability to represent our understanding. We know ourselves when we give ourselves time to be comprehensive and complete. We also do better in our thought processes when we distinguish what we need from what others need from us.  Our strength is our ability to assemble minute details into a larger understanding that reflects others completely. It is our sensitivity to others that helps others identify this Intelligence. 

When we are fully developed, we are frequently considered to be kind, gracious, and abundant, which are all reflections of the feminine qualities we manifest. The lack of structure, concrete steps to take action or a sense of urgency are all reflections of Compassionate Intuition and Feminine self-mastery, which demonstrates results when appropriate and are not forced. Another indicator for us is the seeming inability to reject anyone or anything, which is the secret of our natural inclusiveness. This is why free association reveals an elaborate network of ways to think based on a capacity to see links and connections, where others commonly see none. It is important to realize that just because this analysis is not ordered and structured in linear ways it does not mean that we are not insightful and competent in seeing the whole picture. This is what makes us a polar opposite to Orchestrating Intelligence. Orchestrating is the masculine to the (feminine) Compassionate way of doing things. Compassionate Intelligence invokes while Orchestrating Intelligence provokes. 

We are receptive, open, inclusive, non-decisive, and abstract in our nature. Our internal development reflects a slow rotation that creates a spherical space where everything can be brought together. We expand or explode imbalances and obstructions in Content (expressed as structure or details), releasing Wisdom and Light.  We are called Compassionate Intelligence, because we primarily deal with what we know about ourselves and how this relates to what we know about others. Common understanding is our goal as individuals learn how to share their knowing. Relatedness, not distinctiveness, drives the thought processes for Compassionates. For this reason, our Thoughts are more amorphous and somewhat unfocused. Some would consider us firm or hard, particularly when they do not understand us.  Others may not appreciate our type of mental process which slowly evolves and becomes less fixed over time and with experience. 

We tend to evolve in our views as we learn about our own natural boundaries and the boundaries of others. Metaphorically, we primarily represent the mother or feminine framework (where being present with others enables us to deepen). For this reason we are commonly seen as a reflective Intelligence that affirms the nature of others. Since we are committed to wholeness, this prevents us from becoming judgmental or cutting (but we do resist making decisions until something is clear).  We take input from others with the intention of finding a middle ground, so we can contribute without needing to pre-define what occurs. 

We are a constantly evolving, deepening Intelligence and we embrace mystery as a key component of our nature. In the outer world, Orchestrating Intelligence is thought of as more masculine because of its order and structure, while Compassionate is considered more feminine because we encourage undefined exploration with no set goals. We are a comprehensive, inclusive wholeness which contains possibilities but we may not organize them in any consistent way. We empower individuals to work most effectively in environments where stillness and quiet allow possibilities to emerge. We either need to be alone or need to bring others into a coherent, open way of connecting to process by accepting and valuing our own inner knowing. This tendency to synthesize understanding with others paradoxically tends to minimize direct personal analysis, because much is commonly left unsaid (but implied for those who have ears to hear).  We support mutually created solutions defined by those sufficiently conscious to know the choices possible in each moment. 

Sometimes people become upset over the passivity and time required to produce self-validated, illumined solutions. These people resist operating outside a set time frame and get triggered by our lack of structure. We are varied in our decision-making process length from virtually instantaneous to an unpredictably infinite amount of time. We ponder the infinite unity of our thought process so that when a decision will be made is unpredictable. Strong, comprehensive, detail orientation is often correlated with what appears to be slow, pondering, labored interactions. Our desire to be kind and soft towards others makes us appear to be resistant to getting things done, when in fact we are just seeking a framework where mutual wisdom can best occur. 

We think that information should be shared and whoever has the most grounded information should define the natural course of action. We may appear to some as resistant to making premature, concrete conclusions (rather than moving the process along, learning along the way). 

Our Goodness shines clearly (by sharing ourselves fully), yet our desire to contribute can get us in trouble if others attempt to ‘subjectify’ us. This shows up as not being willing to remove ourselves from situations that do not support our process. We attempt to serve others at the cost of ourselves, with no apparent gain. The upside is our consciously self-sacrificing nature which often results in others learning more about themselves. This type of Intelligence manifests primarily on the Feeling and Emotional realms. Mother Teresa is an example of a Compassionate Primary (Creative Energy). Those with Compassionate Intelligence are most impacted by Subjectification and are likely to fall into Idealization. Objectification is not critical to this type of Intelligence. 

What is not understood is that our over protectiveness or over-guarding of others is primarily a way to distract ourselves from our own fears and sensitivities. The biggest problem is that we get sucked into our own sense of self-pity and vulnerability and so we compensate by trying to focus on others. Some would say that we see this connection by how we voluntarily take on the pain of others. They see our over attachment to protecting others as a safe way of dealing with our own pain because we are afraid to be selfish or demanding. It is also true that self-pity drives us into a self-critical denial of our own faults which can be verified when we feel the necessity of criticizing and correcting others around us. 

Having a Tertiary Compassionate Intelligence tends to make us be receptive, absorptive and we internalize what others say. Our way of interacting focuses us more on others than ourselves. Everything therefore becomes how to meet others where they are. Anyone who denies Goodness in others or personally attacks (or judges) another for their own benefit is not likely to get any support or sympathy from us. We particularly react to those individuals who will not be human, personal and real but instead hide behind the robes of academia, scholarly or divinely inspired authority. It is also irritating when others think they are right and we internally believe they are wrong and we cannot convince them otherwise. Ultimately, we feel compelled in certain situations to distance ourselves from these types of people. We react to those who are arrogant, willful and/or power hungry.

We also hate situations where there are mandated social classes or exclusivity. What tends to imbalance us is absolute coldness and indifference to others. We use tough love and coldness in return to teach them a lesson. Even so, we have a soft spot for the underdog. We also feel compelled to protect anyone who is unfairly criticized, judged or made wrong, particularly when they are trying to make a contribution. Anyone who is needlessly harsh or critical is seen as an obstacle to growth and unity. What we find repugnant is corruption and moral cowardice particularly when it comes to being safe and secure rather than taking care of others or growing. 

The main challenge in affirming ourselves is that we can’t love ourselves unless others demonstrate their love for us. This sets us up to always accentuate our need for others to love us and minimize the need for us to love ourselves. It also puts in place a need to prove we are unselfish even if we cannot live up to this goal. When we are we caught in this paradox we unconsciously invert selfishness and unselfishness by believing that everyone else is more unselfish than we are. This inversion is further proven to us when our parents react to our unselfish acts as if they are selfish from their point of view by withholding their love.

Commonly this shows up as a child believing that their parents’ selfish acts are actually unselfish. This means that our own acts to prove ourselves unselfish must, in fact, be selfish. In this framework, we, in trying to prove that we are unselfish inadvertently act selfish and cannot see it. Compounding this problem is how this issue is linked with food as love. Whenever this confusion arises, we seek out the comfort of food as a way to validate our physical bodies that inadvertently minimizes active use of our bodies. This desire to feel full is a substitute for a desire to be safe. The more we gain weight the more we feel isolated from society around us that reinforces our fears of rejection, abandonment, and isolation.

Our desire for safety is paramount and it’s likely that our undue sensitivity can translate into something like being a hypochondriac. The core issue is becoming fearful about fear. This prompts us to become over reactive about anything that looks different or unusual to us. It also sets us up to be overwhelmed by the negative aspects of life. This means we fall into self pity and other forms of depression more easily than other energies. While self pity can show up with our Intelligence on any level it is particularly emphasized in the Tertiary position because it is mainly a way of protecting ourselves by fixating on our fears so we can be distracted by the real fears in our life. We also use self pity as a way to distract ourselves from the unbearable truth of certain circumstances which we are not willing to engage. As a result we make up certain truths that we call our personal wisdom that explains why we can’t deal with certain issues in life. This inadvertently keeps us stuck in layers of fear that we are unwilling to unravel. It is important to note that learning to love ourselves and clear up the differences between being selfish and unselfish can release us from these problems.

As parents, love is the most important quality that we can teach our children. Their sense of safety is always assured, because we make sure they know that no matter what happens, we will always love them. Due to our depth and energetic experience of bonding with our children, it is easy to always know the truth about where they are and what they have done. This makes it possible for us to provide direct feedback as to what is right or wrong, but it may also be easy for us to overdo the feedback.  The key issue with this bond is becoming overly hurt or critical about the performance of our children; this could impact them as an enormous blow provoking shame, blame, or guilt that is out of proportion with the circumstances.

This occurs when we do not know how to moderate our anger or displeasure when a child misbehaves. As the saying goes, “you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar”. The more we use praise and maintain a positive connection with our children they will naturally seek to support our values and rules. If on the other hand, the children become terrorized by our projections of fear, it is likely they will become incapacitated and unable to take any action for fear of dire consequences. This negative feedback prevents the natural feedback loop that encourages children to take risks and grow.

When we operate from this Mental Body love is the most important quality we can teach our children.  We focus on their well-being and their ability to connect to us more than any other Mental Body. We want the child to pay attention to us, otherwise we do not know if the child will operate in a safe manner. Our child’s sense of safety is always assured, because we make sure they know that no matter what happens, we will always love them. Due to our depth and energetic experience of bonding with our children, it is easy to always know the truth about where they are and what they have done. The problem is that we may have difficulty maintaining boundaries with them. This means if we get angry they can take on our anger in a way that is not healthy or appropriate for them. The positive side of this is that they know where they stand with us as they learn to read us energetically making it possible for us to provide direct feedback as to what is right or wrong, although it may also lead us to overdo the feedback. 

The key issue with this bond is our children can become overly hurt or feel we are being overly critical about their performance, which is not our intention.  We want them to get the message about what works and doesn’t work in the world. We may hurt our children when we do not know how to moderate our anger or displeasure when they misbehave. As the saying goes, “you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar”. The more we use praise and maintain a positive connection with our children the more they will naturally seek to support our values and rules. If on the other hand, children become terrorized by our projections of fear, it is likely they will become incapacitated and unable to take any action for fear of dire consequences. Ironically, when our children shut down, we end up becoming tougher and try to make them more independent. Usually this is triggered by their unwillingness to listen to us or engage what they suggest. This negative feedback prevents the natural feedback loop that encourages children to take risks and grow.

We naturally want to be affectionate but recognize that our own upbringing can get in the way of showing our love to the level we wish. When children match or exceed our expectations we can become very easy going and laissez faire with the rules and structure. This is our way of helping our children to find their own optimum Creative Expression. If on the other hand our children do not listen or worse yet, act like they do not care, we feel a strong obligation to keep the pressure on and teach them to respect the rules. We do extremely well with Compassionate children. We feel more uncomfortable with Visionary, Orchestrator or Implementer children because we frequently see them as rebellious and willful. Inventor and Storyteller children can either be extremely compliant or defiant, depending on their ability to listen and respond. Compassionate Mental Bodies also adore children when they are babies, but find it more challenging as the child grows and begins to differentiate themselves from the parent.

Page Author: 
© Copyright 2016, Larry Byram. All Rights Reserved.

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